


Save Me From Who I'm Supposed To Be

by FlowersOnMyMind



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Homophobic Language, Jerk!Ashton, Language, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Mashton friendship, Miles Teller cameo, Sexual Content, Slash, Violence, cake friendship, innocent!luke, malum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-02-25 13:16:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 77,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2623118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlowersOnMyMind/pseuds/FlowersOnMyMind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People from all around the world are willing to have just one night with popular actor Ashton Irwin. Ashton's agent hires Luke to pose as his boyfriend, hoping that Luke will help clean up Ashton's image. Will Luke be able to handle Ashton's stream of women and drinking habits and his horrible attitude?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. They say we're too young now to amount to anything else

**Author's Note:**

> ~This is my first 5SOS story, so please go easy on me! I'm very excited to be posting this! I have many chapters typed up. I'm not sure how long it will be, but trust me, it's going to be very long!~

Luke glanced down at the magazines on the desk that the man in front of him spread out. He bit his black lip ring out of nervousness.

 

“What do you think about this?” The elderly man gestured to the booklets filled with rumors, sex, drugs, and lies. Probably some truths too, Luke wasn't sure. He didn't know any celebrities.

 

“I um,” Luke began, “Think it’s horrible.”

 

“Why do you want this job, Mr. Hemmings?”

 

Luke gave a small shrug, “My family needs the money. I want to help my mom out with the bills.”

 

“And why do you think you are qualified?”

 

Luke shrugged again, “I don’t do drugs, or drink or have casual sex.” His face burned as he said sex. He almost said he was still a virgin, but thought that would have been too much information.

 

The man nodded, “Mr. Irwin has just strayed from the path. If you two can make it look like he’s changed or starting to change then hopefully it will help his reputation and hopefully make him a better person.”

 

"So, you want me to be, like, a role model?"

 

The man nodded.

 

Luke looked down at the first magazine. It was a People’s magazine. On the cover showed Ashton Irwin wearing black ripped skinny jeans, a black Nirvana t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, black boots, a red banana tied around his forehead and sunglasses. His arm was around a very, very thin blonde girl.

 

The headline read, “Has Ashton moved on already?” And underneath it in much smaller writing it said, “It’s not even been a week since his split from Kendall Jenner.”

 

The next one was a Life Style. It showed Ashton out in the street, obviously drunk. He even had a beer bottle in his hand. Half of his face was buried in a brunette woman’s neck. 

 

This headline was much worse; “Ashton Irwin sex addict?”

 

Luke winced and looked at the next one. He paid no attention to the picture. He bit his lip as he read the headline to himself, “Ashton Irwin needs rehab for sex, drugs, alcohol, AND anger management?”

 

He couldn’t help it and looked at the picture. Ashton sported a black eyes and a cut was evident on his forehead. He was looking down and had his sunglasses in his hand, raised, about to put them on.

 

Luke refused to look at anymore. If he gets the job it’s going to be a hard one.

 

“From what I’ve read in your résumé, I think you’re the one.”

 

Luke looked up at him quickly with wide eyes, “Really?”

 

The man nodded.

 

“I care for Ashton. I’ve been his manager since he started acting when he was just a little boy. I want him to change, to be the Ashton I once knew. And maybe you’re just the one to do it. It will help clean up his reputation as well.”

 

“Thank you sir. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

 

The man stood up and walked around the side of his desk, Luke met him in the middle.

 

“No, thank you.” He held his hand out and just as Luke was about to grab it the man took it back just a tad, “Now, this is warning. This will not be an easy job. It’s going to be blood, sweat and tears from here on out. Are you mentally capable of handling this?”

 

Luke hesitated for a moment. Could he handle this bad boy star? He finally nodded.

 

The man smiled sweetly at him and held his hand out, “Then Mr. Hemmings, you have a job.”

 

“Thank you so much Mr. Jones. This really does mean a lot to me.”

 

“Well, you still have to meet Ashton.” He frowned, “You might change your mind after you two meet. I’ll arrange for you two have date tonight. A car will come and pick you up at exactly 8 o’clock. Dress nicely. And be prepared. ”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

“Please, call me Roy. I think I’m going to like having you around Lucas. You seem like a real nice boy.” He smiled.

 

Luke had a soft spot for old people. Roy looked as though he was around his late sixties, maybe early seventies.

 

“Please, call me Luke.” Luke mimicked and Roy chuckled.

 

“Alright, well, I have your number. I’ll give you a call later to make sure everything is going okay.”

 

With that said Roy escorted Luke out of his office, passed his secretary and to the elevator.

 

When Luke stepped out of the building he looked around for his best friend. He spotted him sitting on a bench, sipping a drink out a white Styrofoam cup. The straw was darkened; it was mostly coke or Dr. Pepper Luke noted.

 

The boy looked up and smiled at the blonde. He stood up and walked over to him.

 

“Hey, how did it go?”

 

“I got it. I got the job, Calum.”

 

The Kiwi boy smiled hugely and jumped up and down giddily.

 

“That’s great! I’m so happy for you for you. Hopefully some  _important_ person sees you and takes you away to be a model.”

 

Luke rolled his eyes, “Like I could ever be a model and why would I even want to be one?”

 

Calum shrugged, “You’re hot Luke. You could definitely be a model.”

 

“And ruin our dreams of becoming a famous band? As if.” Luke scoffed.

 

Calum slung an arm around the other boy’s shoulders, “You’re right. You better not forget about me now that you have a super famous actor for a boyfriend.”

 

“We’re not really together, Cal. It’s just pretend. You know, to better his image. We’re still going to make it as a band if it’s the last thing we ever do!”

 

“You’re right, Luke! We can do this!” He thrust his drink in front of Luke’s face. “Want some? I would have bought you one too, but I ran out of money.”

 

Luke took the drink from him and sipped it. It was Dr. Pepper.

 

“Money won’t be a problem one day.”

 

Calum smiled as they began walking down the street, “We’ll be living it big with the rich and famous!”

 

 

“This is fucking stupid!” Ashton yelled at Roy.

 

“Now, Ashton, I’m just trying to help you -”

 

“I don’t need help!” Ashton slumped down in the chair Luke had just been sitting in an hour before.

 

“- And I think this boy will really help you clean up your image.”

 

“When will I see him?” Ashton grumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“You will be meeting him tonight. You two have a date.”

 

“I can’t believe you did this to me!”

 

“It’s not permanent. It’ll just be for a few months, five months tops.”

 

“Is he even a good looking guy? Ugh! Why does it matter? I’m not even gay!”

 

“Luke is a very handsome young man. And I know you’re not gay. I’m trying wean the press off of your one night stands. Just in the last week I’ve seen you take five-”

 

“Four!”

 

“-Four different girls home with you.”

 

“And you’re point is?” Ashton asked exasperatedly.

 

“It’s only Tuesday!”

 

 “I’m 20 fucking years old! I have needs!”

 

Roy pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily.

 

“Just, please, give this a try. It will do you some good. It’s either this or rehab. You’re spiraling out of control, Ashton. I’m worried about you. Over the years you’ve become like a son to me.”

 

“More like a grandkid.” Ashton spat, aiming for the man’s old age.

 

“Okay, fine. You can start calling me Grandpa or Gramps and I’ll call you sonny!” Roy was done, he was done at that moment with Ashton.

 

“I’ll send a car to come pick you up.”

 

“I’ll drive my own car there, thanks.” The younger man said rudely.

 

Roy gave him a nod, not having the energy to argue.

 

Without another word Ashton pushed himself up and walked out of the office, slamming the door as hard as he could behind him. He didn’t care if it was childish. If Roy was going to treat him like a child then he might as well act like one.

 

When he walked out of the building he saw his a flash of lime green.

 

“Hey, mate. How’d it go?”

 

“Fuck off!”

 

“That good, huh?” The boy with colored hair laughed.

 

“Roy is actually making me go on a date with a complete stranger!”

 

The other boy pointed out, “Ash, you sleep with strangers all the time. I think you can manage this one date.”

 

“It’s not just one date, Michael! I have to be with him for five months!”

 

Michael winced, “Maybe it won’t be so bad. He might be really hot and fun to be around.”

 

Ashton scoffed, “As if! This is going to be a fucking nightmare!”

 

He stormed off down the street, Michael following behind him.

 

“I bet he’s really dorky looking. You know, wears glasses, and his mommy dresses him in polo shirts and khaki pants. He probably volunteers at puppy shelters on weekends too. UGH!”

 

“Calm down, mate. You wear glasses. I’m sure he’s not that bad.”

 

“I need a drink and if I’m lucky I can get in a quick fuck before tonight.”

 

Ashton missed the sad look on Michael’s face. Michael and Ashton have been best friends since they were in the first grade. Michael has stuck beside the actor through everything, through the hardships of being famous, the rumors, lies, and Ashton’s extensive partying. Now, Michael will go out and have a beer or two, maybe even three. But that’s his limit. He doesn’t like losing control of himself and waking up feeling like he’s dying the next morning.

 

“No, don’t do that. I’ll come to your house and help you get ready.” Michael suggested.

 

He’s done everything he could possibly do except lock Ashton up and throw away the key. Nothing ever works.

 

“Fine.” Ashton said and Michael smiled. Maybe he’s really going to start changing.

 

“But I’m still having a drink.”

 

Michael’s shoulders slumped. His hopes crushed.

 

Once they stepped into Ashton’s home the actor kicked off his boots, and tore his jacket off. He let it hit the ground as he walked into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and pulled out a beer.

 

“Want one?” He tipped the bottle towards his friend.

 

Michael just shook his head ‘no.’

 

“What are you going to wear?” Michael asked.

 

After downing half the bottle Ashton said, “What I have on.”

 

“What?” Michael grinned, “No way. Come on.” He grabbed his friend’s wrist and pulled him upstairs.

 

As they walked Ashton fought against the green haired boy.

 

“Dammit Michael! No! I don’t care what I look like. I’m not trying to impress this guy! He’s just a fag!”

 

Michael stopped and turned around, “That was uncalled for, Ashton, and you know it.”

 

Ashton’s shoulders slumped just a little, but the hard look on face never faltered.

 

 “You know I didn’t mean it towards you, Michael.”

 

“It doesn’t matter. I’m gay, you know.”

 

“Whatever.” Ashton muttered as pushed passed the other boy.

 

Michael tried to brush it off his shoulder, but Ashton often hurt his feelings and he never apologized for it.

 

He picked out Ashton’s outfit and laid it out on the boy’s bed.

 

“Why do I have to dress nice?”

 

“Because you want to make a good impression.”

 

Ashton rolled his eyes and got dressed in the clothes his friend picked out for him anyway.

 

A minute later he stood in black vans, black skinny jeans that were ripped on one knee, and a loose white t-shirt. It said in thick black letters, “It smells like teen spirit.”

 

He kept his black bandana on.

 

“You look good, mate. What time do you have to be at the restaurant?”

 

“8, I think.”

 

“Well, it’s 7:30. Why don’t go on ahead and get going.”

 

Ashton trudged passed him.

 

“I’ll be here when you get back!” Michael called as Ashton left the house. Michael stood in the doorway, “I love you, Ashy! You have a wonderful time now! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

 

 

Luke groaned as he rifled through his closet.

 

“I have no idea what to wear!”

 

Calum who was almost buried under a mountain of clothing on his friend’s bed, gently picked up a royal blue sock that was draped across the top of his head.

 

“And I thought this was all just pretend?”

 

“It is!” Luke shouted and turned around to face him.

 

“Then why are you freaking out about how you look?”

 

“Because Roy said I need to dress nice!”

 

“I’ll help. As soon as I swim my way out of this sea of black skinny jeans and band shirts.”

 

It actually was a small struggle to get out of the pile of clothes. Once he got out he walked over to Luke’s closet. A few moments later he thrust a few articles of clothing into Luke’s arms.

 

“Here, try this!”

 

Luke changed into the outfit Calum had picked out for him.

 

Calum whistled, “Look at you! Being all handsome and shit!”

 

Luke looked at himself in the mirror in the corner of his room.

 

He wore black skinny jeans, black and white converse, a black simple plan shirt that says, Simple Plan really huge in white, and a dark gray button up shirt over it. He left it unbuttoned.

 

“Keep in your black lip ring. I like it. It looks best on you. And now your hair,” Calum swalked over to his friend and ripped his light gray beanie off his head.

 

He looked at it, “Is this mine?”

 

Luke shrugged and gave him a shy smile, “Maybe? No telling.”

 

Luke and Calum have shared clothes, food, and when they were younger they would often get sick at the same time. They share everything. Calum shrugged before putting it on his own head. He grabbed Luke’s wrist and pulled him out of the room and across the hall to the bathroom. He plugged in Luke’s hair straightener. When it was hot enough Calum got to work.

 

“You look so good!” Calum practically squealed once he finished. Luke looked in the mirror once again and saw his friend styled his hair up in a tall quiff.

 

He heard his phone ring from his room.

 

_‘And tonight I’m feeling like an astronaut, sending S.O.S from this tiny box!’_

 

Luke dashed for his room.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Luke? It’s Roy! I’m out front. The car his here to take you to restaurant. I thought I would come along for the ride. I’ll be there when you get picked up as well. I want to hear how everything went.”

 

“Okay. I’m coming out.”

 

After he hung up he turned to Calum.

 

“I think I’m going to be sick.”

 

Calum cupped his face, “Hey,” He spoke in such a soft and gentle voice. “It’s going to be okay. Go give that guy hell. Don’t let him push you around. And if he hurts you in any way tell me and I’ll kick his ass.”

 

Luke smiled, “See you later.”

 

“I’ll be here when you get back. I need to hear everything! Every little detail!”

 

Luke playfully rolled his eyes, “Deal.”

 

When looked got into the very roomy car Roy greeted him with a smile.

 

“You dress like Ashton. I’m sure he’ll like that.”

 

Something in the tone of Roy’s voice or maybe it was the look on his face told Luke that Ashton wouldn’t like anything about him.

 

“I hope so.”

 

“Ashton insisted on going in a different car. He’ll meet you there.”

 

Luke felt as though he was about to cry. He didn’t like this. He was so nervous he felt this whirling in his chest, as if there was a storm going on in there.

 

Roy patted the boy’s knee, “Try not to worry so much. Ashton is a difficult person to deal with sometimes, but he can also be the most sweetest boy you’ve ever met.”

 

Not knowing what to say Luke just gave a lopsided grin. He looked out the window the rest of the time to the restaurant. When they arrived Luke almost turned to Roy and told him to forget it. He couldn’t do this.

 

Roy leaned over Luke and opened his door. Luke took a deep breath before stepping out of the vehicle.

 

“Tonight will be the test whether or not this will work out. Try to relax. I’m sure everything will go alright.”  

 

Now standing out on the sidewalk Luke closed the car door and walked into the restaurant. It was a very nice place. The ceiling was high, and in the middle of it was a huge glass chandelier. Luke couldn’t help but think what would happen if it fell. He shivered at the thought.

 

The tables were small and round with white table clothes on them, the chairs were a dark, shiny brown with red velvet cushions, and the waiters wore suits that made them look like penguins. Luke bit his lip to keep from laughing. Penguins are the best.

 

“Excuse me, sir, can I help you?” A man said at the podium by the door. He looked at Luke with a small look of disgust. Luke wanted to crawl in a hole and die. It was the way he was dressed Luke just knew it. He should have borrowed something of his brother’s, if only his brothers weren't so huge. Ben went to college on a baseball scholarship while Jack went on a football one.

 

“I um, am meeting someone here.”

 

The man looked down a black leather book and picked up a very expensive looking pen.

 

“Name?”

 

“Oh, I’m Luke Hemmings.”

 

The man rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Not  _your_ name. The name that the reservations is under.”

 

Luke blushed. How was he supposed to know?

 

“Um, Ashton Irwin.”

 

The flipped the page over, “Ah, yes. Here it is.” He closed the book harshly.

 

“Follow me.” He said and turned around.

 

As Luke followed him he looked around and couldn’t help but feel underdressed. Everyone in there was wearing nice tailored suits or beautiful cocktail dresses.

 

“Here we are.” He stopped at the table.

 

This was the first time Luke and Ashton made eyes contact with one another.


	2. I bite my tongue but I wanna scream out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Ashton is a total jerk in this. Just a heads up! And by the way, I love Ashton! This is just a story!~

Luke immediately bit his lip ring out of nervousness. Ashton was leaned back in his chair, only two legs on the ground. 

“So, you’re him?” Ashton asked.

Luke just nodded.

Ashton sighed heavily and rolled his eyes, “Well, are you going to sit down or not?”

Luke did so; he sat across from the other boy. 

A few minutes passed by in utter silence. 

“Can you even talk?” Ashton asked him. 

“Um, I…”

Ashton let out a loud exasperated breath, “I guess not then.” He looked around for a waiter. He needed a drink. 

“I’m Luke.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Ashton looked very bored, “Roy told me. When you think of something else let me know.”

Luke wanted to cry. Ashton was a real jerk. How was he going to put up with him for months on end? He’s already made the blonde feel small and stupid. 

“What did you think of my movie?” Ashton threw a foot up on the table and leaned back in his chair again. 

Luke winced. He hadn’t ever gone to see it. He remembers when it came out a few months ago. It was either go see that or How To Train Your Dragon 2. He and Calum obviously chose the second option. After many tears and buckets of popcorn they knew they made the right choice by seeing that instead. Luke can’t even remember what the boy’s movie is about. 

“Um…” He began, “I kind of, haven’t seen it.” 

“Are you serious? Everyone I know has seen it.”

“Well, I didn’t see it, nor has my best friend Calum.”

“Why not?”

“Because we didn’t want to.” Luke said, gaining a little confidence.

“Well, it’s really good. It earned 4 stars. I might even win an award for it.”

Luke couldn’t stand people like Ashton. He was so self-conceited. 

“But whatever, it’s your loss.”

“The world doesn’t revolve around you. If someone doesn’t worship the ground you walk on they’re not going to die.” 

Luke wanted to get a razor blade and cut himself long ways. Had he really just said all that?

Ashton dropped his leg from the table and leaned forward and in a dangerously low voice he said, “No one talks to me like that.” 

Luke was terrified then. 

“I-I just did.” He stuttered. He cursed himself. He just ‘had’ to stutter. 

Ashton glared at him and leaned back in his chair once again. 

“You know,” Ashton, said matter-of-factly, “I can just tell Roy that I don’t like you and he can fire you.”

Luke worried his lip some more.

Ashton’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out to see that Roy was calling him. 

“What?” He snapped as soon as he answered it. 

“At least ‘act’ like you’re on a date. Luke looks absolutely terrified and you look like you’re about to kill him.”

“How do you know?” Ashton asked looking around the place until his eyes landed on the elderly man in the far corner. 

Luke followed his gaze and he grinned when he saw Roy. He waved at him, and Roy waved back. Ashton looked at Luke with a scowl. 

“Hold his hand, smile, laugh, do something couple-like for God’s sake!”

Ashton hung up on him then. 

“What did Roy say?” Luke asked curiously.

That angered Ashton. Everything about this kid angered him. Rolling his eyes he grabbed hold of the boy’s hand and laced their fingers together. Luke blushed and Ashton fought the urge to groan. 

‘This kid must be gay. He totally wants me!’ Ashton thought.

“We have to act more like a couple Roy says.”

“Oh.” Luke said softly. “Um, so, what do you like to do?”

Ashton kept looking around, checking to see if anyone he knew was in here. 

“If you look up my bio on Google you’ll know everything. But let me give you the shortened version of it. I like sex, alcohol and sex.”

Luke suddenly felt disgusted by the boy holding his hand. Roy mentioned that Ashton had a lot of…. partners. What if he has something? The thought made Luke sick to his stomach. 

“What about you? No, let me guess, you’re a momma’s boy, you’re probably obsessed with some stupid little fury animal, I’m going to go with kittens, you’re a wannabe star and only have one friend. And correct me if I’m wrong about any of it.”

“You are wrong about one thing.”

“And which is that? Do you really have no friends at all?”

Luke leaned in as if he was going to reveal some big secret, “Its penguins I’m obsessed with, not kittens.” 

He started laughing and Ashton wanted to punch him in the face. He tried to insult him and here Luke is laughing like an idiot. 

“Well, what kind of music do you like?” Luke asked once he stopped laughing. 

Sighing Ashton informed him, “Green Day, All Time Low, ColdPlay, Busted, and I like some old stuff like Bon Jovi.”

“I like them too, plus Simple Plan, Sleeping with Sirens, and Josh Ramsay.” 

“Look,” Ashton looked at him, “I really don’t care. The only reason I’m here is because Roy made me come. I don’t care about your weird penguin fetish or what music you like. I don’t give a flying fuck about you at all.” 

That shut Luke up. 

“We have to spend time together for a while. I’m just trying to make it a little easier by getting to know each other.”

Ashton didn’t say anything. 

The waiter came by and they ordered. While they were waiting for their food to arrive Luke noticed Ashton moved his head around, back and forth. Luke turned his head to find out what caught the actor’s attention. 

Bingo. 

There was a woman sitting at a table a little ways behind them. She was in a very small black dress. And by small, it barely covered her breasts and it hardly went to the middle of her thighs. She stood suddenly; her long legs were tan and looked smooth. She was very beautiful. Looking back to the actor Luke saw how Aston was undressing her with his eyes. He could only imagine what he was thinking of doing to her. Luke shook his head to rid the horrible thoughts. Luke doesn’t know how people go around offering their bodies to people left and right. Are people not afraid of diseases? Are they not afraid to die? How could you possibly feel good about yourself after sleeping with a complete stranger? Luke would never understand. 

Their food arrived and Ashton immediately began eating. Luke poked his food around on his plate. Spending just a short 25 minutes or so with Ashton has made Luke lose his appetite. 

“Oh God, please don’t tell me you’re anorexic too?” Ashton moaned. 

Luke looked up at him quickly, “What? No, no, I’m not…anorexic. Just not really hungry.”

Ashton reached over and with his fork stabbed a piece of broccoli from Luke’s plate and munched on it. Luke pushed his plate forward, offering it to him. Ashton continued to pick his off Luke’s plate once and a while. By the time the waiter came back by and offered them dessert Ashton was too full from eating his and Luke’s plates and Luke kindly declined. Ashton paid and as they were walking towards the exit Ashton cursed, “Shit.” 

“What is it?” Luke picked his head up and saw a couple of paparazzi outside. 

Ashton moved closer to the blonde boy and draped an arm over his shoulders. 

“Just keep your head down.” 

Luke did as he was told and then they walked out side.

“Ashton, whose your friend?”

“Is he your boyfriend?”

“Ashton!”

“Are you on a date?”

“When did you know you were gay?”

Thank God the car pulled up and Roy opened the door and they climbed inside. Once they were safe and sound Luke sighed in relief. His heart was pounding and he was sweating. 

“You okay Luke? It is a bit overwhelming, isn’t it?”

“I-I’m fine.” 

Roy smiled at him, “Good. So, how was the date?”

Aston mumbled something. Luke didn’t catch exactly what. 

“Well, it doesn’t matter now anyway. The paps saw you two. It’ll be all over celebrity news by the morning. I’m pretty sure its already on Twitter.” 

“So, Luke I need you to sign the contract.” 

Luke hesitated. Did he really want to? Heck no! But he wasn’t going to let Ashton scare him off. He needed to help his mom. 

Roy pulled out a thin packet of papers and pen. 

“Just sign here, here, and here.” 

Luke did as he was told. 

“There,” He smiled, “It’s settled. You’re boyfriends!”

Luke couldn’t have been more relieved when they pulled up in front of his house. 

“Thanks, uh, for everything.” He told Ashton. 

Ashton didn’t say anything, so Roy tapped him on the shoulder, a bit too harshly. 

“UGH! Yeah, I’m so glad that I get to be stuck with you for the next five months! You have a good night, now.” Sarcasm dripped from each word. 

Roy sighed heavily and turned to Luke with a sad smile. 

“Good night Luke. If you need anything don’t hesitate to call me, okay?” 

Luke gave the world’s tiniest grin and got out. 

As soon as Luke got out Ashton went on a rampage. 

“He’s fucking horrible! He’s so weird!” 

“Now you stop that. Luke is a really nice boy.” 

“To you! He hasn’t even seen my movie!”

Roy was exhausted. It had been a long day. 

Once Ashton got home he stormed inside. 

“Hey, how’d it go?” Michael asked from his spot on the couch. 

“Fuck off!”

“We’ve really got to work on your vocabulary. It’s so limited.” Michael grabbed up the remote, paused his movie and jumped up to follow Ashton upstairs.

“Seriously, how was the date? Was it love at first?” Michael asked.

Ashton plopped down on the edge of his bed. 

“Hell no!” Ashton roughly pulled off his boots. 

“He’s so fucking…innocent! He stutters, and mumbles, and bites his lip ring almost every second!”

“Lip ring? So, I take it his mama doesn’t dress him in khakis and polos?” Michael leaned against the doorframe. 

“He wore black skinny jeans and a Simple Plan shirt. I bet he only dressed like that to impress me. Fucking pathetic.” 

“Ash, you have got to try and change. I don’t want my best friend to go to rehab.”

Ashton paused his movement, in the midst of taking his shirt off. 

“Tell me more about this boy. What’s his name? What’s he like?”

“Luke.”

“And?” Michael pushed. 

“He likes all the same music we do. And he has a weird obsession with penguins.”

Michael smiled at that, “He can’t be all that bad if he likes Green Day. And penguins are cute.” 

“That’s besides the point, Michael!” Aston got up and threw his shirt at his friend. 

Michael caught it.

“What else do you know about him?”

“He hasn’t seen my movie!”

“Oh no, God no! The world is ending!” Michael joked. 

That earned a glare from the actor. 

“Why don’t you just give him a chance?”

“Um, hello! I’m not gay! I don’t my cock in a dude’s ass!”

Michael wrinkled his nose, “Thanks for the mental picture, buddy. I’ve always wanted to picture you having sex.” 

Ashton couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on his lips. 

“When do I get to meet your boyfriend?” 

“Don’t know, don’t care.” He stripped his skinny jeans and put on a pair basketball shorts. He then fell onto his bed, draping an arm over his eyes. “Will you get me a beer?” He mumbled.

“I’m not your butler. If you really want it then get it yourself.” Michael said and pushed himself up off the frame. 

“I’ll be downstairs. See you in the morning.” 

 

When Luke arrived home he heard Calum in the kitchen. He walked in to see Calum standing by a bowl of cookie dough. His mother was at the sink washing her hands. 

“Luke!” Calum said happily. 

His mother turned her head and smiled at her son. “Hey baby.” She turned her body to face him and tried her hands on a dishtowel. 

“How was the date?” The Kiwi boy asked setting down the whisk full of dough. 

“Um,” Luke said, his voice shaky. He was on the verge of tears. 

“Oh my poor baby.” Liz said, walking over to him with open arms. 

Luke sobbed into her chest. 

She shhh’d him, “It’s okay, baby. It’ll be okay. You don’t have to do this.” 

Luke jerked his head away, “But I do mom. I signed a contract!”

“Aw, Luke.” Calum said, his heart breaking for his friend. 

“He’s horrible! He’s so mean! I’ve never met anyone like him! I can’t do this! I’m not strong enough!”

“You shut the hell up!” Calum shouted.

“Calum,” Liz gasped. 

Calum ignored her and marched over to his best friend. And pulled him away from his mother. Cupping his face he said, “Listen to me, Luke! You are the strongest person I know! I have faith in you! You can do anything! Don’t let this dickhead get to you.” He rested a hand on the back of Luke’s head and pulled him down. Luke buried his face into Calum’s neck. 

“You’re so strong.” He whispered.

Luke held onto him for dear life. 

Liz smiled at the scene before her. Calum was like a son to her. She cared for him deeply. 

After a few moments Calum cupped Luke’s face again, “Me and Liz are making cookies. Come on!” He grabbed Luke’s hand and pulled him over to the bowl on the kitchen table. 

Luke let out a watery chuckle. 

Maybe, just maybe, things would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Tell me your thoughts!~


	3. Now it feels we're as close as strangers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~I'll try to post chapter four soon! Just stick with me on this!~

Luke didn’t have to see Ashton for three days, which was a blessing. When Roy called him he almost burst into tears, but remembered what Calum had said though. He can do this. 

“Hello? Luke? Hey! I’m in the neighborhood and I was thinking about coming by to pick you up and drop you off at Ashton’s for a little bit. I’ll drive you home later.” 

“Oh, um…”

“Are you busy?”

“No.” He almost said ‘yes’, but then that would be lying. Lying is never good. 

“Great! I’m outside your house now.” 

“I’m coming.” 

After slipping into his converse he walked downstairs. His mom was curled up on the couch reading a book. 

“Hey baby.” She smiled, “Where are you going? To see Calum?”

Luke shook his head. He had to be strong. 

“Roy, the man who hired me, is going to drop me off at Ashton’s house.”

Liz’s smile fell, “Oh honey, please be careful.” 

“I will, mom.” He smiled at her and walked out of the house. 

He climbed into the passenger’s seat. 

“Hi Luke. How are you today?”

“I’m fine and you?”

“Good.”

“Does Ashton know I’m coming?”

Roy nodded, “He does.”

“And he’s not happy about it?” 

Roy ran his thumbs over the steering wheel, “Luke…It’s not your fault. It’s Ashton, he’s…”

“Its okay.” Luke said softly. He didn’t say another word until Roy pulled up in front of a huge house. 

“Thank you, for the ride.” 

Walking up to the path he knocked on the door. 

The door was thrown open to reveal a boy dressed in black skinny jeans, and a red and black plaid shirt, he was barefoot and had a small eyebrow piercing. But none of that surprised Luke. What did surprise him was his hair. It was neon green. Or the technical term would be lime green. 

“Hi, you must be Luke.” He said as he held his hand out, “I’m Michael. I’m the King of Douchebag’s best friend.”

Luke couldn’t help but smile when Michael made fun of Ashton. 

“Nice to meet you Michael. I like your hair. It’s really cool.” 

“You think so? I don’t get many compliments on it. I had it neon pink last week.” 

Luke’s smile widened, “Cool. Wish I could have seen it.” 

“I can show you! I have pictures! My hair was also blue at one point!” He grabbed Luke by the arm and pulled him inside.

Luke looked around at the huge house. There was a staircase in front of them. On the second floor was a railing, Ashton was leaning on it heavily, beer bottle between his fingers.

“Ashton! You’re boyfriend is here!” Michael shouted. 

Ashton scoffed and mumbled, “Boyfriend.”

A little louder he said, “What do you want me to do about it?”

Michael frowned as he looked up at his friend, “Spend time with him!”

“You can entertain him for me. I have things to do.”

He pushed himself up off the railing and began walking to his room. 

“Aw c’mon, Ash! Don’t be a douchebag!” 

They heard a door close. 

“I’m sorry about him,” Michael began as he turned to Luke. “He wasn’t always like this.” 

Luke didn’t know what to do or say, so he just grinned. 

“Ash, will have to warm up to you.” Michael pinched one of the blonde’s cheek, “You’re just too cute!” 

Luke blushed. 

“Now, about those pictures.” He lead Luke into the living room where they sat down on the couch. 

Michael took his phone out of his pocket and began sliding his thumb across the screen. 

“Here,” He handed his phone to Luke. 

Luke looked at the picture of a smiling Michael with his hair fuchsia. He looked up at Michael and then down at the picture, trying to decipher which one was better. 

Michael laughed and said, “Here.” He swiped his finger across the screen. 

It was almost the same as the one before, but this time his hair was electric blue. 

“Um…” Luke said as began thinking again. He flipped back to fuchsia Michael. 

“I think I like your green hair the best, but the blue comes in second, then fuchsia.”

“You have good tastes, Luke!”

It was quiet for a moment before Michael said, “I know Ashton is hard to deal with.” 

Luke resisted rolling his eyes. 

“But the fame has changed him. It’s all gone to his head. He used to be the one of the most nicest people I know.”

‘Ashton? Nice? No way.’ Luke thought.

“You seem like a really nice guy, Luke. Hopefully you can get to him. Because no one else can.” 

Luke thought about what the green haired boy had just told him. 

“I’ll try my best.” 

Michael smiled at him. “Thank you. Want to watch a movie?”

“Sure.” Luke nodded. 

“I’ll go try to get grumpy pants out of his room.” Michael jumped up and disappeared upstairs. 

Michael didn’t knock. He just walked right in. He picked up a stray pillow off the floor and walked over to the lump of blankets on the bed. It groaned, “Fuck you.”

“Get up!” 

“Why?”

“Because there is a very sweet boy waiting downstairs for you!” 

Ashton sat up in bed, “Sweet? Sweet! Yeah, right!” 

“I don’t know what you have against him. Is it because he’s nice and kind, and innocent, and – and just a teddy bear? Is it because he’s everything you’re not?” 

Ashton was silent. 

“Be downstairs in five minutes or else I’m coming back with a bucket of ice water.” Michael stormed out. 

Luke was still in the same spot where Michael left him. He looked so small on the huge couch. 

“You can, like, move around, you know. You’re not a prisoner.” 

“Oh, right.” Luke stood up with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his light gray zip up hoodie. 

“Want anything eat or drink?”

“I would love something to drink.” 

“Hopefully we have something other than beer.” Michael half-smiled. 

He came back with a can of cherry coke. He handed it Luke. 

“Want something to eat?”

Luke shook his head, “No thanks.” 

“I’m fixing you something anyway. You’re nothing but skin and bones.”

Michael went back into the kitchen. He came back a few minutes later with a huge bowl of popcorn. 

“What do you want to watch?” 

Luke shrugged, “I don’t care. You pick.”

Michael finally chose a movie, it being Liar Liar.

They settled down on the couch. Ashton trudged in five minutes into the movie. 

He looked down at Luke, “Move over.”

Luke moved from the left corner of the couch and sat beside Michael. Ashton plopped down where Luke had been sitting. Michael rolled his eyes. It made him so angry of how Ashton treated people. It was disgusting. But no matter what Michael will stick by Ashton’s side. It’s what best friends did. 

Michael picked up a single piece of popcorn and flicked it at Ashton. 

“Fucking quit it.” Grumbled Ashton. 

Michael nudged Luke, winking at him. “Nope.” He threw another piece. 

“You want me to fucking come down here and when I do you irritate the fuck out of me!” 

“I’m just messing with you, man. Calm down.” Michael told him. 

Luke was so uncomfortable. It was getting harder and harder to concentrate on the movie with Ashton so close to him. 

Michael held the bowl of popcorn to him. Luke suddenly felt very self-conscious. He wrapped his arms around his middle and politely declined. 

“You’re so skinny, though. Look at you!” Michael said, a smile on his lips. 

Luke couldn’t help but to smile at that. Calum was always telling him how skinny he is. 

“I love food. I eat plenty.” Luke grinned. 

“You are just too cute!” Michael almost squealed. “Isn’t he cute Ash?”

Ashton sat slumped in his spot on the couch with his arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face. 

“Why don’t we,” Michael began as he picked up the remote. “Pause the movie and play 20 questions.” 

“Okay Luke. Favorite color?”

“Blue.”

“Ashton?”

“You know my favorite color.” He grumbled. 

“Yes, I know your favorite color, but Luke doesn’t!”

“Red!”

“Favorite singer?” 

“Josh Ramsay.” Luke answered.

“Ashton?”

“How is this twenty questions? You’re just asking random shit while we answer.”

“You two need to get to know each other! So, Ashton?”

“I don’t have a favorite. I like a lot.”

Michael nodded, “Okay, how old are you?”

“17.”

Ashton whipped his head around to look at the blonde, “Are you fucking serious? You’re a minor?” 

“I’ll be 18 in July. It’s just two months away.” Mumbled Luke as he looked down and played his hands. 

“You’re just two years apart then. It’s okay.” Michael told him. “Ashton just turned 20. Anyway, back to the game. Luke do you have a job? Besides being Ashton’s boyfriend?”

“Um, no.”

“What do you want to do with your life? Because I know you don’t want to be stuck with Ashton forever.” Teased Michael. 

“This is stupid.” Ashton stated before Luke could answer. 

“It is not!” Michael argued. 

“Can we just watch the movie?” Ashton asked. 

“Sure.” Michael said disappointed, as he picked up the remote and pressed play. 

“I don’t care about this fag.” Ashton mumbled softly, but Luke heard it. 

If Luke could dig himself a nice deep hole, he would gladly fall into it and stay there forever. Back in High School people would make fun of him and Calum, because they were two the few people that were openly gay. Luke hated it with a passion; the teasing. 

When he and Calum graduated he thought it was over; the name-calling. And here he is letting this jerk degrade him and make him feel like nothing. 

Luke shrunk even deeper into himself, tightening his hold around himself. He wished Calum were here. Calum would probably jump on Ashton, pulling his hair and try to hit him. Then he would wrap his arms around Luke in a tight hug until Luke felt better. 

Luke and Calum have been best friends since the womb. Their mothers were good friends. The two boys have been inseparable forever. They were best friends, more like brothers. Calum was one of the most important people in Luke’s life and vice versa. 

Luke was tempted to reach into the pocket of jeans and pull out his phone to text the Kiwi boy. But he didn’t want to be rude even though Ashton was rudest person in all of Australia, maybe even the world. 

“After the movie do you want to go out to eat with us, Luke?” Michael asked. 

Luke wanted to scream, ‘NO,’ but this is his job. He’s supposed to spend time with Ashton, but easier said than done. 

“Um, sure.” 

Michael smiled at him, “Cool. We can get to know each other better.” 

Luke liked Michael. He really did. He was nice and Luke really hoped that one day they could be good friends. 

After the movie they all slipped into their shoes and left. 

“Let’s walk. It’ll be good the paps to see you two.” Michael suggested. 

He gently pushed Luke into Ashton’s side, making Luke let out a small squeak, then Michael put Ashton’s arm around Luke’s waist. 

“There,” He said standing back to admire his handy work. “Fucking adorable. Alright, c’mon let’s go!”

Ashton’s scowl never left his face the whole time to the diner. The two boys stayed in the same position Michael had put them in. 

Michael walked a bit in front of them. 

Luke wanted to say something to Ashton, anything. He didn’t mind silence sometimes but not this silence. This silence is uncomfortable and he just wanted to scream. 

“Um, where are we going?” Luke asked. 

Ashton glanced down at him for a second before turning his attention back to the street.

“A diner not far from my house.” 

“Oh.” Luke said, not really knowing what else to say. 

When they stopped outside a small diner Michael announced, “Okay, well you two have fun! I have to go help my mom!” 

“You ass! You did this on purpose.” Ashton accused. 

Michael just smiled, “Bye guys. I’ll get your number from Roy, Luke. I’ll send ya text! See you later, Ash.” 

He walked down the street. 

Ashton was absolutely fuming. He was now stuck with this stupid cocksucker. 

Luke’s heart seemed to beat faster and faster as he watched Michael disappear down the street. Being around Ashton wasn’t that bad when Michael was around. 

“Come on.” Ashton dragged the blonde inside the diner. 

Walking into the diner was like going back in time to the 50’s. Luke half-expected to see Marty Mcfly pop up somewhere. The floor was black and white checkered tile, the booths and chairs had fake red leather on the seats, there was even a jukebox in the far right corner, and vinyl hung up on the walls here and there. There were some old black and white pictures of singers and actors too. 

Luke grinned. He thought the place was cute and cozy. Ashton pulled him towards the back where they sat down in a round booth. 

A young waitress walked up to them. She wore white tennis shoes and a small light pink waitress dress, with a white apron tied around her waist. Her hair was blonde and naturally curly, which was tied up in a ponytail. 

“Hi, my name is Joanna and I’ll be your waitress today. What can I get you to drink?”

Ashton leaned on the table, “My name’s Ashton.”

She just smiled at him before looking to Luke, “What can I get you?”

“Water.” Luke said shyly. 

“And what can I get you?” She looked to the actor. 

“I would love a coke, but I can think of a few other things you can get me.” He said in a suggestive tone. 

Joanna frowned, “I hate people like you. You’re disgusting. How can you do this? Especially in front of your boyfriend!”

Looking to Luke she laid a hand on his arm, “Oh sweetheart, you can do much better than this jerk.” 

Luke didn’t know what to say. He just bit his lip ring and looked down. 

“Um,” He shook his head trailing off. 

“Can we order?” Ashton said. Luke looked over at him. He now had placed his chin in his hand as his elbow rested on the table. He glared at Luke.

Luke didn’t do anything!

“Yeah,” Joanna said rudely, “Sure. What do you want?”

“Cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate shake.” Ashton said. 

She wrote it down on her little notepad.

“And you, sweetheart?” Her tone softened. She waited for Luke to answer.

“Uh, the same.” 

“Okay. Be right back with your drinks.” As she left she placed a hand on Luke’s shoulder and gave it a small loving squeezes. 

“Thanks a fucking lot.” Ashton said, leaning back in the booth. 

“I didn’t do anything.” Luke tried to defend himself, but he knew it was pointless when it comes to Ashton. 

“I could have fucked her tonight if it weren’t for you.” 

“I didn’t even say anything! And besides you’re not supposed to sleeping around anyway. I have to make sure you don’t anything stupid.” Luke said, his frustration coming out. 

“Fuck you. You don’t know anything.” 

“I know you’re a real jerk, you love having sex with strangers and drinking. Both will get you a ticket into rehab.

“You don’t know me.” Ashton challenged. 

Luke leaned on the table, “Well, that magazine that woman is reading over by the window gives me a pretty good idea.” 

Ashton looked over by the window and sure enough a woman had a People’s magazine in her hands. On the cover was Ashton with a blonde girl. He had a black eye and cut above his eyebrow. The headline saying, “Ashton Irwin gets into another fight?” 

Squinting his eyes he read the smaller print underneath it, “Is he afraid of commitment?”

Ashton, for the first time in his entire life, is at a loss for words. 

 

After eating they went back to Ashton’s and Luke asked if he could drive him home. He didn’t want to call and ask Roy. Roy was a nice man and didn’t want to bother him. 

Ashton drove him home, much to his annoyance. When he pulled up in the driveway they saw Roy’s car parked out front. 

“Why is Roy here?” Ashton asked. 

Luke shrugged. 

“Want to come in and see?”

Ashton shut the engine off and got out of the car. He followed Luke up to the driveway and waited impatiently as Luke fumbled his with key for a moment. 

In the living room Liz sat on the couch while Roy sat on the edge of the recliner. 

“Hey, honey!” Liz said as they walked in.

“Hi mom.” Luke walked over and kissed her cheek. 

“Roy.” He nodded.

“What are you doing here?” Ashton asked. 

“You must be Ashton.” Liz said getting to her feet. “Call me Liz. It’s nice to meet you.” She held her hand out. 

Ashton took her hand, but didn’t meet her eyes. 

“Pleasure. Roy, what’s going on?”

“Well, you know your break is coming to an end.”

Ashton nodded. 

“And you have to go back to America to start filming again. I think it would be best if Luke came along.” 

“What?” Luke and Ashton said in unison.

“No fucking way!” Ashton shouted. 

Liz reached over and smacked in on the back of his head. 

“You don’t talk like that in my home!”

Ashton ignored her. 

“Roy, no way!”

“It’s for the best, Ashton. You two haven’t been seen together enough. And if you bring Luke along it will make it look like you two don’t want to be separated and are madly in love.” 

“That doesn’t make sense!”

“When do we leave?” Luke asked, already knowing he really doesn’t have a say in this. It’s probably written in the contract somewhere. 

Before Roy could reply Ashton turned to Luke and yelled, “You’re not going!” 

“He is going, Ashton, whether you like it or not.” 

“This isn’t fair!” 

“Michael will be coming too. He told me that he adores Luke. I do too. He’s a really nice boy. You need someone like him in your life.” 

“This isn’t even real! I feeling nothing for that little faggot!” 

“Excuse me? What did you just call my son? I will have you know,” Liz began walking towards the actor, anger evident on her face. 

Luke held her back, “Mom, mom, mom! It’s okay.”

“No, it is not! He has no right to talk to you like that!” 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s okay. I’m okay.” Luke said as he slowly backs her into the kitchen. He gently sat her down at the kitchen table. He went to get her a glass of water. 

“Does he always talk to you like that? Is that why you came home so upset the other night?”

Luke said say anything and he thanked God his back was turned to her so she couldn’t see his face. 

“He does, doesn’t he?” Liz’s voice wavered. “You’re not going with him! Do you hear me? I will not allow this.”

Luke sat the glass of water down on the table and kneeled on the floor beside her. He took her hands in his own. 

“Mom, it’s going to be okay. I can do this.” 

Liz cupped her son’s cheek and stroked her thumb over his skin. 

“Baby, he insulted you in there. I can only imagine what else he’s said.” 

Liz flashed back to when the boys were in high school. Luke and Calum came home beaten and bruised too many times to count. And no matter how many times she and Joy went up to the school, the school never did a thing. Both boys broke down one day, not being able to take it any longer and told their moms what the football team calls them.  
The team only picked on them because they were gay. It angered the two women to no end. 

“I’ll be okay. This is just for a few months. We need the money.” 

Luke’s dad was no longer around; his older brothers were both in college in which Liz was paying for. Luke wanted to help his mother with the bills.

Liz wrapped her arms around her son’s neck and cried. 

“You’re my baby. Mine! I’m supposed to be taking care of you not the other way around. Just promise me that you’ll come home the same sweet and innocent boy you are now. Promise me you’ll take care of yourself.” 

“I promise mom,” he smiled. “I need to get back in there and talk to Roy.”

She released him and covered her face with his hands. Luke got up and kissed her head before walking back to the living room. Ashton was sitting on the edge of the couch while Roy stood to the side. 

“Everything okay?” Roy asked, having heard Liz crying. 

Luke nodded. 

“To answer your question from earlier we will be leaving at the end of the week, on Sunday morning. Our flight leaves at 6:30. I suggest you start packing. Come on Ashton.” On the way out Roy patted Luke on the back and gave him a small smile. 

When they left Luke leaned against the door and slid down. It finally hit him that he was going to have to leave his mom and Calum for months. And in those months he was going to have to spend almost every minute of it with Ashton. He really didn’t know how he was going to survive this. 

 

When Ashton went home he threw himself on his bed and called Michael. 

“Hey buddy, how was your date?” Michael teased.

“Fuck you. You left me alone with him.”

“He’s great! I don’t know why you hate him.”

“He’s coming to America with us.” Ashton said threw clenched teeth.

“Really? That’s awesome! We’re going to have a lot of fun!”

“Says you. You weren’t forced into a fake relationship with the same sex.”

“I wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with the same sex.” Laughed Michael.

Ashton face-palmed, “You know what I mean. It would be like you being in a fake relationship with a girl.”

Michael made a face of pure disgust even though Ashton couldn’t see it. “I guess so. But it’s not like you have to have sex with him or anything.”

Ashton felt sick to his stomach at the thought of fucking Luke. 

“Fucking sick!” He snarled. 

Michael sighed heavily. He wished Ashton could be nice and joke with him like he used to. “I’m gonna get to sleep.”

Ashton didn’t say another word; he hung up, his arm holding his phone falling to the bed. He made himself get up and walk downstairs. He hadn't wanted to get up, but need a beer. 

 

Calum came over the next morning. Luke had his suitcase opened on his bed. He was putting his clothes in it. 

“Hey, buddy. Where ya going?” He plopped down on the bed. 

“America.” Was all Luke said as he folded a t-shirt. 

“America! Why? When?”

“Because Ashton’s break is over and he has to go make a sequel to his shitty movie. I’m leaving Sunday.” 

“This is so sudden!” 

“Tell me about it.” Luke said, “I just found out last night.” 

“Stop packing so much shit! There will never be enough room for me in there!” Calum exclaimed as he pointed to Luke’s half-filled bag. 

Luke gave him a small grin. “I wish I could take you.”

Luke was about to grab his extra pair of converse up off the floor but stopped. He ran his fingers through his hair. 

“I’m scared, Cal.” He whispered.

Calum got up off the bed and hugged him. 

“I’m going to be away from you and mom for almost five months. I have to be with Ashton almost the whole time. I don’t know how I’m going to do this.” His voice cracked. 

“It’s going to be okay. You can call me. And text me every chance you get, okay? We can Skype too.” 

“It won’t be the same.” 

“I know. It’ll go by fast.” 

Luke knew it wouldn’t, but he nodded anyway, for Calum’s sake. 

“Your packing is shit! Let me do it!” Calum said once they pulled away from one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Your thoughts?~


	4. I don't wanna play this game no more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Okay, even though I have nine chapters written, chapter five needs ALOT of work. So, I'll update when I can!~

On Sunday morning Liz drove Luke and Calum to the airport. 

“Do you see Roy, honey?” Liz asked once they stepped inside. 

Luke looked around; it wasn’t as crowded as he thought it would be. He spotted Michael’s green hair on the far side of the room. 

“Yeah.”

“Want me to walk you over to them?” Liz asked. She really doesn’t think she could face Ashton again. She would freak out on him for talking to her son the way he had. 

“No,” Luke shook his head. “You can’t walk me over either, Cal. You’ll try to beat Aston up.” 

Calum shrugged with an innocent smile, “You’re right.” 

Liz pulled her son into her arms. She sobbed into his shoulder. 

“My baby’s going so far away!” 

“Mom, I -”

“You’ve never been away from me more than a week and even then you just stayed with Calum!” 

“It will go by fast, mom. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

After releasing each other Luke was attacked by Calum. 

“I love you, man.” Calum hugged the blonde tightly. 

“Love you too.” Luke held onto Calum for dear life. 

“Contact me somehow everyday. If you don’t,” Calum sobbed, “I’ll kick your ass.” 

Luke let out a watery chuckle, “I promise I will.” 

After a few more, “I love you’s” and “See you soon’s” Luke grabbed his suitcase and guitar case and went off to where he saw Michael. 

Michael smiled when he saw him. His smile fell a little when he noticed the blonde’s tears. 

He patted the younger boy’s shoulder. 

“Don’t worry, dude. You’ll have a blast. I’ll make sure of it.” 

Luke managed to give him a small watery smile. 

“Ashton’s in the restroom and Roy is making a phone call. Have you ever been on a plane before?”

Luke shook his head. 

“Are you nervous? It’s not so bad. Roy will most likely make you and Ash sit together. Good news is, you can sit by the window. Ashton doesn’t like it. It makes him nervous.” 

Was that really supposed to make Luke feel better?

Michael noticed Luke’s guitar case. He smiled, “I didn’t know you play!”

“Yeah. Since I was little.”

“I play too!” Michael pointed the to the wall not even three feet from them, where suitcases and bags are piled up against it. 

“Mine’s somewhere buried underneath all that shit. We should play together sometimes.”

Luke smiled, “We should.” 

Ashton walked over to them wiping his hands on his pants. 

“Oh good,” He said sarcastically. “You’re here.” 

“Um,” Michael said loudly. “We should go ahead and go through all the bullshit they make you do at airports.” 

Luke was suddenly very nervous again. He had never done customs before. 

“Don’t worry, Luke. Just stay with me, okay?” Michael told him. 

Going through customs nearly took an hour. Luke thanked God when it was over. 

On the plane Luke followed Ashton down the narrow row. When he looked up Ashton seemed to be waiting for him to get in first. Michael was right. Ashton doesn’t like sitting by the window. Michael and Roy sat across from them and two rows back. 

Luke sat down by the window and Ashton sat next to him. He immediately leaned his head back and closed his eyes. 

Luke took his Ipod out and put his earphones in. As music began playing he looked out the window. After the plane took off Luke lost himself in the music. 

After listening to a whole album Luke felt someone thump his ear. He winced and pulled the buds from his ears. Looking at Ashton with question. 

Ashton rolled his eyes, “I said, what are you listening to?” 

“Oh, All Time Low.”

“My Ipod charger broke, so my mine’s dead.”

Luke put one bud in his ear and held the other one out to Ashton. The actor hesitantly took it and put it in his ear. They had to scoot a little closer because if they hadn’t then the earphones wouldn’t be long enough. 

And that’s how they spent the next two hours. 

Luke took the other bud out and said, “You can take it.” 

He offered the actor his Ipod. 

“Why?”

“I’m tired. Just going to try and get some sleep.” 

Ashton took it from him and began scrolling through the Artists. 

Luke surprisingly fell asleep with ease. Maybe it was the fact that Ashton hadn’t been rude to them since they got on the plane. Maybe things would be different. 

Luke was jostled awake. He groaned and opened his eyes, his head lying on something warm. Glancing up he saw it was Ashton’s shoulder. His face burned, especially because Aston awoke the same time he did. 

Luke quickly sat up, his blush still on his face. 

He cleared his throat, “Uh, sorry.” 

Ashton didn’t say anything. Luke didn’t miss the scowl on his face though. 

Over the speakers the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen we are experiencing some turbulence. Nothing to worry about.” 

The plane shook again and a hand landed on top of Luke’s. The blonde looked over to Ashton. 

“If you tell anyone, I’ll end you. Do you understand?” 

“It’s okay. You’re afraid of planes-”

Ashton slapped his other hand over Luke’s mouth.

“Shut up.” 

He removed his hand from the boy’s mouth. 

“It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes.”

“Yeah, well not me.” 

“I’m afraid of a lot of things. Like, losing my family, I’m scared that I’ll fail as a musician and let Calum down, Simple Plan breaking up, and the extinction of Penguins.”

Luke could have sworn that he saw Ashton’s mouth twitch, as if he wanted to smile. 

As the plane was hit with more turbulence Ashton squeezed Luke’s hand. 

“Don’t say a fucking word about this. I swear to you, I’ll…”

“End me. I know.” Luke said with a hint of irritation in his voice. 

“This doesn’t change anything between us either. I’m not gay and I never will be. And I still hate you.” 

“Good to know.” Luke Muttered as he turned his attention back to the window. 

It was dark when they landed a little while later. Ashton had ripped his hand from Luke’s not too long before. After getting their bags and driving to a hotel it was well passed 10 o’clock. 

“Alright boys,” Roy said walking up to them. They had been sitting on the couches in the in the lobby. Luke tried his best not to fall asleep. 

“We have two rooms, it’s all they have tonight. Ashton, Luke, you’ll be sharing a room.” He handed them each a keycard. 

“And Michael, you’ll be sharing with me.” 

“Please tell me there’s two beds.” Ashton asked. 

“There is. I don’t think you two have been in a relationship that long to share a bed.” Roy joked and Michael laughed. Luke blushed and Ashton fumed as he roughly grabbed his bag up off the floor and stormed over to the elevator.

Roy winked at Luke, the blonde smiled at him before they followed him. They were all on the same floor, for that, Luke is forever greatful. 

“See ya later man,” Michael said to Ashton as they stepped off the elevator. “Night Luke.”

Luke said goodnight to the colored haired boy and elderly man before following Ashton to their shared room. 

The room had a glass sliding door, which most likely led out to a balcony on the far wall, a nice cozy chair in the corner; two twin-sized beds with a small night stand separating them. On the nightstand were a lamp and a telephone. A dresser with a large screen TV was on the wall opposite of their beds. 

Ashton walked over to the bed by the window and dropped his luggage at the end of it and swan-dived on it. He threw an arm over his eyes. 

Luke walked over to the other bed and sat down at the edge of it. He wished he could call his mom or Calum, but the time difference is…what is the time difference?

“Hey, Ashton?”

“What?” Ashton asked, not taking his arm away from his face.

“Do you know the time difference from here and home?”

“It’s a big fucking difference. Does that answer your question?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Luke said quietly. 

Ashton got up. His hands moved to the zipper of his jeans. He stopped his movements and looked at Luke. He was looking at his phone. 

“I would tell you to look away,” Luke looked up at him with curiosity, “but I’m sure you won’t. Go in the bathroom until I’m done.”

“D-Done?” Luke asked.

Ashton rolled his eyes, “I’m changing, you sick bastard.”

“I-I didn’t….” Luke shook his head. 

“GO!” Luke scrambled off the bed and into the bathroom. Inside he leaned heavily on the door. This was going to be a long five months. 

Maybe a shower would help. He stripped his clothing and used the shampoo and conditioner the hotel provided. It smelled like coconuts. 

When he was finished he wrapped a towel around his waist and walked out into the room.   
Ashton was lying on his bed, flipping through the TV stations. He was in nothing but a pair of boxers. 

The actor glanced over at him and sent him a look of disgust. 

“You knew I was changing and you had to have a cold shower to calm yourself down?”

“No! It’s nothing like that!” Luke said as he grabbed his suitcase and hauled it up on the bed. Unzipping it he pulled out a pair red and black plaid pajama pants and a white t-shirt. 

“Oh, so, it’ didn’t work? You had to jerk off to the image of me getting undressed?”

“For your information, NO! And why so interested in me jerking off?” Luke spat. 

That made Ashton quiet. Suddenly their phones went off at the same time. Ashton grabbed his phone from the nightstand while Luke took his off his bed. 

It was a notification from Instagram. Clicking on the app he saw someone tagged him in a picture. Luke’s heart dropped into his stomach when he saw the picture Michael had tagged him and Ashton in. 

They were on the plane fast asleep, Luke’s head was resting on Ashton’s shoulder while Ashton’s rested on Luke’s. Underneath the picture Michael wrote, “The lovebirds fell asleep on the plane ;) #Lashton.”

“I’m going to fucking kill him.” Vowed Ashton. 

Luke just sat his phone back down on his bed and went into the bathroom to change. Ashton was watching some horrible reality TV show; Luke had no interest in watching. He grabbed his guitar case and walked out onto the balcony and made sure the door was closed behind him before sitting on the black iron chair. Pulling out his guitar he strummed a few chords. 

“I’m staring at the clock, wondering why I’m still here. And my head’s about to pop, you I’m thinking that you best stay clear.” He began singing Simple Plan’s anywhere else. 

He felt so alone, yes Michael and Roy were great, but they were basically strangers. He met Roy just a week ago and Michael only a few days before. And Ashton? Ashton was a horrible human being. And Luke was going to be stuck with him for five months. 

“Oh, how did I get stuck in this predicament, I don’t know. I want to throw this repition out the window.”

Luke wondered how Ashton got to be who he is. How can someone be so cruel?

Luke finished the song and played two more before realizing just how exhausted he is. Ashton was still watching that garbage when Luke came in. He put his guitar case down beside his bed and crawled in his bed. He turned away from the actor. 

No words were spoken. 

Ashton watched TV for another hour before shutting it off, much to Luke’s relief.  
It took a long to for the blonde to fall asleep.

The next day Luke awoke to someone jumping on his bed. He shot up and saw it was Michael. He was lying on his side, with his head resting in his hand. 

He smiled, “How’d you sleep?” 

“Uh, fine. I guess.” He glanced over at the actor and saw him sitting up in bed, groaning. Roy sat at the end of his bed. 

“Look at this boys.” He said as he handed Ashton a magazine. Luke got up and looked over Ashton’s shoulder, making sure to keep his distance so that Ashton wouldn’t chew him out. 

It was a picture of Ashton and Luke walking down the street. Ashton’s arm was wrapped tightly around Luke’s waist.

The small article read, “Ashton Irwin, 20, was spotted in his hometown with adorable blonde. By the way Ashton has a protective grip on the boy could this be a new love interest?”

“Great!” Ashton threw the magazine roughly at Roy. “You’re getting what you wanted.” 

“Yes,” Roy nodded, “The plan is working, but look.” He flipped back to the picture of Luke and Ashton. 

“Ashton, you look so angry, and Luke my boy, you look terrified. You need to work on this. You two are supposed to be in love or falling in love. Ashton, you don’t need to be at the set until tomorrow morning. I want you and Luke to walk around the city a bit.”

Ashton groaned and fell back onto his bed. 

“Hold hands, put your arm around him like you did before, smile, laugh, kiss, I don’t care.” 

Ashton sat up quickly, “Kiss? No fucking way!” 

“He’s right, Roy. No kissing.” Michael said, still laying on Luke’s bed. 

Ashton sent his friend a very small smile but it fell when Michael added, “It’s too soon for kissing. They’ve been dating not even a week!” 

“Fuck you Michael!” 

Michael smirked, “And you say you’re not gay.” 

Luke chuckled. Ashton picked up a pillow and whacked him in the stomach with it to silence him. 

Luke made an, “OOF,” sound. 

“Enough of that.” Roy grabbed the pillow from the boy. “Get dressed, both of you.”

After Luke threw on a pair of black skinny jeans, his converse, and a loose light gray t-shirt he grabbed his phone and wallet. Ashton dressed in black jeans, black vans, a black bandana around his head and a black t-shirt that said, “The Strokes.”

Luke’s phone dinged, so he looked at it. He had a message from Calum.

I saw the picture you were tagged in on Insta – CH

Luke quickly replied back.

I know and we’re on the cover a mag – LH

Damn! You’re getting popular! – CH

G2G, I have a date. Wish me luck – LH

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! ;) – CH

Luke put his phone in his pocket. 

“Let’s get this over with.” Ashton said to Luke. “Come on Michael.”

“Oh, I’m not going.” He rolled over on his back. “This is a date. I would totally be the third wheel.”

“Fine!” Ashton said in a childish way. “And you’re not off the hook from Instagram!”

“What about instagram?” Roy asked. He may be old, but he had to keep up to date with such things. 

Michael scrolled through his phone and showed Roy the picture. Roy took the phone from him and smiled. 

“This is excellent! This will get out and it will be posted everywhere. Good job Michael.” He said handing the boy’s phone back to him. 

In the elevator, as they got down to the last three floors Luke asked, “Do you want to hold hands or…?”

“I don’t even want to be in the same building as you.” Ashton grumbled.

Luke looked to the side. How can somebody be this rude?

Ashton grabbed is hand once they elevator stopped at the lobby. They walked out. Luke let Ashton lead him through the lobby and out the doors. 

“Where are we going?”

“I’m fucking starving.” 

Luke kept thinking back to Roy telling him and Ashton that they need to act like they’re in love. Easier said than done. He had no idea what being in love felt like. And how was he supposed to act like he was in love with Ashton of all people?

Ashton sighed heavily, “Okay. We need to smile, at everything. Act like you want me. Well, you do want me, so this will be easy for you.”

“I don’t.”

“What?” Ashton looked at him.

“I don’t want you. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I want every guy I see. I’m not happy about this deal either, but I need the money. So, we’re stuck with each other for the next five months. You better get used to me being your boyfriend.” Luke told him with a stern look. 

“You little shit, you can’t talk to me like -”

Luke cupped his face and with a big smile he said, “Don’t look so angry, sweetheart. People are taking pictures of us. It will ruin your image, well, ruin it even more than you already have.” 

Ashton averted his eyes and sure enough there was a man with a nice, expensive looking camera taking their picture.

Ashton plastered a huge, fake smile on his face.

“Smart move, babe. Let’s go.” He grabbed Luke’s hand and pulled him down the street. 

They found a little whole-in-the-wall diner and sat in the back. 

“Do you think we lost him?” Luke asked. 

“I don’t know. Paps are sneaky little shits.” 

After a few quiet moments of looking at the menu Luke heard Ashton curse. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“As much as I hate to say it, hold my hand.”

Luke held the actor’s hand across the table.

“I have some admirers in here.”

Just then two girls walk over to them. They were an inch or two different in height. One had blonde hair and brown eyes and the other had red hair with green eyes. 

“Hi. Ashton?” The older one said.

Ashton smiled at them, “Yes? What can I do for you?”

“Can you sign this?” The girls each held out a napkin. 

Ashton released Luke’s hand.

“Of course I can.”

He scribbled his signature on both.

The girls looked to Luke. 

“Are you Ashton’s boyfriend? The one we saw in the magazines and on Instagram?”

Luke smiled, “Yeah. That’s me.”

“Can we have your autograph too?”

Luke was taken aback. 

“You want my autograph?”

He waited for them to nod.

“Why?”

“Because your Ashton Irwin’s boyfriend! You two are so cute together!” They giggled. 

“Uh, sure.” 

The blonde one handed him a pen and he scrawled his name underneath Ashton’s. 

“Are you in love?” One asked them both. 

“No.” Ashton said and Luke looked to him. The girls’ smiles slowly fell.

“But I think, one day we will be.” He smiled to Luke and Luke couldn’t help but to notice what a great actor he is. 

Luke smiled at the girls and nodded. 

“Aw.” They said.

“Goodbye Ashton, goodbye Luke. We hope you two get married and have lots of little Lashton babies!” The blonde said and they ran off. 

Ashton sighed exasperatedly once they had gone.

“Lashton?” Luke asked.

“I guess it’s our couple name. You know, like, Brangelina.”

“Oh right, Michael put that under our picture. So, the word on us is popular then?”

Ashton nodded. 

The ‘couple’ stayed out for another two hours before deciding to go back to their room. Thankfully no paps tried to stop them. 

Michael was laying on Luke’s bed watching TV when they returned.

“How was the date?” He grinned. 

‘He is enjoying this way too much’, thought Luke. 

“I’m going to shower.” Ashton said shoving passed Luke and going into the bathroom. 

“Join me, Luke.” Michael said, patting the spot next to him.

Luke slowly walked over and crawled onto the bed. He lied on his side, facing the color haired boy. 

“I know Ashton isn’t the easiest person to get along with. But I’m really hoping you can change things.”

“Why? Why do you think I can change him?” Luke didn’t understand why Michael and Roy thought he could do this.

“Because, you’re just what he needs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Big, big, things ahead! AH! I'm so excited!~


	5. 'Cause I feel so damn lost, And it comes with a cost of being alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~I have written over 10 pages for this story today and still writing! So far, it has over 30,000 words and I'm not even close to being finished!~

The next morning Roy woke them up.

“Come on boys, you need to get up. Ashton you need to be at the set by 7.”

Luke cracked his eyes open and looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was 5:30! 

“I’m up! I’m up!” Ashton yelled. 

Luke rolled onto his back and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. It was going to be a long day. After getting dressed they walked out into the hall. Michael was just coming out his and Roy’s room yawning.

“Mornin’.” 

Luke was still too sleepy to answer. 

Downstairs they got breakfast in the hotel restaurant. Luke grabbed an apple and a bottle of water. It was too early to be hungry. Roy drank black coffee while Michael had waffles. Ashton ate a banana and drank some coffee too. 

It was quiet at the table, Luke noted. ‘Everyone is still tired.’ He thought. 

The next few minutes went by in blur as they finished eating and loaded up in the car. Roy drove. Luke was actually excited to see an actual movie set. He wondered whom he would meet and what it would be like. Ashton would be there and hopefully Luke wouldn’t have to spend too much time with him. 

They pulled up to a gate, well, sorta. It was like the things at a railroad crossing. There was a booth to the side. A man stepped out and walked over to the car. Roy rolled down his window.

“Roy Jones, Ashton Irwin and two guests.” 

The man looked through his notepad, looking up he smiled, “Yepp. Here you are. Go on ahead.” He made a gesture with his hand and another man in the booth lifted the gate. 

Roy drove on through. Looking out the window Luke saw some actors and actresses he recognized. There were movie sets and props being carried around.

Roy parked in front of a huge white building. They all got out of the car and the elderly man lead them inside. Inside was a huge movie set. It was designed to look like a spy base of some sort. People were running around like crazy. 

“Ashton!” A tall man with gray hair and a matching beard said.

“How are you?”

“It’s too fucking early, George.”

The man did his best to keep his smile, “I know. But we’re going to get a lot of work done today. It’ll be fun.” He looked to Luke, “Whose this?”

Ashton didn’t answer so Michael said, “It’s Ashton’s boyfriend, Luke.”

“Boyfriend? I didn’t know you were…Oh well, nice to meet you, Luke,” They shook hands.

“You too sir.” 

“Sir? I could get used to that. Ashton never calls me that.” He smiled at Luke.

“Can we get a move on already?” Ashton asked irritated. 

“Of course. Follow Lou, so she can do your hair.” He said and Luke knew he was struggling to keep his cool. 

Ashton followed the woman. She was very beautiful with long wavy bleached blonde hair with a tint of pink in it. She wore a very flowy black tank top with skinny blue jeans and black boots. She had a few tattoos on her wrists. 

“Go with them, Luke.” Roy ushered him. 

He followed them into a room with large mirrors along one side of the walls and around each mirror were huge light bulbs the size of baseballs. The chairs looked like the ones directors sit in. 

Ashton sat down in a chair in front of the middle mirror. 

Lou stood behind him and took off his bandanna. She noticed Luke standing against the far wall, turning to him she smiled, “You can sit down, love.” She said in a thick British accent. 

Look sat down in the chair next to Ashton.

A little girl came waddling over to him. She was adorable with blonde hair, which half of it was down, and the other was up in a ponytail. She untied Luke’s shoe and pulled at the laces. Luke smiled at her. 

“Oh, Lux.” Lou said and picked her up. 

“Sorry about her. She’s at the stage where she gets into everything!”

“It’s okay.” 

“Do you mind?” She held Lux out towards him.

Luke shook his head and she placed her in his hands. Luke sat her down on his lap. She made little noises. Luke blew out his cheeks and she giggled. 

“How have things been going Ashton?” Lou asked as she began coming his hair. 

“Just great. I have a boyfriend now, you know?” He looked over at Luke playing with baby Lux.

Lou looked to Luke and her daughter and smiled, “I didn’t know you swung that way. You two look cute together. He’s really good with Lux.”

Ashton wanted to scoff at her, but restrained himself.

“How did you two meet?”

That caught Luke’s attention. He was curious as to what the actor was going to say. 

“How did we meet?” Ashton had no idea what to say. He could just tell her they met at a party, but Luke wasn’t the type to go to parties. 

Lou nodded and grabbed a can of spray.

“It was sort of a blind date.” Luke told her.

“Oh really? That’s interesting. How long have you been together? No long, I assume since this is the first time I’m hearing about you, Luke.”

“Just a few weeks.” Ashton told her. 

“You two must have hit it off pretty fast then, huh?”

“We sure did.” Ashton smiled. 

As Lou worked on Ashton’s hair Luke saw that she had small tattoos on her fingers too. She was very pretty and her daughter was just adorable.

For the rest of the day Luke played with Lux. When night came he was disappointed when Lou came over to them and said that they had to get home. 

“Oh okay.” Luke said as he reluctantly handed the little girl back over to the woman. 

“You can see her tomorrow.” Lou tried to cheer the boy up.

Luke smiled, “Great. Can’t wait.”

“You’re really good with her.”

“Thank you.” 

She rested a hand on her shoulder and kissed his cheek, “Bye Luke. I’m really happy Ashton found you. You’re going to be good for him. I can tell.”

Luke didn’t know what to say to that, so he just grinned at her. He wished Michael was there. He had gone out with Roy to do some errands. Taking out his phone he called Calum. 

“Hey! How’s America?” 

Luke couldn’t help but to smile at hearing his friend’s voice. 

“Good. Wish you were here. I’m really lonely.”

“Awe,” Calum cooed. “I know what ya mean. I miss you and all, but I’m not really all that lonely. Liz hasn’t left me alone since you left. We went out shopping, she’s made me dinner and lunch I don’t know how many times, and I spent the night at your house last night, and we watched movies. She misses you like crazy.” 

“Poor mom. I miss her too. I can’t wait to come home.”

“I can’t believe you are going to be away from me for five months! I’m going to go crazy without my best friend!” Calum admitted.

“Same here.” Luke sighed. 

“I know I said this would go by fast, but it’s really not.” Whined Calum.

“I know.” Luke matched Calum’s whine. 

The friends talked for another few minutes before Michael and Roy came back.

“I’ll call you later, Cal.”

“You better. Bye.”

As Michael walked over to him he smiled, “Hi.”

“Hey. I’m sorry I left you. Roy needed some help.”

“I understand. I have to be wherever Ashton is anyway.”

Michael teased, “I bet that’s the best job in the world.” 

He sat down on the couch besides the blonde boy. 

“How are you holding up being away from home?”

Shrugging Luke replied, “It’s so hard. I just got off the phone with my best friend Calum. I miss him a lot and my mom too.”

“Yeah, every time I go away with Ashton I miss parents too. But you’ll get in the swing of things and you’ll be having fun in no time.”

“You think so?”

“I don’t know. You have Ashton as a boyfriend.” Michael began laughing like a maniac and Luke playfully shoved him. 

They did not get to go back to the hotel until almost 2 A.M. Luke was beyond tired and he knew Ashton was too since he’d been working all day. Luke wanted to get in bed and go to sleep, but Ashton was in the shower and that meant Luke had some alone time for a few minutes. He grabbed his guitar and went out on the balcony, leaving the door cracked open. 

Trying to keep Ashton in line and being yelled at and put down all the time was just too much for Luke. He wiped his tears away and strummed a few chords. He began to sing. 

“Can anybody hear me?   
Or am I talking to myself?  
My mind is running empty  
In the search for someone else  
Who doesn’t look right through me.  
It’s all just static in my head  
Can anybody tell me why I’m lonely like a satellite.”

Luke honestly had no one to comfort him. He was alone. Yes, Michael was nice enough, but he was Ashton’s best friend. And Roy was really sweet, but…Luke just needed someone’s shoulder to cry on. He needed Calum. 

“’Cause tonight I’m feeling like an astronaut  
Sending SOS from this tiny box  
And I lost all signal when I lifted up  
Now I’m stuck out here and the world forgot  
Can I please come down  
’Cause I’m tired of drifting around and around   
Can I please come down?”

 

Luke has had this horrible feeling of dread in his chest since he left home. No matter what he did it wouldn’t go away. It’s a constant feeling and Luke was beginning to think it would never go away. Maybe he was crazy? No. He’s perfectly normal. 

“I’m deafened by the silence  
Is it something that’s I’ve done?  
I know that there are millions  
I can’t be the only whose so disconnected  
Its so different in my head  
Can anybody tell me why I’m lonely like satellite?”

What has he done to deserve a horrible thing like being stuck with Ashton Irwin? He just wanted to help his mom with the bills. 

“’Cause tonight I’m feeling like and astronaut   
Sending SOS from this tiny box  
And I lost all signal when I lifted up  
Now I’m stuck out here and the world forgot  
Can I please come down  
‘Cause I’m tired of drifting around and around  
Can I please come down?”

What Luke didn’t know is that Roy was right outside the door, listening to his every word. Roy’s heart went out for the boy. He did feel protective of the blonde because he was still so innocent and sweet. He would just have to something about Luke being alone!

“Now I lie awake and scream in zero gravity  
And it’s starting to weigh down on me.  
Let’s abort this mission now  
Can I please come down?”

 

Roy listened a few more seconds before pulling his phone out and going down the hall to his room. He had an idea. Once he made sure Michael was nowhere to be seen he sat down on the edge of his bed and made a phone call. “Yes, can I get Australia, please?”

Meanwhile Luke was finishing up his song.

“So tonight I’m calling all astronauts  
All the lonely people that the world forgot   
If you hear my voice come pick me up  
Are you out there?  
‘Cause you’re all I’ve got!

And tonight I’m feeling like an astronaut   
Sending SOS from this tiny box  
And I lost all signal when I lifted up   
Now I’m stuck out here and the world forgot

‘Cause tonight I’m feeling like and astronaut  
Sending SOS from this tiny box  
To all the lonely people that the world forgot  
Are you out there?  
‘Cause you’re all I’ve got!

Can I please come down?  
‘Cause I’m tired of drifting around and around.”

Luke finished and took in a ragged breath before sitting his guitar down. The song had helped him a little, but the dread would not leave his chest completely. He got up to take a shower since he heard Ashton walking about their room. Maybe a shower would help. 

The next day at dinner time the three of them went out. Roy was so excited he couldn’t wait to tell Luke the news.

“Luke, I understand your birthday is coming up.”

Luke looked up from his food, which he was playing with, and nodded.

“Well,” Roy smiled. “I got you something.” 

A small smile crossed Luke’s face, “Oh, Roy, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I wanted to, Luke. Now, it should be here tomorrow evening. Well, I guess I should say ‘he’ will be here tomorrow evening.”

Before Luke could say anything Roy said, “I’m flying your friend Calum out to spend the rest of these few months with us.” 

“Are you really?” Luke asked in disbelief.

Roy nodded.

“Oh my God,” He got up and hugged Roy with his whole body. Roy chuckled and patted his back. 

“Thank you, thank you so much.” Luke felt like he could cry, he got tears of pure happiness in his eyes. He wouldn’t be alone anymore.

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you’re happy.” 

“Hey, that’s great, man.” Michael said.

Ashton didn’t say anything, just continued eating. 

The next evening Luke had to go out on ‘date’ with Ashton. Before they left Michael asked, “When’s your friend coming? Do you want me to wait in the lobby for him?”

“Um, yes please! That would be great!”

“His name is Calum, right?”

“Right.”

“What does he look like?”

“Asian!”

Michael chuckled and rolled his eyes, “Oh that will narrow it down. I’ll see you in a bit.” 

Ashton entwined his and Luke’s fingers and pulled him a bit too roughly out the door. Michael waited an hour before going down to the lobby. 

He played a game on his phone as he walked out of the elevator. He wasn’t paying attention to anyone or anything around him. He was too engrossed with his game. Well, that is until he crashed into someone, hard. He gained his balance, but dropped his phone; the other person hit the ground.

“Oh shit!” Michael cursed rubbing the sore spot on his head, “Are you alright?”

“Uh yeah,” An Australian accent said, “I’m alright.” Michael finally looked down at the boy on the ground. 

He was a thin and lanky little thing with short black hair. His skin was tan, it was more natural; he wore black skinny jeans, black and white van tennis shoes, and a black sleeveless Green Day t-shirt. On his left arm were two tattoos, one was an Indian chief’s head and the other was a beautiful bird. 

Michael was mesmerized by just how beautiful this boy was. He held out his hand and waited for the boy to take it. The boy grabbed Michael’s phone with one hand and with the other took Michael’s hand in his. Michael hauled him up.

“I really am sorry about that. I wasn’t paying attention.”

The boy smiled, the kind of smile where his whole face smiled, the corners by his eyes crinkled, and Michael could see all of his white teeth. Michael just about died.

“It’s alright. No harm done. To be honest I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going either.”

Michael wasn’t really listening, just staring.

“You’ve got a strong grip there.” The boy teased and looked at Michael’s hand still gripping his hand tightly.

Michael dropped his hand, embarrassed, “Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. You’re fine. Nice hair by the way. I like it.” 

Blushing Michael said, “Really? Thanks! I’m Michael.” He held his hand out again and he mentally slapped himself for acting so silly. But he really loved the fact that this boy liked his hair. 

“If I shake your hand will you let go this time?” The boy was still smiling. 

Michael couldn’t help but to return it. The boy shook Michael’s hand. 

“I’m Calum.” 

Michael finally broke out of lovey dovey stare. 

“Luke’s Calum?”

Calum smiled even bigger and Michael wanted to faint.

“Yes! Luke’s my best friend! Do you know where he is?”

“Calum!” They heard from behind them. 

They turned to see Luke rip his hand from Ashton’s and run towards them. Calum dropped his bags and met him in the middle. They embraced each other so tightly Michael was afraid they’d suffocate. Michael felt a weird pang in his chest. He wanted to be the one hugging Calum, which is just too strange. They’d only just met not even five minutes ago!

Luke and Calum were both crying.

“I missed you so much!” Calum cried.

“I know! It’s been so hard without you with me!”

“Never ever leave me like that again!”

“I won’t, I promise!” 

“Even though this is very touching and all, but you’re going to catch some paps attention. And as much as I hate to say this, you’re supposed to be my boyfriend. I do not want the next headlines to say my so-called boyfriend is cheating on me. That would be way too embarrassing. So, stop raping each other and get the fuck to our room.”

They turned to see Ashton glaring at them. 

“Aren’t you just full of sunshine?” Calum said and Luke laughed. 

Michael bit his lip. Calum had to be his. 

Luke grabbed Calum’s guitar case, “Let’s go.” 

Michael picked up Calum suitcase.

“You don’t have to have carry that.” Calum told him. 

Michael smiled at him, “It’s no problem.”

As long as Calum smiled at Michael like he was doing Michael would do just about anything he wanted. 

Luke grabbed hold of Calum’s arm, “Let’s go! I’m so excited you’re here! We have so much to talk about!”

Calum grinned at him, “I know!”

Inside Luke’s and Ashton’s room the blonde and Kiwi laid down on the bed. Ashton fell onto his bed and Michael sat beside him.

“How’s mom?” Luke asked. 

“Liz is great! She misses you though. Like I’ve told you before she has barely left me alone.”

Luke chuckled, “Poor mom. How’s yours doing?”

“My mom is great! She keeps complaining that Liz is trying to steal me away though. How is everything going here?”

Luke gave him a small grin, “Fine. It’s been fun. Michael,” He looked to the green haired boy. “Is lots of fun.”

Calum looked over to him, “Thanks for taking care of my Luke! I don’t know what I do if something happened to him!” 

“No problem.” Michael smiled. You just had to smile when you looked at Calum. He’s too adorable. 

Luke realized he had nothing nice to say about Ashton so he just said, “Me and Ashton are all over the magazines.”

“Yeah, I saw. Everyone back home has.” 

“Are you two using protection?” Teased Calum. 

Ashton whipped his head around, “That’s fucking sick! I’m not a fag!” 

Calum’s smile fell from his face and was replaced with a frown. Michael thought it didn’t suit Calum at all. 

“What did you say?”

“I said, ‘I’m not a fag!’” Ashton shouted. 

“You are so fucking-”

Luke slapped a hand over his best friend’s mouth to keep him saying anything to make Ashton angrier. 

“MMmmm.” His words were muffled. 

“Stop.” Luke whispered. 

Calum pried the blonde’s hand away. 

“What the hell? Does he always talk to you like that?”

“Calum.” Luke said in a warning tone. 

“Luke.” Calum said in the same tone. 

Luke pushed him, which made Calum push him back. And then Luke pushed Calum one last time. It caused Calum to his balance and as he was falling off the bed he grabbed Luke’s shirt, pulling him with him. They hit the ground with a hard thud. Michael laughed at them. 

“You dick!” Luke said. 

“You just want my dick!” Calum accused. 

“Will you two knock it off!” Ashton said. 

“What the hell is your problem?” Calum asked getting to his feet. 

“My problem is that I’m stuck in this fake relationship with this cocksucker! I can’t go out to parties, have sex or even drink without him running off to tell Roy like a little bitch! And now I have to deal with his faggot friend!”

“You have no right to talk to Luke that way! I should slap that pretty face of yours!”

“I’d like to see you try!” 

“Challenge accepted!” Calum began to stomp over to the actor, but Luke grabbed him up by the waist and slung him around. 

At the same time Michael was standing in front of Ashton on the other side of the room, blocking his path towards the other two. There is no way he would let Ashton or anyone else hurt Calum. 

“No Calum!” Luke pleaded. 

“Luke. Let. Me. Go! I’m going to kill that bastard!” He fought against his friend’s tight grasp. 

“Ha! You couldn’t if you tried, you pussy!”

“Ashton, stop!” Michael said sternly. 

“What’s it to you anyway?” Ashton spat.

“Luke is my friend and hopefully Calum will be too soon. And you’re my best friend, Ash. Just please, stop.” 

Ashton sighed, “I need a drink.” 

He shoved passed Michael and then hit Calum’s shoulder with his on the way out. Calum stumbled back. 

“How do you put up with that dick?” Calum asked Luke. 

“I manage.”

The three boys went back to talking. Well, Luke and Calum talked and Michael listened to Calum and watched him as if he were one of the Seven Wonders of the World. 

When it got close to 10 o’clock Calum announced he was exhausted.

“That’s jet lag for you.”

“My heart, my heart is so jet lagged!” Calum sang loudly.

Luke shoved him playfully.

“Oh not this again.” 

“Roy said he got a room for himself. So, Calum you can room with me.” Michael stated.

Calum grinned at him, “Sure! Sounds great! We can get to know each other better!”

‘Oh yes, God yes.’ Michael thought. 

“I guess I should go find Ashton.” Luke said as he stood. 

“I think this place has a bar in the lobby.” Michael informed him as he picked up Calum’s suitcase. 

“I’ll go check it out. See you in the morning guys. I’m so glad you’re here Cal.” Luke hugged the Kiwi boy tightly. Someone hadn’t hugged him so long. He needed this. Calum smiled and hugged back just as tight. 

A minute later Calum text Luke before he even got the chance to go in search for Ashton.

Michael is pretty hot ;) – CH

Luke chuckled as he read the message.

He’s gay. Go for it. – LH

Hell to the fucking no! He’d never go for me. It’s too soon anyway. We just met! – CH

You never know! :D – LH

I’ll think about it…. – CH

OK, I need to find Ash. We’ll talk about how much you WANT Michael later – LH

Shut the fuck up - CH

Down in the lobby Luke wandered around until he found the bar. He walked inside. It was empty minus a couple in the back. He saw Ashton at the bar, nursing a glass with amber liquid. 

Walking over he sat on the stool beside him. Ashton glanced over at him and rolled his eyes, “What do you want?”

“I’m making sure you’re okay.” 

Ashton scoffed, “You’re here because Roy or Mikey told you to come find me.” 

Luke shook his head, “I’m here because you shouldn’t be drinking.” He laid a hand on Ashton’s arm, but the other boy roughly jerked himself away from. 

Luke continued, “You have to be at the studio in the morning and I don’t think you want to act with a hangover.”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“Because it’s my job to be with you? Look, Ashton, will you just please come back to our room with me?”

“Why don’t you just run back to Roy and tell him how drunk I am and how my reputation is shit because of it?” He smirked. 

The bartender came over to them, “Anything to drink?”

Luke shook his head with a smile. “No thank you.”

He turned to Ashton, “Want another one?”

Ashton nodded.

“No,” Luke said, “My boyfriend doesn’t need anymore. Please come back to the room with me, Ash. You have a long day tomorrow.”

“Why don’t you mind your own fucking business?” Ashton spat.

“Ashton…”

“No! Just get the fuck out of here…” 

Luke hated being talked to like this. Tears of hurt and anger stung his eyes.

“Oh,” Ashton noticed, “Go ahead. Cry like a little a bitch.” 

“That’s not right, man.” The bartender said. “He’s just looking out for you.” 

“This doesn’t concern you. Where’s my drink?” He held his empty glass in the air. 

“I think you’ve had enough. You’re being cutoff.” The bartender glared at him. He added before walking away, “If you don’t treat him right, then one day someone will.” 

“Fucking great. Thanks a lot.” Ashton told Luke. “Looks like you get what you want; me back in the room with you.” 

Ashton hopped off the stool and stumbled. He had to grip the bar to keep his balance. Luke slid off his stool and offered to help him.Luke hesitantly put his hands on him. He wrapped Ashton’s arm around his neck and wound his arm around Ashton’s waist. 

They made it back to their room with much difficulty. Luke let Aston fall onto his bed. He was out by the head hit his pillow. 

Luke walked around the bed and took the actor’s shoes and socks off. He then removed the boy’s jacket. He wasn’t wearing dozens of bracelets like he normally was. And Luke saw why. Scars littered his wrists and he saw three fresh cuts. Luke’s heart clenched tightly. Ashton hurts himself. 

What should he do? Tell Roy or Mikey? ‘No,’ Luke decided. He needed to talk to Ashton first.

Meanwhile as soon as the color haired boy and the Kiwi entered their hotel room Michael sat the other boy’s bag down by his bed. Calum plopped down on the bed. 

“This is so awesome! You’re lucky that Ashton takes you everywhere.”

Michael sat down on the edge of his bed, facing the boy, “Yeah, I guess. I get a little homesick though.” 

“Oh, I bet. In about a week I’ll be crying to go back home. At least I’m here with Luke. It won’t be so bad.”

Was Michael jealous? Yes, yes he was. 

“I’m here if you need anything too.”

Calum smiled, again! “Awe thanks! Luke told me how you look out for him sometimes. I appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem. I know how difficult Ashton can be.”

Calum rolled onto his side, bending his elbow up and resting his head in his hand. 

“How can you be best friends with him? I know not everyone is as close as Luke and me. Sometimes, we’re scary close, but when I watch you two he acts as if you’re not even there.” When Calum said those words he immediately regretted them. “I’m sorry. That was wrong of me.” 

“No, it’s okay. You’re right. Ashton and I have been best friends since we were five. We grew up together and he wasn’t always like this. It started a couple of years ago. He still brings me with him every time he has to go shoot a movie, or a signing, or red carpet. I know he still cares.”

He never broke eyes contact with the other boy, “Don’t ask me how, but I just know that Luke is going to be the one who changes him. Who brings out the old Ashton.”

“If anyone could do it, it’s Luke. It’s just that,” Calum exhaled, “Luke is really sensitive and he gets hurt easily, you know, wears his heart on his sleeve. I don’t want him to get hurt. I was so worried when he came back from their first ‘date’. He started crying. He said he wasn’t strong enough to handle this. But I know he can. Even though Luke is very emotional, he’s one of the strongest people I know.”

 

Luke couldn’t fall asleep. He laid in bed in pitch darkness thinking about what he found out about the actor just a few hours ago. He couldn’t stand it when people hurt themselves. Sure, the thought crossed his mind but he never went through with it. And Calum made tell him what was wrong and he confessed everything. Calum threatened to kill him he ever did self-harm. Especially because of the stupid football team back in high school. 

How could Michael not know about Ashton? Does he know? No, Michael cares for Ashton. He would have done something. Maybe he did do something, but Ashton relapsed? Or maybe Ashton told Michael he quit but still does it? The questions and theories were endless. 

Luke decided. He was going to talk to Ashton about this tomorrow. And if Ashton wouldn’t listen to him then maybe he would listen to Roy. 

Or maybe he would talk to Calum first…No! Luke can handle this. He can’t go running to Calum for every little thing. He was about to 18 years old! He was perfectly capable of handling this on his own. Luke set the alarm on his phone for 6 so he would wake up early enough to get ready and wake Ashton too. He had to be at the studio at 7.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Your thoughts would be nice. Oh, I love asking questions, so....Whose your favorite 5 Seconds of Summer pairing? Mine of course is Lashton!~


	6. I need your love to guide me back home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Sorry for not updating in forever. I just want each chapter have what I want written in it.~

5 A.M. came way too soon for Luke’s liking. He pried his eyes open. He hadn’t slept well at all. He got out of bed and showered quickly. 

“Ashton,” He gently shook the older boy’s shoulder, “Wake up.”

For a moment Luke thought Ashton had died of alcohol poisoning in his sleep. “Ashton, please!” 

“What the fuck do you want?” 

“You need to be at the studio in an hour and a half. I just thought you’d want to shower and we need to talk.” 

“I’ll get up when I’m damn ready!”

“If you don’t get up now then Roy will just be in here in an hour.” 

Ashton groaned, “Fine!” 

It took him a few minutes but he finally rolled over and sat up. His head was killing him and he wasn’t in the best of moods. 

“Can we talk? Before your shower? I need to talk to you alone.” Luke said as he played with his fingers. 

“What is it?” Ashton really didn’t want to talk to him.

“I um, last night when I helped you back here,” The blonde began, “I um, took your jacket off and I noticed you weren’t wearing your bracelets.”

Ashton’s stern look turned to one of panic as he looked down at his bare wrists. He quickly turned them over to hide his scars and cuts. 

Luke bit his lip ring, “How long have you…?”

“It’s none of your business!” 

“You shouldn’t do that to yourself. It’s dangerous. You could die and…”

“Who cares?”

Luke quickly looked up at him, “What? How can you say that? A lot of people care about you, Ashton, your family, fans, Michael, and Roy. They would all be devastated if something happened…”

“Well, go on, run off to Roy and tell him.”

Luke shook his head, “I won’t tell him if you promise to stop.”

“Why do care? You’re in this for money. Roy pays you to go out with me. You’re just here for people to take pictures and go on fake dates with me. Then Roy pays you like the whore you are.”

Ashton’s words stung terribly. He was just trying to help. 

“Ashton,” He exhaled, “I want to help you.”

“Yeah, well, that’s what everyone says and no one has helped me yet.” 

“Just give me a chance, please,” Luke pleaded with him. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

Ashton ignored him as he got up and went into the bathroom. Seconds later Luke heard the shower start. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. That could have gone better. He new it would end like this. But Luke had this small, very small shred of hope that Ashton would listen to him. 

As Ashton got out of the shower and dressed Roy walked into their room followed by Michael and Calum. Calum ran and jumped on the bed beside Luke. 

“Hey! This place is awesome!”

Luke gave him a small smile, “Yeah, it is.”

Calum’s grin fell, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Luke said locking eyes with Ashton, “Just didn’t sleep well last night.” 

“Oh, well, let’s go get some caffeine and food in you.” Roy said as he patted his back. 

Michael wrinkled his nose, “I hate coffee.” 

“What?” Calum asked turning his attention on the colored hared boy, “How can you hate such a beautiful thing?”

“Well, when I think something is beautiful you will definitely know.” 

Everyone gave Michael a weird look except for Calum; Calum was oblivious to it. He just grinned and said, “Good!”

 

Ashton couldn’t believe he had been so careless! Now that stupid fag knows his secret! He glanced over at him as the blonde and Kiwi played with Lux on the floor of the dressing room. Everyone hit it off with Calum just like they had with Luke. Ashton just couldn’t understand. 

Ashton glanced down at his wrists. His makeup artist always covered his cuts up. He told him he had a cat that was sometimes evil. The loser believed it too, it’s either that or he just didn’t care. His fingers brushed over the skin. He could feel the scars. What harm would it do to quit? Ashton only cuts to escape. If he quits cutting then he could still drink. 

If he quit then Luke won’t tell Roy. It’s win, win, right? Luke will keep his secret and he would drink. He was going to have to make a deal with the blonde boy. And that’s exactly what he did. After shooting his scenes they all went out for dinner. 

Michael and Calum walked inside the restaurant. Ashton grabbed Luke’s arm and roughly pulled him back. 

“How exactly would you ‘help’ me?” 

Luke blinked rapidly for a few seconds as he tried to process what Ashton was asking. 

“I have a few ideas.”

“And if they don’t work.”

Luke smiled, “I have faith they will.”

“If I stop cutting, then I still get to drink.”

“You can’t make a fool out of yourself in public. I’m supposed to be making sure your image isn’t ruined.”

“I’ll be careful. I already had to give up sex. I haven’t gotten laid in weeks! I don’t think I should give up everything cold turkey.”

“I’ll help you, I promise.” 

Ashton noticed how small and innocent Luke looked then. He used to look like that. 

“Whatever.” He thrust his hands in his pockets and walked inside. 

Calum talked enthusiastically about how much fun he was having. Michael hung onto every word. He wanted Calum to have fun and if he didn’t then he would make sure Calum enjoyed himself.

Ashton kept to himself, thinking about how he was going to get over his cutting. ‘What does he have planned? God, this is stupid.’ He thought. Luke was quiet as well. He did have a few ideas on how to help the actor to stop cutting, but would they work? ‘I should have told Roy or Michael about this.’ He thought. 

When they got back to the hotel Michael stopped the other boys from disappearing in their room, “Hey, me and Cal are going to watch a movie. Want to join?”

“Um,” Luke glanced over at Ashton. He didn’t seem interested. Besides, they had a lot to discuss. “No, thanks.”

Calum stepped forward, “Are you sure?”

Luke just nodded with a small smile. 

Ashton opened the door to their room and they walked inside, leaving Michael and Calum standing out in the hallway confused.

“Do you think they’re getting along?” Michael asked.

“I don’t think so. Just last night he was being an asshole to Luke.”

“Well, maybe Ashton’s starting to change.” 

Calum wanted to say he didn’t think so, but didn’t. Calum believed people can change, but in this case Ashton had hurt someone he really cares for, more than once. 

Michael draped an arm over the Kiwi’s shoulders. 

“C’mon. I’ll let you pick the movie.” 

Calum looked up to Michael with a smile. Since he met the other boy yesterday he had really grown to like him. He may look like a rough and mean person, but truthfully, Michael was one of the nicest people Calum had ever met. 

“You’re going to regret ever saying that!” Calum grabbed his wrist and tugged the boy down the hall. 

Inside Luke and Ashton’s room Ashton plopped down on the bed. He put his arms behind his head and kicked his shoes off.

“So,” He began, “What are these ‘ideas’ of yours?” 

“I think that I should hide your razor.”

Ashton rolled onto his side and glared at the younger boy, “Are you fucking serious? I need to shave, dumbass. I can’t go around looking like Santa Claus. I knew this was a stupid idea. What was I thinking?”

“You didn’t let me finish. I’m going to hide it and when you need to shave I’ll stay in the bathroom with you.”

“Great.” Ashton sighed as rolled over onto his back again. “What else?” 

Luke was suddenly sitting on the edge of his bed. He took hold of the actor’s wrist gently. He had an uncapped black sharpie in his other hand. He began writing. 

Ashton tried to peak at what the boy was writing, but Luke said, “Stop, you’re going to mess me up.” 

Ashton huffed and tried to wait patiently. Luke finally picked his head up and Ashton looked at his wrist. In really nice swoopy cursive it said ‘Strong’.

“I’ll write a new word on you everyday. Or you can I guess, maybe it would be good for you to write it. It can be a word, lyric, name, whatever you want it to be.” 

Ashton didn’t know what to think. This was the first time in since meeting Luke he didn’t actually hate his guts. This was actually a really smart idea. ‘No,’ Ashton thought. ‘He’s still some sick fag that wants my dick.’ 

“Okay.” Was the only thing he was and he grabbed up the remote on the nightstand and flicked the TV on.

Luke kinda wished Ashton would talk to him more about this. He didn’t want to pry, but he had so many questions.

“Why do you do it?”

Ashton looked over at him. “None of your business.”

“Well, if you ever want to talk about anything, you can talk to me.”

‘God, this guy is way too nice.’ Ashton thought as he turned his attention back to the show. ‘I should take him out and let a girl have her way with him. He won’t be gay after that. He has to be virgin.’ Ashton quickly dismissed the idea. No way he was going to go out willingly with this guy. 

Luke got off his bed and grabbed his guitar. He slipped out onto the balcony and began to play. 

Usually Ashton had the TV turned up so loud he never heard Luke. But tonight, he heard him sing. And it amazed him, but he would never admit that to anyone, ever. So, instead of turning the TV up, he turned it down and listened while the other boy sang. He almost wished that Luke had left the door cracked open. 

 

A couple days later at the studio they were wrapping it up a couple hours earlier than usual. While Luke and Calum and Michael were playing with Lux he pulled out the black sharpie Luke had given him. He began to write a word on the wrist that had the most scars, his left. But messed up and couldn’t get it to look right. He sighed in frustration. 

Walking over to the three boys sitting on the ground building a castle out of blocks with the baby girl he told Luke, “You, up, now.” 

They all looked up at him. 

Luke got to his feet, “What is it Ashton?”

Ashton didn’t say a word, he grabbed his arm and pulled him into the restroom. 

“What the hell is going on?” Calum asked.

“Do you think they’re hooking up?” Michael teased.

“Oh, don’t even joke about something like that.”

Inside the restroom Ashton locked the door behind them.

“What’s wrong? Did you…?”

“No, I didn’t cut myself. I haven’t since you wrote on my wrist. It finally washed off this morning and I couldn’t write anything else until after I finished shooting this scene.”

“Oh, well, good. What’s wrong then?”

Ashton exhaled. Was he really going to ask for this boy’s help again? How embarrassing! 

“I um, look, my handwriting is shit, okay? I can’t…look.” He thrust his wrist out to show Luke the messed up word. It was smudged too and uneven. 

Luke smiled, “You want me to write it for you?”

“Don’t look so smug about it, Hemmings.” 

Luke grabbed Ashton’s wrist, above the marker, and lead him over to the sink. He ran some hot water and lathered soap on it, the pink soap turning into a light gray color. Luke then rinsed it underneath the water and rubbed his thumbs over the writing. 

When there was hardly any trace of the marker left he turned the water off and dried his wrist off with paper towels, scrubbing away any trace of the marker left behind. The blonde then proceeded to blow on his wrist, trying to get it dry faster, the action making Ashton shiver. 

‘He’s so fucking gentle, like a chick. My mom is more manlier than he is.’ Ashton thought.

“Do you have the marker?” 

Ashton pulled it out of his pocket and handed it to him. 

Luke uncapped it, “What did you want me to write?”

“Faith.” 

Luke looked at in surprise.

“I’m religious. I believe in God, don’t look so surprised.” 

“I do too. I just um, yeah, okay.” He began to write on the actor’s wrist. 

“There,” He said after a minute or two. 

Ashton inspected the writing. Luke’s handwriting was really good. You would think as many autographs he signed he would have at least developed nice handwriting. Nope. 

“Thanks.” He said, not really wanting to. 

“You can just start,” He began and put the cap back on the marker, “Telling me what you want on your wrist and I’ll write it for you.”

Ashton just nodded. 

Ever since that day Ashton asked Luke to write on his wrist every time. Luke was more comfortable around him. He even looked forward to their daily routine of picking something to put on Ashton’s wrist. He was beginning to wonder if he was falling for the actor. 

 

Everyday for the next week Luke would write a word or name on Ashton’s wrist. Things like, his mom’s name, or his brother’s name, Love, Hope, Michael, I’m stronger than this, and so many others. Luke was enjoying himself. He was starting to like spending time with Ashton, even though he was still rude and crude towards him, but Luke was looking passed all of that. 

It’s been a week and a half since the last time he had cut. Luke kept telling him he was proud of him. 

Ashton had disappeared one night. Luke went to Michael and Calum’s room to watch movies. When he came back to his room Ashton was laying on the floor between their beds. He was awake, but reeked of alcohol. 

“Ashton, what happened?” Luke sighed tiredly as he walked over to him. 

“Fell.” He slurred and Luke helped him up. 

“I was wondering where you went. At least tell me next time, okay?”

Ashton let out a sob, shocking Luke so much he almost let the actor slip from his grasp.

“You want to know why I fucking cut myself? I’ll tell ya why. My dad. My fucking asshole of a dad. The son of a bitch left two years ago today. Just upped and left without any fucking explanation! Mom was heartbroken. We haven’t heard from him since.”

Luke’s heart felt as if someone was slowly squeezing it. 

He helped the drunk boy over to the bed and laid him down. Ashton was sobbing now.

“Who does that? Who leaves their family?”

“Ashton, I had no idea. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want your fucking pity!” He screamed. 

“I don’t pity you!”

“After he left nothing could make me happy, nothing! I had to find a way to cope. I – I started cutting, one thing lead to another. I began drinking and sleeping around. And when some guy wanted to fight I would. I took my anger out on them.”

Luke stood by his beside, not knowing what to do. 

“I hate him. I hate him so fucking much! He did this to me. If he hadn’t left then I would still be the same guy I used to be. There’s no going back.”

Luke sat down, “Yes there is! Ashton, you’re changing. You haven’t cut in almost two weeks! I know you can stop drinking too. I have faith in you.”

Ashton rolled over, “Whatever. Just leave me alone, you stupid faggot!”

Luke winced and let out a sigh before getting into his own bed. As he lay there he couldn’t help but to think of how broken Ashton is. He vowed to fix him, to pick up every broken piece and glue him back together. 

The next day was their day off. Ashton slept in until 11 o’clock. When he awoke Luke handed him a glass of water and a couple of Advil. 

After taking it he groaned and threw an arm over his eyes. 

Luke sat down on the edge of his bed. He took Ashton’s arm and draped it over his lap. He bent over it and began writing. 

Ashton uncovered his eyes and watched him. 

“What happened last night?”

“I came back to the room and found you on the floor. We talked a little bit.”

“About what?”

Luke didn’t answer him and fear gripped his chest. 

“What did I say? Answer me, dammit, or I swear…”

“You talked about your dad.”

Ashton went as white as a sheet, “Like what?”

“You,” Luke swallowed thickly, “You said he left your family and that’s why you started cutting and…everything.” 

“Don’t you ever fucking say anything to anyone, got it?” Ashton hated himself. He let his guard down and now this faggot knew something too personal about him. 

“I won’t. I promise.” 

Luke finished writing on the other’s wrist and capped the marker. He waited for Ashton too look at it. 

In the same swoopy cursive writing was written ‘Luke’. 

Ashton looked up at him quickly. 

“I want you to know that I care about you too.”

He got up from the bed and changed his clothes. Ashton did too. 

“Roy is making us go out today. We won’t be out long, because I know you have a headache.” Luke said as he pulled his shirt down. 

They met Calum and Michael in the lobby. Luke and Ashton held hands as Roy instructed them to do any time they were out in public. 

Calum hopped around pointing and asking questions like a child. 

Michael thought he was adorable. 

“What’s that place?” He asked.

“Which one? That one?” Luke pointed to a huge building.

Calum shook his head, “No, the small one, beside it.”

“That one?” Ashton asked, irritated. He pointed over to it.

“Ye-” Calum stopped as he noticed the black letters on the actor’s wrist. 

“Do you have Luke’s name written on your wrist?”

Ashton quickly put his arm down. 

“Yeah, so?” He shot rudely.

“Why?” Michael asked.

“Uh, let’s go inside here!” Luke jerked Ashton into a small diner. 

He then pulled him over the booth the back; the other two boys following close behind. 

“So, spill. What’s been up with you two lately? Are you two…hooking up?” Michael asked. 

“What the fuck! NO!” Ashton yelled, catching some people’s attention around the diner. 

“Ashton tell them.” Luke whispered close to his ear. “At least tell Michael.”

“I cut myself. There, happy?”

“What? You told me you quit!” Michael shouted. 

“I did, for about three days.” 

“You’ve been hurting yourself all this time?” Michael asked quietly. 

Calum didn’t like the way his face was falling, and his shoulders beginning to slump. 

“Ash, I’m so sorry I haven’t ever noticed.” 

Ashton avoided eye contact with anyone. 

“Blondie, here, has been helping me.”

“I told him to write a word or name, something that encourages him to stop or someone who cares for him. But his handwriting is atrocious, so I write it for him.” Luke informed them. 

“And you care for him?” Calum asked suspiciously. Luke couldn’t have a crush on him, could he?

“Yeah, whether he likes it or not we’re friends.” 

Michael and Calum chuckled. 

“You wish.” Ashton muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Let me know what you think.~


	7. A tragic story, starring you and me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~I am so sorry! I never want you all to think I gave up on this story! I haven't nor will I ever! I will do my best to update more!~

“Let’s go out tonight, Mikey.” Ashton said when they were exiting the studio one evening. 

“I don’t know, Ash.” The green haired boy said glancing over at Calum, who was riding on Luke’s back. 

‘God, can he be anymore cute?’ He thought with a goofy smile on his face. 

“Hello,” Ashton waved a hand in front of his face. Michael noticed that Carpe Diem was written in beautiful handwriting. Michael thought back and tried to remember where he heard that before. That’s right, the Dead Poet’s Society. Robin Williams said it. It means Seize the day. 

“You’re not even listening to me. Let’s go out. We haven’t gone out together in forever.”

“Only if Calum and Luke can come too.” Michael negotiated. 

Ashton huffed, “Fine.” 

“Cal, Luke, we’re goin’ out tonight!” Michael hollered over to them. 

Calum looked down at his friend since he was still on his friend’s back. 

“Do you want to go?”

“Not really.” Luke sighed. 

Michael and Ashton were next to them then. 

“Ashton wants to go out, but I refuse to go unless you two come too.” Michael stated. 

“Where are we going?” Luke asked adjusting Calum on his back. God, he’s heavy. Not really, but Luke doesn’t have that much muscle. He was just a tall and thin boy. 

“A club. There’s dozens around here.” Ashton answered. 

So, that’s where the boys are now. The club was full of sweaty bodies rubbing against one another. Some were grinding one each other, some were drunk, some making out and some were doing all three. The lights were totally turned off and red, blue, and green streams of light darted from side to side across the room. 

To their right was a D.J. and to their left was the bar. 

“Let’s get a drink. They’ll be fine for a few minutes.” Ashton grabbed Michael’s arm and pulled him through the crowd. 

He didn’t want to leave Calum and Luke by themselves. They looked so small and out of place. They were glued to each other’s sides. 

“I hate this!” Luke shouted over the music. 

“What? You have to piss?” Calum shouted back. 

“I said I hate this!”

“Oh, yeah! Me too! Michael and Ashton left us, those bastards!” 

Fear gripped Luke’s chest when he looked around. Calum was right. 

“Let’s go find them!” Calum grabbed hold of his best friend’s hand and lead them through the swarm of people. 

Suddenly someone ran straight into Luke, ripping his hand from Calum’s and knocking him to the ground. 

“What the fuck?” Someone yelled. Luke looked up to see a very drunk man hovering over him. 

“I – I’m sorry! It was an accident.” Luke said as he stood. He really shouldn’t be apologizing. The man had right run into him, but he didn’t want any trouble.

“You should be sorry!” He swung his fist and hit Luke in the cheek. 

“Luke!” Calum yelled and ran over, but someone grabbed his arms and pinned them behind his back. 

The drunk man that hit Luke went over and punched Calum as hard as he could in the stomach. The wind was knocked from his lungs and he choked and coughed for breath. The other man let him go, letting him fall to his hand and knees. 

He went back over to Luke and punched his face again, this time hitting him in the lip, busting it. The other man hit Calum in the nose. 

Meanwhile at the bar the two friends sat on stools and nursed beers. 

“I think I should go back and get Cal and Luke.” Michael tried to slide off the stool, but Ashton stopped him.

“Just finish your beer. C’mon. They’re fine.”

Michael sighed and got back up on the stool. 

“How is everything?” Michael asked as he gestured to Ashton’s wrist. 

“Fine. I haven’t cut in three weeks.”

“Good. Luke’s been helping then?”

“Yeah.” Ashton took a long drink of his beer. 

“So, do you like him?”

“Nope.” 

“Not even as friend?”

Ashton shook his head, “He just wants my dick. I’m not gay.”

“He just wants to be your friend, Ash. He cares.”

Ashton scoffed at that. 

“He does or else he would have just let you keep cutting!”

Ashton stayed silent. 

Suddenly everyone was shouting and cheering. 

“What the hell is going on?” Michael asked as they turned in their seats.

“I don’t know, but let’s go see. It might be good.” Ashton slid off his stool, and Michael close behind they pushed their way through the crowd. 

Their faces fell when they saw two men beating up the blonde and Kiwi. 

The world around Ashton seemed to stop; he could no longer hear the people cheering and Luke’s whimpers. Everything moved in slow motion as he rushed forward, grabbing the man hurting Luke by the forearm. 

The guy yelled something to him, but Ashton blocked it out as he threw his fist back and thrust it forward as hard as he could into the guy’s face. He stumbled back, but before he could recover Ashton pushed him to the ground and threw himself on top of him, striking his face over and over again. 

He vaguely heard Luke shouting for him to stop. But he was so angry he saw red! How could someone even think about hurting Luke? He’s so small and innocent! Luke would never hurt anybody. He didn’t deserve this! 

Suddenly he was pulled off him by two random huge guys. They had to be security. The boys were told by the manager to get out. 

Michael had taken his jacket off and given it to Calum. He had an arm draped around his shoulders. 

Luke slipped his hand into Ashton’s bloody and bruised one. The paparazzi were outside, cameras flashing.

“Ashton, is it true you just were just in a fight?”

“Why would you do that?”

“Luke, were you involved too?”

“Is this the end of your career, Ashton?”

“Who is the Asian boy, Michael?” 

“Is he your boyfriend?” 

Roy pulled up with the van and everyone piled inside. Before Ashton got in he turned around to look at the paparazzi. 

“Some bastard was beating up my boyfriend. You really think I would stand by when someone I care about is getting hurt?”

‘Nice save, Ash.’ He thought to himself proudly.

He got in the van, slamming it hard behind him. 

On the way back to the hotel Michael kept his arm around Calum, Calum let his head onto his shoulder. 

Ashton was silent, brooding. 

Luke kept replaying everything over in head. Ashton had come to his rescue. He looked like a knight in shining armor. As he thought about it his heart sped up and a funny feeling found its way to his chest. 

The whole ride back Ashton got lectured for going to a bar and getting into a fight. When Luke explained Ashton was just defending him, Roy scolded him for letting Ashton into a bar. 

Several minutes later they retreated back to their rooms. 

With Michael and Calum as soon as they walked inside their room Calum let out a shaky breath. 

“I’m going to run you a bath. It’ll help.” Michael told him and went into the bathroom. So, that’s where you find Calum minutes later. He was lying back in the huge tub full of hot water. 

Michael knocked on the door and poked his head in, “Mind if I come in?”

Calum nodded his head. They were both guys, nothing Michael hadn’t seen before, right? Michael stepped inside the bathroom. 

“I should clean your nose.”

“Alright.” Calum made a move to get up, but Michael stopped him.

“Sit back. You just got in. And besides if I see something I don’t recognize I’ll throw a shoe at it.” 

Calum giggled. 

Grabbing a washcloth and a bottle of peroxide Michael knelt down beside the tub. Pouring some onto the cloth he gently cleaned the blood away from a small cut above his eyebrow. 

Calum winced and Michael apologized. 

“You really scared me tonight, you know?” Michael admitted.

“It’s not like me and Luke went looking for trouble. It was those two assholes! The one with black hair totally ran into Luke and went berserk. When I tried to help his friend got a hold of me.”

“Yeah, I want to get them back good for what they did. I wanted to totally fuck them up. But I’m not that kind of person.”

Calum rested a wet hand on Michael’s arm, “I’m glad you’re not.” 

Michael couldn’t help but to stare into Calum’s baby brown eyes. 

Dipping a new washcloth down in the water he brought it up to Calum’s nose. He began wiping the dried blood off. Calum winced every time it rubbed over the tender skin. 

“I won’t let anyone else hurt you, I promise.” Michael vowed. How could he say that? He’s only known this boy for a couple weeks. 

Calum looked at him, ‘really’ looked at Michael. The boy with shockingly green hair, the black metal bar in his eyebrow and his black skinny jeans and Green day t-shirt, with his very pink lips. Michael looked like someone who was tough and mean and hard, but he was exactly the opposite. He was one of the sweetest people Calum had ever met and he really liked him. 

Calum slowly leaned forward, his now dry hand coming up to rest Michael’s cheek and he pressed their lips together. As sparks flew Calum let his eyes close. Kissing Michael was like coming home. Michael on the other hand, was wide-eyed and shocked to no end. Calum Hood was kissing him! 

‘Oh shit,’ He thought, ‘Oh shit, oh SHIT!’

When they broke apart Calum rested his forehead against Michael’s. 

“I,” He chuckled embarrassed, “Hadn’t realized how long I wanted to do that until now.” 

“I wanted to ever since I bumped into you down in the lobby.”

Calum took his forehead away from the other boy’s, “Really?”

“Yeah. God Calum, you’re beautiful and adorable. Usually people are one or the other, but not you, you’re both. I love it when you smile. When you smile I feel like nothing bad can happen. As fucking cheesy as it sounds, when you smile it lights up the room.”

No one has ever talked to Calum like this. 

Calum sat back in the tub, letting Michael’s words sink in. 

“Calum? I’m sorry,” Michael, said fear gripping his chest. He blew it. He blew his chance with Calum. If he even had one in the first place. 

“What are you sorry for?”

“I shouldn’t have told you that.”

“…Why?” Calum asked, his voice breaking. 

How could someone say so many nice things to someone and then take them back? Calum knew it was too good to be true. 

Hearing Calum’s voice break was heart wrenching. 

Michael wove their fingers together and as if reading Calum’s mind said, “Calum, I meant it. Every word. I was just scared if you didn’t feel the same way I did or if this was too fast.”

Calum giggled, making Michael smile. 

“If I didn’t like you this way then I wouldn’t have kissed you.”

Michael blushed, completely embarrassed. 

“Oh, right.”

“Can we do it again?”

Michael’s eyes met Calum’s and he smiled, “Fuck yeah.”

 

When Luke and Ashton went into their room Ashton was fuming. Why? He didn’t know. Why should he care if Luke got the shit beat out of him? Luke means nothing to him. He was so angry he couldn’t even sit down. He just stood in the middle of the room, his fists at his side. 

Minutes later Luke appeared in front of him, his face clean of blood. He had a bruise on his left cheek, one on his jaw line, and his lip was big and swollen. 

He put a hand on Ashton’s chest, leading him backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed. He plopped down on the edge of the bed. 

Luke kneeled in front of him. He rested Ashton’s hand in his and put an ice pack on it. 

“You’re knuckles don’t look so good.”

“Yeah, well, have you seen your face?” Ashton grumbled. 

Luke ignored that comment; “You’ll have to keep ice on them if you don’t want them to swell so badly. I don’t know how George will cover it up on set.” George was Ashton’s makeup artist.

For a reason unknown Ashton lifted up his free hand and ran it over Luke’s bruised jaw line. Luke’s eyes fell closed. He liked Ashton touching him like this, so gently. It only lasted a second or two before Ashton jerked his hand away. 

“I’m okay.” Luke told him. 

Ashton didn’t say anything. ‘What the fuck is wrong with me? I don’t care about this kid.’ 

When Ashton came back to reality Luke was saying, “They were drunk. And people do stupid things when they’re drunk.”

Ashton couldn’t believe this kid. He wasn’t angry at the guy who probably would have sent him to the hospital if Ashton hadn’t stepped in.

“You’re so fucking innocent, Luke.”

Luke stopped talking and looked up at the actor. 

“You’re too nice. And dammit,” Ashton stood up, making Luke fall backward, the icepack on falling to the ground. “You’re so fucking gentle! What are you, some chick? I can name ten different woman who are more manlier than you!”

Luke just looked at the ground, biting his lip. 

“Why won’t you yell at me? Is it even possible for you to get angry?” 

When Luke didn’t say anything Ashton yelled, “Answer me!” 

Luke winced at Ashton’s tone. 

“I…I do get fed up with how you treat me, and Calum and Michael.” His voice was soft. “You’re so rude to everyone. We care about you Ashton, and you treat us like shit.” Luke looked up the actor, before standing. 

“I’m sorry about your dad. No one deserves to go through what you and your family went through. But you can’t go around making everyone else’s lives miserable. Every time you call me ‘fag’ it hurts not only my feelings, but Michael and Calum’s too. Roy is so good to you and you cuss and yell at him for no reason.”

Ashton grabbed Luke by the front his shirt and slammed him into the wall. 

“Don’t you dare talk about my dad. You have no right!” 

“And I’m trying to understand how you feel. My dad was taken from me. He died. My dad left us in a totally different way. I was angry. I wanted to cut my wrists and hope the emotional pain went away. I wanted to scream and punch things. I still do sometimes. But I know it would all be pointless, because it can’t bring my dad back. You drinking, having one-night stands, cutting and getting into fights won’t make your dad come back, Ashton.”

Ashton’s fists loosened. 

“You’re a good person even if you don’t think so. This attitude you have now is all an act. Well, it started out that way, but now it’s your way of life. But it isn’t you. You’re better than this.” Luke lifted his hands to cup over Ashton’s fists. 

“And no matter what you think we all care about, even me. I want us to be friends, Ashton. I want to help you. I’ve been doing my best to help with your cutting, and I want to help you with your other problems.”

Ashton released Luke and stepped away, Luke’s hands falling away. 

He shook his head, “You don’t want to help me. You’re doing all of this for money.”

“I want to help you! I want us to be friends! I care about you!”

“You don’t care about me. You just want me to fuck you and you get your money. You are just whore.”

That was the second time Ashton had called him a whore. It hurt, like taking an arrow to the heart. Was he really a whore? He was being paid to be someone’s boyfriend. 

Luke, suddenly very self-conscious, wrapped his arms around himself. 

“That’s it, I was right. You want me.”

“Ashton,” Luke shook his head. He had never even thought about the actor in a sexual way. Sure, he had thought what it would be like to be his real boyfriend, like to kiss and hug and just do what couples do, but he never thought of Ashton ‘that’ way. 

“Don’t deny it. God, people like you make me sick.”

“What about Michael? He’s…”

“He doesn’t want me to fuck him!” Ashton screamed.

“I never said I wanted you to fuck me!”

“You aren’t denying it!”

“I have never even thought about you that way!” Ashton came forward and pushed Luke as hard as he could into the wall. It made a loud THUD sound. The back of Luke’s head hit the wall and he saw black for a moment. 

“Do you want me to kiss you?” He leaned down and Luke felt his breath ghost across his lips. Luke closed his eyes. “Am I turning you on right now?”

Luke, with tears running down his face, shook his head no. 

“You want me?”

Luke whimpered. He didn’t want Ashton to treat him like this. It wasn’t right. 

Ashton pressed his body into Luke’s. Luke felt his breath on his neck. He kept his eyes closed, too afraid to open them. “I bet if I were to kiss you, you’d be begging for me to fuck you.”

“I need a drink.” Ashton said in disgust and stormed from the room. 

Luke slid down the wall. The room was silent for a just moment. But Quiet is Violent and Luke couldn’t keep his tears at bay any longer. 

He wanted Calum, he wanted his mom, and he just wanted Ashton to come back and hold him. How messed up is he wanting the boy that made him cry to hug him? He wanted Ashton to treat him right, treat him like a human being, not dirt. 

How could you care for someone who treats you so badly? This is an abusive relationship. No matter how many times Ashton put him down and hurt him Luke wanted to be with Ashton. How sick is that? Is it sick though? Luke can see through the act Ashton is doing. So, is it really sick? God, Luke was so messed up he didn’t know what to think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Let me know your thoughts on the chapter! Quiet is Violent is lyrics from a song called Car Radio by Twenty One Pilots. They are my favorite band! Check them out!~


	8. I could barely hold it all inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~This next chapter is dedicated to Hoodie and Mel! Hope you enjoy it!~

Luke stayed up for a while; afraid of slipping into a coma from the bump on is head. When he awoke the next morning he heard Roy trying to wake Ashton.

Luke rolled over to his left to find Calum lying right beside him.

Calum giggled when Luke groaned and rolled over to face his right. Michael was lying right there. 

“You guys suck.” He groaned. 

They laughed at him as they moved their bodies to the blonde boy, pressing against either side of him. 

“Get up, get dressed.” Michael said.

“I’ll get some clothes for you!” Calum hopped off the bed and skipped over to Luke’s suitcase. 

“I can’t believe you’re hung over Ashton.” Roy scolded him like a mother would a child.

“Luke,” The elderly man sighed, “You need to keep him from doing such things.”

“I’m trying.” Luke whispered as he sat up.

Roy couldn’t be angry with Luke. It was near impossible. He knew Ashton was hard to deal with. “I know, my boy.”

Clothes were laid neatly across the blonde’s lap. He sighed as he got up and went to the bathroom. 

When he returned he wore the clothes Calum picked out for him. 

“You bastard,” Calum accused. “This is my beanie!” He was holding up the light gray beanie. 

Luke shrugged with a smile on his face, “I’m pretty sure you brought something of mine.” 

It was Calum’s turn to shrug, “You’re right. I have some of your shirts.” 

Luke glanced over to Ashton. He was still lying down with his face buried in his pillow. 

The knot on the back of Luke’s head ached something fierce at the sight of the actor. 

“You have an interview on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon tonight. You’re going to go to the studio for a few hours and shoot some scenes though. Then we’ll head over and get ready for Jimmy Fallon.” Roy informed him.

When Ashton didn’t get up Roy said, “Ashton, up, now!” 

“Alright, alright! I’m up!” He sat up and rubbed his eyes. 

So now, an hour later Ashton was on the set while Michael, Calum, and Luke all sat on a couch in the hair/makeup room. Lou had left early with Lux and they were all bored out of their minds. 

Luke laid his head on his best friend’s shoulder. Last night’s events from the bar and then the falling out with Ashton had left Luke exhausted. 

Calum had his arm draped on the back of the couch. He brought a hand up to play with the hairs on the back of Luke’s neck. Calum’s hand moved up over the bump and Luke winced. 

“Luke, what happened?” Calum sat up and made Luke look away from so he could inspect his injury. His hands were on the sides of his head. 

“M-must have happened at the b-bar.” He stuttered. 

“Bullshit!” Calum shouted and Luke turned back around, “Don’t lie to me! We don’t lie to each other! You didn’t say anything about your head in the van last night.” 

“It was Ashton.” Luke whispered.

“I’ll kill him.” Calum said as if it were the most natural thing in the world. 

“Cal no. Just please don’t do anything.”

“How can I not do something when my best friend is being abused!” 

“I can handle it.”

“How much can you handle before you hit your breaking point?”

Luke, not knowing what to say, just laid his head in Calum’s chest. What will be his breaking point? Calum held onto him tightly. 

“I can talk to Ashton, if you want me to Luke.” Michael said. “He has no right to treat you like that.” 

Luke just shook his head. He wasn’t crying, but he just needed for Calum to hold him. 

“I like Ashton.” Before either of the boys could question him he said, “I don’t know why or how, but I just do. We bonded and I helped him with his cutting. I just developed feelings for him. It’s weird and sick, call it what you want. I don’t want him to be mean to me. I’m trying so hard to change him back to the Ashton Michael and Roy talk about. It’s just so damn hard.”

Neither of the boys knew what to say. This was a very strange and difficult situation for Luke to be in. Ashton definitely didn’t have feelings for him. Michael felt so bad for the blonde boy while Calum was still fuming over the fact that Ashton dare hurt his best friend mentally and physically. 

Later that evening at another studio the boys and Roy watched as Jimmy Fallon did his introduction. Steve Higgins, the announcer started off with, “And now’s here’s your host Jimmyyyyyy Faaaaaaaaallooon!”

The giant dark blue curtains split open and Jimmy walked out with a nice light gray suit on. The Roots, the band, started playing a nice beat. The crowd cheered and clapped. 

“Thank you!” He shouted. “The Roots everybody!” He pointed over to the band. 

“We have a special guest here with us tonight who will be joining us later on, Ashton Irwin and then after that Christian Slater with a musical guests Twenty One Pilots!”

He went on to tell jokes and announcements, which made the audience go wild.

“This is so exciting!” Calum whispered. 

Michael smiled down at the Kiwi boy. 

Many minutes later they heard Jimmy Fallon say, “Ashton Irwin everybody!”

Ashton walked out with a smile and waved to the clapping audience. 

Ashton shook Jimmy’s hand. Jimmy then sat down in his chair behind his desk and Ashton sat in the chair closest to the desk. 

“How are you doing?”

“Good, I’m great. And yourself?”

“I’m good. So, I saw your last movie, Down Goes Another One. It was great. I liked it. And you’re making a sequel?”

Ashton nodded, “I am. It won’t be done filming for another three or so months, maybe a bit longer.”

“For those who haven’t seen the movie you should. It’s absolutely amazing. It’s about this retired cop and his son, Ashton here, is kidnapped and his father has to get him back.”

“It was a lot of fun to film. The writers did an amazing job. Everything and everyone is just great. I couldn’t have asked for a better team and now with the sequel, I think its even more amazing.”

“And I understand, from all the tabloids, there are a lot of rumors going on about you. I even heard that you were getting married. Is that true?” Jimmy didn’t ask a lot of personal questions usually, but Ashton was young and he was curious as whether the boy was getting married at such a young age. 

Ashton laughed, “No, I’m not getting married any time soon.”

The girls in the audience made sounds of disappointment. 

“So, there will be no wedding for you and your boyfriend, Luke is it?”

Ashton shook his head with a smile, “No, Luke and I are nowhere near ready for marriage.”

“Well, you’re young.” Jimmy pointed out. 

“Very. Luke just turned 18 and I turned 20 a few months ago.”

“And he is here with you tonight?”

“He is. He’s backstage.”

“Well, let’s get him out here. What do you say?” Steve Higgins said as turned to the audience. “Do you want to get Luke out here?”

The audience went wild, screaming, some girls jumping up and down. 

Luke’s eyes went wide. He couldn’t go out there! Roy was pushing him forward and he fought every step of the way. “Roy,” he hissed, “No, no, Calum! Don’t let him do this!”

Calum stepped forward reaching out to take his best friend’s hand, but Michael held him back. “It’s too late now,” He whispered. “He has to go. This happened a couple years ago when Ashton went on Ellen. I had to go out with him.”

When he walked out the lights were blinding and his body temperature rose. Walking over to Jimmy’s desk Jimmy stood and shook hands. Ashton stood as well and rested a hand on his hip, kissing his cheek. It made Luke blush and his heart soar. He sat down next to Ashton. 

“Hey Luke. It’s nice to meet you. This is your first time being on television?”

Luke bit his lip ring before replying, “It is.”

“Well, I’m glad I was your first.” Jimmy said and then made a face at the horrible choice of words. 

Everyone cracked up, the audience, the Roots, Jimmy. 

Laughing Jimmy said, “I promise I’m not trying to steal your boyfriend, Ashton.”

“I hope not.” Ashton said, taking Luke’s hand in his. 

“I don’t think my wife would approve either. How long have you been together?”

“About,” Ashton looked to Luke, “Two, two and a half months?”

Luke nodded, “Sounds about right.” 

“How did you meet?”

“Roy, my manager, set it up. I guess you could call it a blind date. We just hit it off.”

The audience awed. 

“We’re inseparable. He goes with me everywhere, even to the set.”

“How are you adjusting to all of this, Luke?”

“It was hard at first, leaving my mom and best friend back in Australia, but I have Ashton, Roy is great and I’ve grown close to Michael, Ashton’s friend. And for my birthday Roy flew Calum, my friend, out and he’s been with us ever since. So, it’s been fun. It’s all great.”

“Well, that’s awesome. Ashton Irwin and Luke Hemmings everyone! We’re going to take a quick break!” 

“Great job guys. It’s been nice meeting you Ashton, Luke.” Jimmy said once they were off the air. 

“You too.” Luke smiled. 

Jimmy went off stage to get some water. As soon as he was out of earshot Ashton grabbed his hand, and pulled him backstage. “What the hell was that?”

“What? It’s not like I wanted to go out there! Roy basically pushed me on stage!”

Ashton huffed, “I guess it wasn’t your fault.”

“I’ll stay right here when you go back on, okay?”

Ashton shook his head, “No, Jimmy and the audience really like you. They’d want to know why you didn’t come back.”

Meanwhile right after Luke shook Jimmy’s hand Michael slipped his arm around Calum’s thin waist. 

Calum looked up at him. 

“What do you say, we go to the restroom for a while?”

“The restroom? Why would we go to the – Oh!” 

Calum let the boy tug on his hand and lead him to the restroom. Once inside the restroom Michael shoved Calum up against the door. 

Calum moaned as Michael gripped his hips tightly. “Michael, mm, what, mmp, is this we’re doing?” He asked in between kisses. 

Michael pulled his lips away from the other boy’s. “I was hoping you’d be my boyfriend.”

“I’ve never…” Calum shook his head. “I’ve never been with anyone before. You were my first kiss.”

Michael smiled as pride overwhelmed his chest. He was Calum’s first kiss? 

“It’ll be okay. Just be yourself, babe.”

Calum smiled, “Okay.” He wrapped his arms around the taller boy’s neck and brought him in for another kiss. 

“Can we tell Luke?”

“Yeah, of course. I think we should keep it from Ashton for a while. He’s not too keen on…gay people.”

Calum frowned, “He’s your best friend.”

“I know,” Michael nodded. “He knows I’m gay, but he doesn’t…He’s become more defensive since Roy hired Luke to be his boyfriend.”

Calum slowly nodded, “Okay. Just whenever you’re ready.” 

Michael couldn’t help but to smile down at him and kiss him again. 

They ordered a couple pizzas before going back to the hotel. Ashton just wanted to be alone in his room, but he knew he could never as long as Luke was around. Of course, if Luke had left then he would just back later and disturb the actor. 

“Do you want to eat with Cal and Mikey or…?” He asked as Roy drove them back the hotel. 

“I just want to go back to the room.”

Luke nodded and messed with his fingers in his lap nervously. 

Glancing to back seat he saw Michael and Calum’s bodies pressed tightly together. Their hands were laced together on their thighs.

Luke was confused for a moment, but pieced it all together. He couldn’t help but feel a pain spike through his chest. While he cared for a boy that treated him like dirt, Calum had found the perfect boy for him. Even though he was extremely jealous, he was happy his best friend found someone. 

Days later Ashton was filming some scenes, while Luke and the other boys sat in his dressing room. Luke and Calum had brought his guitars. Michael was messing around with his boyfriend’s guitar. Luke had his sat across his lap. Calum grabbed it from him and began playing with it. Lux kept running off and getting into things she wasn’t supposed to. For instance, she ran across the movie set Ashton and his co-stars were filming at. 

As Lux began running off again Luke stood and grabbed her up. She fussed as he tried to get a good hold on her. He stood up, bouncing her up and down gently. 

“Hey Luke, why don’t we sing for her. Maybe that will calm her down.” Calum suggested. 

“Teenage Dream?”

“Teenage Dream.” Calum grinned. 

Turning to his boyfriend Calum said, “Do you know the chords?”

Michael faked a hurt expression, “You wound me, babe. Of course I know the chords.” 

The two boys began to strum on the guitars. 

Luke sang first.

“I think you’re pretty without any makeup on.  
I think you’re funny when you tell the punch line wrong  
I knew you got me when you let your walls come down, down.” 

As Luke was singing Ashton walked up. The sight made him smile. And for some reason unknown he went over and picked up a Cajon drum that was left on the set from the last movie that had been filming earlier. 

He put it down next to the couch Michael was sitting on and sat on top of it. He began drumming. Michael looked over and smiled widely at the actor, Calum looked confused and Luke was smiling so big it hurt. 

Calum took over the next few lines. 

“Before you met me I was alright  
but things were kind of heavy, you brought me to life  
Now every February you’ll be you’re Valentine.”

Luke picked it up again, but this time changing the lyrics, making them appropriate for the little girl. 

“Let’s just talk all through the night  
There’s no need rush  
We can dance until we die  
You and I will be young forever!”

Then all four boys sang the chorus, 

“You make me feel like I’m living a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on  
I can’t sleep, let’s run away and don’t ever look back  
Don’t ever look back.

My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch now baby I believe this is real  
So take a chance and don’t ever look back  
Don’t ever look back.” 

Lux was giggling and waving her arms around happily. Calum began singing again. 

“When you’re around my life’s like a movie scene  
I wasn’t happy until you became my king  
I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece  
I’m complete.”

As he sang Calum glanced over at Michael to find him smiling at him. Calum blushed and looked back down at the guitar in his hands. Luke took over again. 

“Let’s just talk all through the night  
There’s no need to rush  
We can dance until we die  
You and I will be young forever!”

Then Luke and Calum’s voices molded together for the next lines. 

“You make me feel like I’m living a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on  
”I can’t sleep, let’s run away and don’t ever look back  
Don’t ever look back.

My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch now baby I believe this is real  
So take a chance and don’t ever look back  
Don’t ever look back.” 

Finally it was Michael’s turn. He had the perfect change of lyrics. He jumped right in.

“I will get your heart racing if that’s what you need  
In this teenage dream tonight  
Let you rest your head on me if that’s what you need  
In this teenage dream tonight.” 

It was the blonde’s turn again. 

“You make me feel like I’m living a teenage dream.  
-C’mon Lux clap your hands -  
The way you turn me on  
I can’t sleep, let’s run away and don’t ever look back  
Don’t ever look back.”

Everyone joined in. 

“My heart stops when you look at me  
Just one touch now baby I believe this is real  
So take a chance and don’t ever look back  
Don’t ever look back

I will get your heart racing if that’s what you need  
In this teenage dream tonight  
Let you rest your head on me if that’s what you need  
In this teenage dream tonight.” 

Suddenly there was a very thunderous applause. The boys looked up to see Lou, Roy and many of the behind-the-scenes workers all watching them.

Luke and Calum blushed, Michael looked away, and Ashton just kept his head down. The crowd slowly disappeared, leaving Lou and Roy. Roy finished clapping.

“That was amazing, boys!”

“Lux loved it! You’ll have to sing to her every time you come to the set. She’s almost asleep.” Lou said. 

Luke looked down at the toddler leaning against his chest and she was having a hard time keeping her eyes open. 

Lou came forward and gently took the little girl from Luke’s arms. Luke was hit with gust of coldness; all the warmth Lux was providing was gone. Calum and Michael were sitting close together again and Luke just wanted someone to be close to him like Calum and Michael were. 

So, Luke walked over to the couch and laid across the other two boys’ laps. His head resting in Michael’s while the rest stretched out across Calum and the couch. 

“Luke!” Calum giggled. 

“I’m cold!” Luke whined. 

“That’s your fault! You know this studio is like the fucking arctic! You shouldn’t have worn a tank.” Michael exclaimed. 

Luke pouted. 

Suddenly something fell onto his face. He grabbed it and looked at it, it was a plain navy blue zip up hoodie with white tie strings. It was Ashton’s.

Luke looked up at the boy standing in front of the couch. “Take it,” He said. “…Roy said it would look good if you wore some of my clothes.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Ashton!” George, the director, yelled, “C’mon!”

Ashton turned and walked to the set. 

Luke got up and put the hoodie on. It was a size too big on him, but it was warm. Just a few moments ago he regretted wearing a tank-top to this freezing cold studio, but now he didn’t. He thanked God he wore a tank-top, because he got to wear Ashton’s hoodie. 

He zipped it up and put his hands in the pockets and settled into the corner of the couch. Roy sat down on the other couch. 

“Thanks for telling Ashton it would look good for me to wear his clothes. I was freezing.” Luke said. 

Roy looked up from his book he was reading, “I never said that, but that is a good idea.” 

He gave look a small smile before turning back to his book. 

“Oooh!” Calum said, shaking Luke’s arm. 

“Shit, Ashton was just being nice!” Michael stated. “I hope he keeps doing that more often.” 

‘He willingly gave me his jacket!’ Luke thought excitedly. Though Ashton didn’t return romantic feelings, Luke would take any nice gesture he could from the actor. 

Later that night in their room as Ashton changed into some sweat pants Luke said, “You did good today, with the uh, drumming and singing.”

Ashton glanced over his shoulder at him, “Thanks. You too.”

Ashton complimented him and he willingly gave his jacket to Luke all in one day? Is the world coming to an end?

Luke stood and unzipped Ashton’s hoodie and slid it off him. “Thanks for letting me wear this.” He held it out the actor. 

Ashton took it from him gently. “Yeah, well I only did it because Roy told me to.”

“…Oh, yeah I know.” Luke said quickly. “But still, you didn’t have to. So, thank you.” Luke bit his lip ring to keep from smiling. 

“No problem.” 

Not wanting the moment to be ruined Luke turned and began changing into his sleep clothes. 

Once he was settled into bed, Ashton reached over, his fingers on the lamp’s switch on the bedside table in between their beds.

“Goodnight Ashton.” 

“Night.” 

The actor switched the light off, complete darkness falling over the room. Luke lay in bed for a few moments. It was hard to keep all of his excitement inside. Today had been a great day! Ashton had been nice to him, even though Ashton himself would never admit it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Your thoughts would be cool....~


	9. Before we started it was over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Here is the next chapter! I loved writing this one, but then I didn't. You will see why.~

The next day when they went back to the set Luke brought his guitar. Michael wanted to take Calum out for a date, their first official date. 

Lux sat beside him on the couch playing with a stuffed animal penguin, Luke practically squealed when he saw it. They’d been there almost an hour when Luke decided it was a good time to start playing. 

He was about to start when Ashton walked over with his drum and sat on it. 

“Um, what song are we doing today?”

Luke smiled brightly at him. “I was going to sing A Drop in the Ocean by Ron Pope. Do you know it?”

Ashton nodded. 

Luke began to strum his guitar as Ashton began drumming.

“A drop in the ocean   
A change in the weather  
I was praying that you and me might end up together  
It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert  
But I’m holding you closer than most ‘cause you are my heaven.”

Luke winced at the words. He didn’t know Ashton would be joining him today. He thought it would be safe to play this song. He was wrong. No going back now. He continued to sing. 

“I don’t wanna waste the weekend  
If you don’t love me pretend  
A few more hours then it’s time to go.

As my train rolls down the east coast I wonder how you keep warm  
It’s too late to cry   
Too broken to move on

And I still can’t let you be  
Most nights I hardly sleep  
Don’t take what you need from me.

Luke and Ashton sang the chorus together. Luke couldn’t help but notice how wonderful their voices sound together. 

“It’s just a drop in the ocean  
A change in the weather  
I was praying that you and me might end up together  
It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert  
But I’m holding you closer than most ‘cause you are my heaven.”

The next lines were sang by Ashton. Luke took in the older boy’s voice. It was a bit rough, but smooth at once. How was that possible?

Misplaced trust in old friend  
Never counting regrets  
By the grace of God I do not rest at all

They took turns singing and sang the chorus together. 

And New England as the leaves change  
The last excuse that I’ll claim  
I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl

And I still can’t let you be  
Most nights I hardly  
Don’t take what you don’t from me

As they sang the chorus, Luke looked at Ashton. He was so handsome. Maybe he should have been a model instead of an actor.   
It’s just a drop in the ocean  
A change in the weather  
I was praying that you and me might end up together  
It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert  
But I’m holding you closer than most ‘cause you are my…

Heaven doesn’t seem far away anymore  
No, no  
Heaven doesn’t seem far away anymore

Heaven doesn’t seem far away anymore  
No, no  
Heaven doesn’t seem far away  
Oh, oh

It’s just a drop in the ocean  
A change in the weather  
I was praying that you and me might end up together  
It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert  
But I’m holding you closer than most ‘cause you are my heaven  
You are my heaven

When they finished Luke looked down at his guitar with a smile on his lips. His heart was racing. 

“That was fun.” He admitted. 

“Yeah.” Ashton said. “Lux seemed to like it.” 

The blonde boy looked to his left and sure enough the baby girl was fast asleep on the other side of the couch. 

 

Things were pretty much okay between the two boys over the next couple of days. Well, they were no Michael and Calum, but they were…Okay. Ashton continued to drum during his break, and even sang with the other boys. He wasn’t really all that rude to Luke.

Nothing made Luke happier. It was great. But Roy just had to come in and ruin things. Bless that poor old man, but dammit, Luke was very upset with him. 

Luke was sitting on his bed, strumming the guitar, while Ashton played a game on his phone when Roy came in.

“Boys, you aren’t going to be happy, but we’ve got a problem.”

Ashton glanced up from his phone and Luke put his guitar down on the bed. 

“Now, just hear me out. My assistant’s daughter asked me about you two. She asked me why there were no pictures of you two…” He trailed off and made hand gestures, confusing the two boys.

“Pictures of us….what?” Luke asked.

“Kissing. And she’s right! I went on Twitter after I spoke with her and did you know #WeNeedLashtonProof is trending? Along with #WeWantMoreLashton. There are no pictures on the Internet or in magazines of you two kissing, other than Ashton kissing your cheek on Jimmy Fallon. But there is none of you kissing on the lips.”

“That’s because we haven’t kissed on the lips.” Ashton said, his face scrunched up in disgust.

“Well, you two need to change that.”

“But…” Ashton started, only for Roy to hold a hand up to silence him.

“No buts, there needs to be pictures of you two kissing. Holding hands and having your arm around Luke isn’t enough anymore. There’s a party going on tomorrow night it’s being hosted by George. You’ve been invited Ashton and you’re supposed to bring a date, which is Luke. I say you two act very much in love while you’re there.” He left the room. 

“Fuck!” Ashton yelled.

“Um, you can close your eyes and pretend I’m a girl.” Luke offered.

“You’re fucking girly enough.” Muttered Ashton.

‘No,’ Luke thought as tears welled up in his eyes, ‘Everything was just fine!’ 

“What, um, are you going to wear? I have no clue what to wear to a nice party like that.”

“I don’t know.” Ashton said in frustrated voice. 

The next evening Calum and Michael sat on Luke’s bed as the blonde and actor got ready for the party.

“I’m so jealous of you, Lukey. You get to go to some fancy ass party.” Calum said as he threw himself back on the bed. Michael laughed at him and laid back beside him. 

“Is this okay?” Luke asked, gesturing to his clothes. 

He had on black skinny jeans, a long sleeved white button up shirt with a black sweater over it and black and white converse. 

“You look hot!” Calum announced.

He missed the pout Michael gave him.

“Hey.” He whined, “Don’t call other guys hot.”

Calum turned his head and grinned at him, “Luke and I have been best friends since the womb. There is no reason to be jealous.”

“You’re right.” Michael said with a shrug. 

Michael leaned in and kissed his lips, but as soon as he heard the bathroom door open he pushed Calum away with such a force it knocked him off the bed. There was a loud thud. 

Ashton still didn’t know about their relationship. Michael was scared to tell Ashton. When he had come out to Ashton he accepted it, but never really liked talking about it. 

Ashton emerged from the bathroom; steam oozing out from behind him, a towel wrapped around his waist. He looked Luke up and down, checking out his clothes. He didn’t want the blonde to be dressed more nicely than him. 

Within a few minutes he was dressed in black skinny jeans, black boots, a dark gray crew neck t-shirt, a black leather jacket to go over it and of course a black bandana with white designs wrapped around his forehead. 

“Let’s get this over with.” He said as he grabbed his phone.

Luke whined and buried his face in Calum’s chest, “I don’t wanna go.” 

Calum chuckled and said, “Get up. You’re going to have a great time!”

Luke wasn’t so sure about that. Roy wants them to act like they’re in love. And yes, Luke has a crush on Ashton, but he didn’t love him and Ashton didn’t even like him as a friend. 

The party was being held at a huge banquet center. It was huge on the outside and on the inside. The ceiling was tall, with a huge glass chandelier; there was a handful of tables with white table clothes. To their left was a long table full of food and drinks. Waiters walked around with trays full of glass filled with champagne. 

As one walked by Ashton took one of the glasses and down it in one gulp. He sat it down on the table, before leading Luke through the crowd. 

People stopped them and asked Ashton about his movie and who Luke is. Ashton held his hand and even kissed his cheek at one point. Luke would be lying if he said he wasn’t having any fun. He met lots of people and Ashton was being sweet to him, even when they were alone he acted okay. 

“How do you think we’re doing on the lovey-dovey act?” Ashton asked as they stood off to the side.

“Fine.”

“What do you mean ‘fine’?”

“I mean we’re doing fine.”

“I’m sick of Roy chewing my ass out. We need to make this look fucking amazing!”

“Oh okay, well, we still need to…Kiss.”

“Fuck,” Ashton muttered. “Have you even kissed anyone before?” 

Ashton knew the answer. Luke was just too innocent. Handholding to him must be as bad as sex. 

Luke bit his lip ring, “Um…”

Ashton groaned, “Figures. Let’s go into the crowd a bit. We’ll need an audience for this or it will be for nothing.” 

Once again Luke let Ashton lead him through the crowd. Out of his peripheral vision Luke noticed a man with an expensive looking camera. 

Ashton rested his hands on Luke’s hips, Luke stood there, suddenly terrified of what was about to happen. Ashton was going to be his first kiss. 

As he leaned in Luke’s heart sped up. And suddenly Ashton’s lips were on his and Luke wanted to die. Ashton moved forward, their bodies pressed together. Luke’s hand made its way up to the back of Ashton’s head and pushing him closer, deepening the kiss. 

There was no tongue, just their lips pressed together, but it meant everything to Luke. 

SNAP, SNAP, SNAP! The camera guy took many pictures of them kissing. Some people even stopped to look at them. George, who had been talking to his wife hadn’t even noticed until his wife shushed him. When he looked over his eyes bulged out of his head. Everyone knew that Ashton was a real ladies man and when word got out he had a boyfriend, it surprised them, but actually seeing him kiss another guy was shocking. 

They slowly parted. When Luke became aware of all the people staring at them he blushed madly and lowered his head and hid his face in Ashton’s chest. 

Ashton chuckled loudly, “Okay, shows over folks! We just got caught up in the moment!”

When everyone went back to socializing Ashton muttered, “Fuck. I hope that kiss was good enough to last these next few months. I don’t want to do that again.”

Luke picked his head up, “Y-yeah, me neither.” 

As soon as those words left his mouth he felt absolutely guilty, because he lied. He would very much like to do that again. Over and over. 

“I’m going to the restroom. Try not to piss anyone off and get beat up again.” Ashton told him as he left. 

Luke suddenly felt very exposed without Ashton next to him. Every so often someone would stop to ask him questions or talk. 

“How long have you and Ashton Irwin been together?”

“Where did you meet?”

“You look so cute together!”

“Are you two serious?”

He couldn’t have been more relieved when he saw Ashton walking towards him. As soon as Ashton was by his side the actor looped an arm around the younger boy’s waist and pulled him away from the crowd. 

Luke let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Thanks. I couldn’t have taken another second of them.” 

“Yeah, all they care about is gossip, Fuckers.” 

They decided to eat something and then go back to their room.

Luke was munching on a carrot stick and Ashton grabbed up another glass of champagne. Luke winced, that would be his third. The actor raised it to his lips, but Luke rested a gentle hand on his arm.

“Please don’t. Not tonight.”

Ashton’s first reaction would be, ‘Fuck you, you don’t tell me what to do.’ But for some reason the pleading look in Luke’s ocean blue eyes really got to him. He sat the glass down on the table.

Luke moved on to eating orange slices. He put the whole thing in his mouth, biting down as close as he could to the peel, hiding it behind his lips. 

He tapped on Ashton’s shoulder, making the older boy look at him. When he did Luke smile widely at him, revealing only orange peel. Ashton let out a laugh, a genuine laugh. It made Luke’s chest tighten.

Removing the orange peel he put it back on his plate. When he felt someone tap his shoulder he turned to see Ashton. But this Ashton had two celery sticks under his top lip, making him look like a walrus. 

Luke giggled. 

After removing the celery he said, “Let’s get out of here and get some real food.”

“Fine with me. I love food.”

“You do.” Ashton agreed.

What happened to Ashton’s mood? Luke had just made him laugh. And now he was acting…nice. If all Luke had to do was make him laugh then Luke better start planning ways to make him do so for the next few months. 

Ashton secured his arm around Luke’s waist and they left, with people taking their pictures of course. As they left Luke couldn’t help but to wish Ashton actually wanted to put is arm around him, not just to do it for the pictures. 

Meanwhile back at the hotel as soon as Luke and Ashton left Michael turned to Calum with a smirk.

“Wanna make out on Ashton’s bed?”

Calum just looked at him with an irritated look.

“What?”

Calum groaned and rolled his eyes. He pushed himself up off the bed and made his way over to the door. Before he could open the door Michael grabbed his forearm.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m just tired. I want to go to bed.”

“Are you sick or something?” Calum heard the worry in his voice, but couldn’t bring himself to care. 

He tried to free his arm, but Michael was bigger and stronger he is. 

“Hey,” Michael said more quietly. “Talk to me.”

Calum stopped struggling and sighed. 

“No, it’s stupid.” 

“Just tell me, please babe.”

Calum turned to look at Michael, Michael’s grip loosening, and sliding down his arm to hold his hand.

“I just, why haven’t you told Ashton about us? He’s going to find out eventually. You literally pushed me off the bed when he came in.”

Michael opened his mouth to speak, but Calum continued.

“And the other day when we were making out in the storage closet on set, when Ashton called for you, you told me to stay in the closet until he left. You two stood around talking for half of his break. And where was I? In the fucking closet. I could only play Candy Crush so many times, literally. There’s so many times you could have told him, I feel like I’m getting the short end of the stick and I can’t keep doing this.”

“I’ll tell him when he gets back-”

“You won’t, Michael. You’ve told me that so many times and you haven’t.”

“Calum…”

“I think I’m going to stay with Luke tonight.”

“Don’t do this, babe. C’mon. You know how Ashton is…He’s just an ass. I’ll tell him.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I will tell him.”

Calum shook his head, “You won’t.”

“Fine. Act like a little bitch. I don’t care what you do.” He walked passed Calum and opened the door walked out of the room. 

As soon as the door closed he realized what he said to Calum. He let his frustration with himself get the best of him and he took it out on his boyfriend.

He was about to knock, fist raised, but then he heard the most heartbreaking sound he had ever heard; a loud sob. He had caused the most beautiful and sweetest boy in the world heartache. 

His fist lowered and he wanted more than anything to go in and comfort the boy, but Calum didn’t want to be around him. So, he went back to their room.

 

Since there weren’t many paps out Ashton and Luke decided to walk back to the hotel after eating burgers and fries. Their hands were entwined and Luke couldn’t help but to think how perfect his hand felt in Ashton’s. They talked, and Luke managed to make him laugh again. Ashton returned the favor, which made Luke snort and cherry coke came out his nose. Ashton laughed again. Luke was quite proud of himself, not only did he make Ashton laugh tonight, he made him laugh three times!

When they made it back to the hotel Luke dug around in his pocket for the room key. Finding it he put it in and the door opened. 

Calum was curled up in a ball, on Luke’s bed. He wasn’t sobbing anymore, but the tears were still coming. 

Luke ripped his hand from Ashton’s and kneeled by the bed. 

“Calum? What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Ashton stepped into the room as well, closing the door behind him.

Calum sat up, rubbing his eyes.

“Michael and I got into a argument.” He whimpered.

“What about?” Luke asked as took hold of both Calum’s hands. 

Calum leaned forward and rested his head on Luke’s chest, “You know.” He whispered.

Luke nodded, knowing exactly what his best friend was talking about. 

“What did you and Michael fight about?” Ashton asked. 

Calum just shook his head, still resting it on Luke’s chest.

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

Calum picked his head up, “Why do you care?”

Ashton shrugged. Why did he care? He shouldn’t. This ‘Calum’ was no one important to him, but Michael was. 

Turning his attention back to the blonde Calum asked, “Can I stay here tonight?” 

“Of course you can.” Luke replied back immediately. 

“I’m going to stay with Michael.” Ashton said grabbing his sleep clothes and walking out of the room. Luke watched him go.

Calum looked up at Luke and wiped his eyes. Sniffing he said, “Um, anyway, how was the party?”

“Let’s talk about you right now.”

Calum shook his head, “I want to hear everything.”

“He kissed me, you know, for pictures.”

“On the mouth?”

Luke nodded, with a blush.

Calum squealed and repositioned himself, so that he sat criss-cross. Luke mimicked the position, across from his friend on the bed. 

“How was it?”

“Honestly?” Luke glanced up at him and Calum nodded.

“It was the best moment of my life, Calum. I thought I was going to faint and my heart pounded so hard in chest that it scared me. It felt so…Right being with him like that tonight. And I made him laugh too, three times throughout the night. It was almost like we were a real couple and I know we’re not. But…” Luke trailed off, thinking about how wonderful the night had been.

Calum smiled at his friend sadly.

“Well, we both have no boyfriends.”

“You and Michael are…done?”

Calum shrugged, “I think so, but we can be single together now.”

“Like old times?” Luke returned the sad smile.

Calum nodded, tears blurring his vision. 

 

When Ashton knocked on his friend’s hotel room door it was thrown open to reveal a very ragged looking Michael. His face fell when he saw it was the actor.

“Oh,” His shoulder slumped, “I thought you were Calum.”

He turned went back over to his bed. He fell back on it. Ashton stepped in and closed the door.

“Luke’s over with him in our room now.”

Michael rolled over on his side, looking at his best friend. 

“How is he?”

“He’s a blubbering mess. What did you do to him?” Ashton dropped his clothes onto Calum’s nicely made bed –Michael and Calum had been sharing the color haired boy’s ever since they first kissed – and sat down on it. 

Michael shrugged, not wanting to talk about this with Ashton. 

“Come on, tell me.”

“No.”

“Pleeeeaase!” 

“Fuck off!”

“That’s my line!”

“Fine! We fought about you!”

Ashton was taken aback. “Me? What did I do?”

Sighing Michael said, “We actually fought about me. I’ve needed to tell you something. And I haven’t. That’s why we fought.”

“What do you need to tell me?” Ashton asked, having no clue what his friend had to tell him that was so important.

“Calum and I have been…seeing each other for a few weeks now.”

Ashton didn’t know what to do or say. His best friend has been in a relationship and hasn’t told him until now?

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was scared of how you would react. You’re always yelling at Luke and calling him a ‘faggot’ and I was just scared, okay? I didn’t want to lose my best friend. But then I lost the best thing that’s happened to me in the process.”

“Well, you told me now though. I know now. You can just tell him I know.”

“You’re okay with this?”

“Michael, I never meant to like, hurt you or for you to fear me. I care about you. You’ve been my best friend since we were in diapers. I’ll always accept you…as long as I don’t have to hear all about the kinky shit you do.”

Michael chuckled, “We haven’t had sex yet. Just really hot make out sessions.”

Ashton winced.

“Man, the things that boy can do with his tongue.”

Ashton slapped his hands over his ear, “Stop!”

“The way he moves his body against mine…”

“Stop it! I can’t take it anymore!”

Michael rolled onto his back and laughed. 

“Anyway,” Ashton said loudly, “I know about you two now, so you can go kiss and make up, right?”

Michael shook his head, “I don’t know. I said some things to him that were really hurtful.”

“You were frustrated. You didn’t mean them.”

“I know, I just ugh!”

“Look, think about what you want to say to Calum. And then in the morning talk to him. Give him and yourself time to cool off.”

“When did you become so nice?” Michael half-teased. 

Ashton just looked at him before pushing himself up off the bed and changing into his sleep clothes. Michael did the same. 

Without another word from Ashton they went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Let me know what you thought.~


	10. I fall apart, I'm fighting hard to breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Here's another chapter, my beauties! I am writing chapter 11 now. There is still a long way to go! I'm sorry I'm taking so long to update. I am writing this story, an All Time Low one, A Fall Out Boy, a Twenty One Pilots one, and a Marvel one. Plus, I have college, so I'm a little busy.~

The next morning when they all met up for breakfast, it was awkward. Usually Luke and Ashton sat beside each other, while Calum and Michael sat across from them. Today it was Luke and Calum across Ashton and Michael. 

Luke and Ashton ate their food slowly while Michael played around with his. Calum didn’t eat anything.

“Um,” Luke said breaking the silence. “The party was fun last night.”

Ashton nodded, catching on to what the boy was doing. 

“Wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

The other two boys didn’t say anything. 

“Calum, can I talk to you, alone?” Michael asked. 

Calum looked up at him, wrapping his arms around his torso. He shook his head. He couldn’t handle it right now. He would surely burst into tears and he didn’t want to cry in front of Michael. 

Michael sighed and slumped back in his chair. 

Luke picked up his orange slice from his plate and put it between his teeth like he had done the night before and tapped Calum on his shoulder.

Calum looked up, “Wha…” He chuckled, causing the other two to look up. 

Ashton and Michael let out small laughs. 

“Damn, there’s no celery!” Ashton cursed, banging his hand on the table softly. He quickly grabbed up two straws and put them under his upper lip. 

Calum giggled and Michael shook his head with a smile on his face. Luke wanted to smile at him like a maniac, but that was difficult with the orange behind his lips. 

Roy walked over to them with a to-go cup of coffee. 

“Everyone finished? Oh, Ashton, Luke,” He laughed.

Calum stuck Luke’s side like glue at the studio. Michael had went off hung around in one of the hallways next to a vending machine and Ashton went to the set. 

“I’ll be right back,” Luke told the Kiwi. “I need to ask Ashton something.”

Calum nodded from his spot on the couch.

Ashton grabbed a water bottle and a sandwich. 

“Hey.”

Ashton looked at him, “What’s up?”

“I feel so bad for Calum.”

“And Michael too.”

Nodding Luke said, “I just don’t know what to do.”

“We need to get them back together.” He took a large bite out of his sandwich.

Luke looked at him quickly, “You know?”

“Michael told me last night.” He said with a mouthful.

Luke reached over and grabbed a napkin on the table. He then wiped the corner of Ashton’s mouth. Once it was free of mayo he tossed it in the trashcan.

“Thanks.” He went back to his sandwich. 

“How are we going to get them together? Calum is basically terrified to be in the same room with Michael. He’s never been in a relationship before. He doesn’t know what to do.”

“I have a plan. Let me finish eating and we’ll talk about it.”

Luke got a handful of napkins. Chuckling he said, “You’re so messy.”

He brushed the fallen food from Ashton’s clothes while Ashton continued eating. 

Once he finished he explained Luke his plan. 

“Are you ready?” 

Luke nodded. “Are you sure this is going to work?”

“Of course it is.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I fucking came up with it.” He said, with a smug grin on his face.

“Okay.”

They went their separate ways.

Ashton ran over to Calum and panting he said in an urgent tone, “Calum, its Luke. Hurry!”

Calum, alarmed, quickly got to his feet.

“What happened?”

Ashton grabbed the Kiwi’s hand, “Just come on. We have to hurry!”

He pulled the boy down the hall and roughly shoved him inside an open door. Before Calum could register what was happening Ashton had closed the door and locked it. 

“Ashton! What the hell?” He tried twisting the knob, nothing. “Ashton! Let me out!”

 

Luke rushed and quickly found Michael sitting up against the wall next to a vending machine, a Monster drink in his hand. 

“Michael! Michael, there you are! It’s Ashton…He…You have to come!” He was almost in tears.

Michael quickly got to his feet, “What happened?”

“You have to come! It’s so bad!” Luke clasped their hands together pulled the colored haired boy down the hall. Finding the right door, he rammed his body into Michael’s; pushing him inside the room he –as quickly as he could – closed the door. 

“Luke! What the fuck? Let me out! Where’s Ashton? Luke! Fuck…!”

At that moment he heard an angel’s vice shouting at Ashton across the room. He turned and saw Calum banging on the door. He stopped and turned about. 

“Those fuckers.” Calum muttered as he leaned against the door. 

“How did Ashton get you here?” Michael asked.

“Told me something was wrong with Luke.”

“Yeah, Luke acted as though something bad happened to Ash.”

It was quiet for a moment before Michael said, “Cal, listen to me, I said some things to you last night that were uncalled for and I’m so, so sorry. I was just mad at myself and I took my anger out on you. I told Ashton about us last night. I don’t want to lose you. I told Ashton you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I know we’ve only known each other for short time, but I-I think I love you.”

Calum closed his eyes, tears falling. 

“I know you were scared to tell Ashton.” He opened his eyes, “He can be a real dick sometimes, but it’s just the way you acted. Were you ashamed of me?”

Michael walked over to Calum and cupped his face, “No! Never! I just let my fear get the best of me. I didn’t want to lose my best friend, but I lost my boyfriend in the process. I’m so sorry. I need you, Cal.”

Michael rested his forehead on Calum’s.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, tears falling down his own face. 

Calum let out a broken sob. 

“I just, I love you so much and I felt like you didn’t really want me. I was scared you didn’t want me anymore. And I-I…”

“Shhh. It’s okay. I love you too.”

He kissed Calum’s lips softly. 

“Will you take me back?”

Eyes closed, Calum nodded.

Michael cupped the other boy’s face and shoved Calum up against the door. Calum raised his hands to grip Michael’s hair, but Michael took hold of his hands and raised them above his head and held them against the wall. He always liked to be in control. He then pressed his body into Calum’s, trapping him. 

As he thrust his tongue into Calum’s mouth the Kiwi boy groaned, his boyfriend’s body against his and the tongue dancing all around in his mouth were too much. 

 

As soon as Luke made sure Michael couldn’t get out he ran around to where Ashton was pressed up against the door, listening. Luke joined him and together they listened to their friend’s conversation. But as soon they heard moaning they backed away and went back to the set. 

“That was really sweet of you.” Luke told him.

“I know. And I did Calum a huge favor. He won’t be a virgin much longer. I bet Michael is already fucking him against the door.”

Luke blushed madly, “Do you really think so…?”

Ashton rolled his eyes, “Too innocent.” He shook his head. 

Ashton draped an arm around Luke’s shoulders, “I should take you out.”

Luke smiled and couldn’t believe Ashton wanted to go somewhere with him willingly. 

“Maybe to a club and hook you up. I mean, there has to be some gay bars around here. Maybe Michael and Calum can take you instead. The gay scene isn’t really my thing. And after today, you’ll be the only virgin in our little group.”

Luke’s smile fell, “No thanks.” He mumbled, disgusted.

He broke away from Ashton.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t like casual sex. I’m still a virgin, because I want my first time to be with someone I love.”

Ashton didn’t know how to react to that. He’s never been in love. He has one-night stands all the time. There’s nothing wrong with that it. Luke’s just being a pussy. 

“Suit yourself!” He spat.

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Get all defensive and turn into a jerk! You and I were just getting along and having a great time and then in a blink of an eye you changed! You’re like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!”

Ashton really didn’t know what to say to that so he just yelled, “Fuck you!”

“You really need to come up some new comebacks! Fuck you is getting kind of old!”

“You are such an annoying little bitch! I can’t stand you!”

And yes it hurt to hear Ashton say those things, but for some reason Luke pressed on. 

“You’re getting a little better at it!”

“If you died no one would miss your little faggot ass! Why do you think you haven’t ever had a boyfriend? Because no one wants you!”

Luke stumbled back as if Ashton had slapped him.

Ashton smirked, “Am I a pro at comebacks yet? Because if you ask me, I think I did a pretty damn good job.”

He walked off to the set, leaving Luke standing there alone. Scalding tears nipped at Luke’s eyes and slid down his face and within a few seconds’ sobs racked his body so violently it hurt his chest. Every time he tried to breath a sob interfered and left him gasping for breath. Since no one was around to comfort him he slid his arms around his middle, holding himself as he stood there in agony. 

 

Breathing hard Michael said, “I’m going to fuck against this door.”

“Michael,” Calum moaned as his boyfriend kissed down his neck.

Michael grabbed the hem of Calum’s sweatshirt and pulled it off, only to find Calum wore nothing underneath. He moaned and began working on taking his own clothes off. In a blur their clothes were off and they were completely naked. Calum had never seen another boy – besides Luke- naked before. Calum would he lying if he said he wasn’t self-conscious. In fact, he even slid his arms around his middle, but Michael batted his arms away. 

“Don’t you dare try to hide yourself. You’re so beautiful.” He dove in for another long kiss. 

“I don’t have a condom…Or lube.”

“It’s okay.”

Michael looked at him, “I’m clean. It’s going to hurt though.”

“I know. It’ll be okay.”

“I’ll prepare you really good.”

Calum just nodded and asked, “Where, um, do you want me?”

“Just turn around, so I can prepare you.”

Calum did as he was instructed to do, bracing his hands on the door. 

He felt Michael move behind him and Calum’s heart couldn’t beat any faster. He was about to have sex! And with someone he loved and who loved him! Luke and he had always said they would give their virginity to the ones they loved. And it was finally happening for Calum.

After sucking on his fingers Michael gently and slowly slid one into his boyfriend’s tight heat. 

It didn’t hurt at all in fact it felt weird. 

“You okay?” Michael asked.

“Yes, yes, keep going.” Calum assured him. 

It was only when Michael added another finger did Calum feel pain. He whimpered, and couldn’t imagine how Michael was going fit his cock in him. 

“Tell me if you want to stop, babe.”

“I don’t,” Calum inhaled a ragged breath. “Just keep going. I’m fine.” 

Michael scissored his fingers inside the boy and moved them in and out a few times, letting Calum adjust. Finally after many minutes of wondering if it would ever feel good Calum moaned. 

“God, Michael, Michael, please.” 

This boy would definitely be the death of him, Michael thought as he slid his fingers out of the Kiwi boy. 

“Ready?” Michael licked his lips. 

“Yes, Michael, God yes.”

Michael lined himself up with Calum’s entrance and slowly slid the tip in. Calum closed his eyes tightly. Every so often Michael would stop and let the other boy adjust.

“You okay, babe?” Grunted Michael.

“Y-yeah, I’m f-fine.” Calum stuttered. He had never been in a position like this before. His heart was beating so erratically he was afraid it might burst. Could that really happen? Should he ask Michael to stop so he can go to the hospital? No, he would be fine. 

Once Michael’s cock was completely surrounded by Calum’s heat he waited, letting his boyfriend have plenty of time to adjust. Just when he couldn’t take waiting a second later Calum gasped, “Michael! Go, move, do something, please!”

Michael didn’t need to be told twice. He pulled almost all the way out, before thrusting back in. Calum practically screamed. Michael had never had heard anything better than Calum moaning his name. 

With every thrust Calum moaned and groaned, while Michael breathed heavily. Finally Calum screamed, “MICHAEL!” And Michael couldn’t help but to smile, because he had found the other boy’s prostate. 

“Right there! C-can you do that again, please Michael, please!” Calum begged. 

“Of course, babe.” Michael moved a little to where he knew he would hit that special spot again and again. 

“Michael, I’m not going to last much longer.”

And Michael was surprised Calum held out this long. This was his first time.

“It’s alright, babe. Just let go.” Michael grunted as he ground his hips into Calum’s backside.

Calum finally released onto the door. Michael thrust as hard and as fast as he could. He wanted Calum to feel good, better than good. 

But hearing Calum scream his name as he came was just a bit too much for the color haired boy. He released inside the other boy. His thrusts were off and had no rhythm. As he came down from his high Michael rested his forehead on the spot between Calum’s shoulder blades. 

“That was awesome.” Breathed Calum. 

“You can say that again.”

Waiting another moment or two before slowly pulling out of Calum. They both winced at how tender they felt. Calum turned around to face him and Michael couldn’t help but to admire the boy’s beauty. 

Calum giggled, “What?”

“You’re just so beautiful.” And he leaned and captured his lips. 

Calum gently pushed him away and he had a small wince on his face.

“What’s wrong?” Michael asked. 

“I need to clean up. You’re, uh, cum is…” He looked down. 

Michael gently turned Calum around again to see his own cum leaking from his backside. Michael would be lying if he said it wasn’t turning him on. He had to bite back a moan. 

Glancing around the room he looked for something to clean the poor boy up with. Finally his eyes landed on some water bottles and paper towels. It was better than nothing. Grabbing up the towels and a water bottle he walked back to his boyfriend. 

Untwisting the cap, he poured some water on a couple of towel folded over. Calum turned around and braced his hands on either side of the door, on the doorframe. Michael kneeled down and gently ran the towel down Calum’s left leg. Calum let out a small gasp at how cold it was. Michael moved it gently and slowly down one leg before moving onto the next. He then dabbed Calum’s hole, Calum shivering as he did so. 

“There,” Michael said as he stood, “All done.”

Calum turned and brought a hand up to Michael’s neck. Smiling he said, “I’m glad you were my first.”

“I want to be your last.” Michael said seriously.

Calum leaned up and kissed the color haired boy. When they parted Michael chuckled softly.

“What?” Grinned Calum.

“Luke’s the only virgin now.”

Calum playfully hit his boyfriend’s chest. “Don’t mention my best friend when we just had sex!”

 

Ashton was back to being an asshole to Luke. And to make things worse when Roy came to pick them up from the studio he had an announcement. 

“Okay boys, as you all know we’re changing film locations tomorrow. And to make things easier we are switching hotels to be closer to the set. Michael, Calum, you two will be sharing a room.”

Calum and Michael, who were clasping hands, look to one another smiled.

He looked over to the other boys, but stopped when he took in Luke’s appearance, he continued nonetheless, “Luke, Ashton, you two will be sharing a room, and a bed in fact.”

“What? No fucking way!” Ashton yelled.

Roy narrowed his eyes at him, “And here I thought your attitude was changing.”

Ashton crossed his arms over his chest.

“I have worried about you two sleeping in separate beds ever since we arrived. This way, in case it gets out where we’re staying then I have nothing to worry about. We will stay there even a little while after Ashton’s movie is done. So, get used to it Ashton.”

Roy draped an arm over Luke’s shoulders as they walked to the van, “Luke my boy, are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Luke whispered, “I’m fine.”

“You can talk to me about anything, you know.”

Luke tried to smile, and he did for a half a second, “Thanks.”

When they made it to the van Roy asked, “Calum, are you alright? You’re limping.”

Calum blushed, while Michael snickered. Luke bit his lip to keep from laughing and Ashton looked at them in disgust. 

A little while later as they rode up in the elevator of their hotel Roy said, “Go to your rooms and pack. We’ll be going to the new hotel soon. I’ve already booked your rooms.”

Inside Luke and Ashton’s room Ashton stormed back and forth around the room, grabbing up his things roughly and then shoving them into his bags. Luke did his best to stay out of his way. 

On his way over to his suitcase – which was open on his bed – Ashton bumped into him, hard. Luke stumbled. 

“You’re so immature!”

“Oh, a rematch, huh? Want to try to win some of your dignity back?”

“What is your problem?” Luke yelled. 

“You really want to know what my problem is? My problem is you! I fucking hate you! I never wanted this; Roy insisted he hire a fake boyfriend. It was either clean up or go to rehab. I obviously didn’t want to go there. But being stuck here with you is worse! I can’t drink without you following me or running off to tell Roy, like a little trained bitch! I haven’t even gotten laid since you came in and fucked up my life!”

“I needed this job! I’m trying to help my mother! I don’t know what to do anymore! If I am even trying to help you, you treat me like shit! The other night at the party you were great! You were happy, I was happy! And even today we got Cal and Michael back together. But you went all Mr. Hyde on me! Your split personalities are giving me whiplash! I can’t keep up!”

Ashton was beyond fuming now. His fists clenched at his sides. And Luke noticed. 

“You wanna hit me? Go ahead. Do it! Hit me! It will make you feel better, am I right?” Luke used as much sarcasm as he could muster. 

Ashton moved closer to Luke, but before anything happened there was a knock on the door. Luke met Ashton’s eyes for a split second before slipping passed him and over to the door. Opening it he saw Calum and Michael, their bags at their feet. 

Calum smiled sweetly at Luke, “Hey, ready to go?”

Luke forced a smile, “Almost.”

“Everything okay?” Michael asked when he saw Ashton’s clenched fists.

“Fine and dandy!” Ashton said in a fake happy voice. 

Michael and Calum looked at him before turning their attention to Luke. Luke quickly looked down and stuffed more clothes into his bag, not in the mood to explain his and Ashton’s problems to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Kudos, review? Just anything to let me know you liked it~


	11. I feel so lonely when I'm in a crowded space

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Sorry for the long wait! I want to apologize in advance for this chapter! It's horrible -_- I'm sorry.~

Luke and Ashton stumbled into their new room. They immediately dropped their bags on the floor. It looked just like their old room, except there was only one bed and carpet was emerald green instead of maroon. 

Ashton eyed the bed as if it had committed some horrible crime. 

“So,” Luke said in a sassy voice, “What side do you want?” 

Grumbling Ashton walked over and threw himself on the right, closest to the door. 

“Guess that answers my question.” Mumbled Luke. 

It was pretty late and neither of the boys had enough energy to take showers. By the time Luke changed into a pair of sweats and t-shirt Ashton had already stripped down to his boxers and was lying down on the bed. 

“Not afraid I’ll try and make a move on you?” Luke asked rudely. He just so tired of Ashton’s attitude. 

Ashton looked up from his phone with a glare, but didn’t say anything. 

Luke got into bed, doing his best to keep his distance. Ashton played on his phone for a little while longer before turning the lamp off. 

Luke did the same and turned away from Ashton. Just sharing a room with Ashton had been bad enough. But sharing a bed? What the hell was Roy thinking? Was he secretly a Lashton shipper? Because, really, this was a bad idea. 

 

In the room across the hall from them Calum and Michael lay naked in bed. They just had their second round of lovemaking. Michael was much more gentle with Calum this time. He knew Calum would definitely be sore in the morning. 

“I love you.” Calum said breathlessly. 

Michael, whose face was buried in Calum’s neck, grinned and mumbled, “I love you too.” 

He picked his head up and looked down at the Kiwi beauty. 

“Hey, do you think Luke is okay? He seemed really shaken up earlier.”

Calum sighed softly, “I don’t know. Ashton probably said or did something to him. I’m getting really sick and tired of his bullshit. I swear the next time he does something I am going to rearrange his face! I don’t care if he has to make his stupid movie. Luke is more important.”

“I agree. But don’t hit Ash. I’ll talk to him tomorrow and see if I can get him to come around. Okay?”

“You better or else I will put him in the hospital and it would be hard for us to have sex while I’m in jail.”

Michael laughed and said, “I love you so much.” 

“We’ll see, it depends if you keep me out of jail or not.” 

“I promise to keep you out of jail.” 

They shared a kiss, smiling into it.

 

When Luke awoke the next morning he was lying on his side, facing Ashton. Ashton was asleep on his back with one arm behind his head and the other stretched over his stomach. He admired the older man for a few moments before getting out of bed. 

He took a shower and when he got out Ashton was still asleep. Sighing, he knew he had to wake him. Well, he didn’t have to. But if Ashton weren’t awake by the time Roy came then Roy would be yell and chew Ashton out. 

Sometimes, Luke hated being the caring person he is. Ashton has treated him like shit since day one. Walking over to him Luke gently shook his shoulder. 

“Ashton, get up. Roy will be coming soon.”

Ashton groaned, “Why are you still here?”

“Cause I get pleasure out of you treating me badly.” Luke answered sarcastically. “Now, get up.” 

“No.” Ashton pulled the blanket up over his head. 

Luke grabbed the end of the blanket and jerked it off the other boy.

Ashton mumbled, “Fuck you.”

“No thanks.” Luke muttered and finished getting dressed. 

It was quiet between them as Ashton rolled out of bed and dressed and as Luke played on his phone as he laid in their bed. Luke knew it was going to be a long day, but its always a long day whenever he was with Ashton. 

Thirty minutes later Luke was letting Roy and the boys into their room. Calum indeed had a small limp. It made Luke blush for some reason. Maybe it was because he would die of embarrassment if he had a limp after losing his virginity or maybe it was because he was the only virgin in their small group now. Whatever the case, Luke kept his head down as he sat on the edge of their bed. 

“So, how did you two sleep last night?” Michael asked Ashton with wink and a smirk. “You know, since you’re sharing a bed now.” 

“Fuck you Michael.” Ashton grumbled as he looked for his black bandana. He had been looking for it for the past ten minutes and was growing more irritated by the minute. 

“What are you looking for?” Luke asked and for some reason it made Ashton more irritated. 

“Black bandana.” 

“It’s in the bathroom.” 

Ashton walked into the bathroom and sure enough it was folded neatly on the counter top. He knew for a fact that he wasn’t the one that folded it, so Luke had to have done it. Shaking his head he thought once again about how girly Luke was. 

He walked out of the bathroom tying it around his forehead. 

“Ready to go?” Roy asked looking to all of the boys. They all nodded. 

Michael and Calum left once they got to the studio to go off and do only God knows what in the city, which meant Luke would be a lone again. He knew Calum didn’t mean to leave him. Luke couldn’t be happier for his best friend. 

“Hey Luke.” Lou said walking over to him with Lux on her hip.

“Can I play with her for a while?” He asked. 

“Of course.” She smiled sweetly as she handed her over. Luke sat the little girl down on his lap. She messed his fingers and it made him smile. Maybe today won’t be so bad after all. 

“Just bring her back when you want.”

Luke had no intention of giving her back any time soon. Lux was really sweet to him and Luke doesn’t get sweet in his life nowadays. Sure, Roy was nice to him, but he was busy all the time, and Calum and Michael were so wrapped up in each other to really have any time for him. 

So, Lux was it for him. 

An hour later Lou came over told Luke her husband was here to take her and Lux out to lunch. Luke reluctantly handed the little girl over. Lou gave him a smile before kissing his head. 

Luke let out a sigh before pushing himself up. He just couldn’t sit there all day again with no one to talk to, might as well explore a little. 

Walking around the studio was entertaining. He saw some actors and actresses rehearsing for some musical, a big woman round woman with a huge lilac wig carrying a poodle – Luke hoped that was for a movie – and there were millions of props and backdrops. 

There were a few celebrities he recognized, but didn’t care much for. Finally after a couple of hours he walked into a room with a young boy that couldn’t be too much older than him. He was handsome with dark brown hair. He had a nice smile. He was sitting on an emerald green couch messing with his phone. 

“Hey.” 

“Uh hi. I’m sorry, I’ve just been wondering around. I didn’t mean to disturb-”

“You didn’t. I’m on my break now. My name is Miles Teller.” He stood and held his hand out. Luke took it. 

“Luke, uh Hemmings.” Luke glanced down at the ground, shyly. 

“Nice to meet you Luke. Are you working on a movie or something?”

Luke let out a nervous laugh, “The only thing I’m famous for is being Ashton Irwin’s boyfriend.”

Miles winced, “Oh, man. Damn, uh how is that?”

Luke shrugged. He was supposed to gush over Ashton, tell people how wonderful he is. But Luke’s heart just wasn’t in it at the moment.

“It’s okay. He’s filming right now. I’m pretty bored, so I’ve just been walking around.” He had to change the subject. “Um, so, you look familiar?”

“I uh, play Peter in the Divergent movies, and I’m in 21 and Over, uh, I’m up for the role of Mr. Fantastic in Fantastic Four.”

Luke groaned, “That’s right!” He smiled, “Sorry.”

Miles smiled, “It’s no big deal. Don’t worry about it. Look, my break just started, do you want to get something to eat?”

“I don’t think I’m supposed to leave. What if someone sees us and thinks I’m cheating on Ashton or something.”

Miles chuckled, “Okay, okay. I’ll order a pizza.”

Luke grinned, “Sounds great.”  
Happiness spread over Luke’s chest. He was getting to spend time with someone who was really nice. 

They talked, waiting for the pizza to arrive. Sitting on the couch they laughed and Luke really enjoyed himself that is until Miles asked something that made Luke’s heart stop.

“What’s really going on with you and Ashton? I mean,” Miles brought his elbow to rest on the head of the couch and then rested the side of his head in his hand, “No offense, but Ashton is…”

“A jerk?”

“Yeah, a jerk. And you…” He looked for the right words, “You’re sweet, and shy and innocent. How does that work?”

Luke shrugged. What if Miles found out what was really going on and told everyone?

“C’mon, tell me. I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” Had he read Luke’s mind? 

“We’re not really together.” Luke admitted. “His manager hired me to help clean his image. Ashton is the biggest and meanest asshole I have ever met. I’m nothing but nice to him and he treats me like shit. And you’re going to think I’m sick in the head when I tell you that I actually like him and wouldn’t mind if we were actually boyfriends. I hate that he treats me so badly, but that isn’t who he truly is. I can tell.” Luke rambled on and on and when he finished he felt stupid.

Miles looked at him for a long time, processing what Luke told him. He licked his lips before saying, “Damn, I’m so sorry, Luke. I don’t think you’re sick in the head. If you can see Ashton for whom he really is that’s great! And I know we haven’t known each other that long, but you seem like a really good guy. And you don’t deserve for Ashton to treat you badly.”

“I didn’t mean,” Luke shook his head, “To just dump all of that on you. I’m sorry.”

“You shouldn’t keep it all in. It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

“Do you have any confessions?” Luke joked. 

“I do in fact. I am in love with my co-star.”

Luke quickly looked up to him, “Really?”

Miles nodded, “Yeah, Shailene Woodley. She’s really beautiful and smart. I first met her when we worked on the Spectacular Now. I just fell for her. She’s dating our co-star Theo James though.” He chuckled nervously before saying, “I haven’t ever told anyone that.”

“I’m sorry.” Luke said bringing his hands together and sliding them between his knees nervously. “I wish it could be different for you.”

“I wish the same for you and Ashton.”

Luke shrugged, “Sometimes he’s really cool and nice to be around, but then he changes in a second. And he’s rude and crude. I don’t understand.”

“Has he ever hurt you? I’ve heard about his anger problem in magazines.” 

Luke was quiet for a long time before replying, “Yeah, a couple of times. But its nothing I can’t handle.”

“He can’t get away with that, Luke. Its not right.”

“Please don’t tell anyone about us. If word gets out then all these months would have been for nothing. I’ve endured too much for it all to go to waste.”

“You have my word. I won’t tell a soul.”

“Thanks.” 

The pizza arrived and they talked about more pleasant things like movies and family and music.

Hours passed before Luke realized that Miles had just been on break. 

“Miles, how long is your break exactly?”

“Someone just comes in to get me when my scenes come up.”

Luke smiled hugely and with a blush said, “I have confession. I um, haven’t seen any of your movies.”

“What?” Miles yelled with his huge Miles Teller smile. “Well, it is your job to watch at least one of them by the next time I see you, which is tomorrow!” 

Luke smiled again at the thought of seeing his new friend again. He wouldn’t be alone. 

“Okay, which one?”

Miles shrugged a shoulder, “Doesn’t matter as long as you get to say you’ve seen my oh-so brilliant acting skills.” 

“Alright, I promise.”

The door opened and a bald thin man with a headset on said, “Hey Miles, you’re up.”

“Okay.” He stood, as well as Luke. 

“Give me your number and I’ll text you. That way right when you see my acting you can text me and brag about how amazing I am.” Miles joked. 

After giving Miles his number the actor left. Luke felt really happy. He had a new friend and he wouldn’t be alone at the studio when Calum and Michael ran off and Lux couldn’t play. 

With his hands in his pockets he walked out of the room with a grin on his face. When he walked back to Ashton’s set he saw Michael on the couch elbows resting on his knees, Calum seemed to be pacing while Roy was on his phone, and Ashton leaned against the wall looking like his usual pissed off self. 

“What’s going on?” He asked. 

Everyone looked over to him. Calum relaxed and ran over to him. He threw his arms around Luke’s neck, “Thank God you’re okay! We were so worried about you!” Before Luke could even register what was happening Calum jerked away from, his face angry. 

“Where the hell have you been?”

“We all called you Luke,” Roy said sternly. “But you didn’t answer. We thought something happened.”

“Does your phone work?” Calum asked, anger still evident in his voice. 

“What? Uh yeah.”

“Then why didn’t you answer us? Or even let one of know where you were! You could have been lying dead in a ditch somewhere! Or you could have raped or hurt and we wouldn’t have known!”

“Cal, I’m sorry. I-” 

“No! You worried me to death!” Calum’s voice was suddenly thick and tears shown in his eyes. “I didn’t now where you were.” 

“I’m sorry.” Guilt seeped into Luke’s entire being and he didn’t know what to do or say. 

“I was just lonely by myself and I wondered around the set and talked to some people. I thought I was just gone about two hours. And-”

“Four.”

“What?”

“You were gone four hours, Luke.” 

Had it really been that long? Times goes by when you’re having fun. 

“I won’t do it again. I promise. I’m so sorry.” He addressed everyone. 

Ashton pushed himself up off the wall and made his way over to him, “We should have gone back to the hotel an hour ago. So, thanks for that, faggot.” 

Luke whipped his head to the side, as if he had been slapped. He had been in such a good mood and Ashton just tore it down within just a couple sentences. And Luke knows he shouldn’t let words hurt him like this, but it was just hard not to. 

Calum wrapped an arm around Luke’s shoulders, “That’s enough, Irwin.” He spat out Irwin. 

Ashton rolled his eyes, “Can we just go now?”

They loaded up in the van and Roy drove them back to the hotel. Luke folded into himself, crossing his arms over himself tightly and leaning against the cool window. He thought he found some kind of rock today, befriending Miles, but then he had made everyone worry about him. It seems like since meeting Ashton he just can never do the right thing. 

It was quiet while Luke and Ashton got ready for bed. Luke didn’t know which he preferred, the silence or Ashton yelling at him. Either way he was miserable. 

He couldn’t fall asleep for the longest time. The moon bled through the blinds and cast streaks of light across the room. He let out a small sigh. 

Ashton shifted in his sleep; his back was to him. 

Luke grabbed his phone and text Miles. 

_I got in trouble for being away today. So, I didn’t get to watch any of your movies. Sorry!_

_It’s okay! Don’t worry about it, dude! Sorry you got in trouble! See ya tomorrow?_

_Sure._

Luke grinned as he sat his phone down. He has a friend he can go to now when Calum and Michael ran off and Ashton was being a real asshole. He was excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~What did you think?~


	12. Yeah, we're so disconnected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~I just can never get these chapters out fast enough. I hope I didn't lose any readers for not updating in a while. Good news I'm already working on the next chapter.~

Luke awoke to a very thin stream of light coming in between the curtains. That was the first thing he noticed. The second thing he noticed was that he was very warm, which is odd. Ashton likes to keep the AC turned down to 68 degrees. Luke always wakes up freezing. But this morning he was very warm. 

Maybe he had stolen the blanket in the night and cocooned himself in. No, that wasn’t it. Luke had never felt warmth like this while in bed. Trying to turn over and see what was keeping him so warm, he found he couldn’t move. And that set in a small amount of panic in Luke’s chest. It woke him up fully. And that’s when he realized Ashton Irwin was spooned behind him.

Luke’s face went red and he bit his lip ring. This was nice. It felt nice. Luke knew if he got up then he would wake Ashton and Ashton would freak out on him. If Luke stayed like this and waited for Ashton to wake up then it would have the same outcome. So, Luke decided to bask in this nice gesture and stay where he is. 

Luke dozed off within minutes. It wasn’t much later that he heard voices. 

“Aw! They look so cute!” Was that Calum?

“I know! I hate to wake them!” And Michael?

Luke was still half asleep and didn’t have the willpower to wake himself up fully to tell them fuck off. 

SNAP.

Luke let out a small groan. 

“Hurry, take some more before Luke wakes up!” Calum whisper-shouts. 

“I already took ten!” 

“Alright, you two, you’ve had your fun. Wake them.” And Roy was there. 

“HEY!” Michael shouted, “You two lovebirds get up!” 

“What the fuck Michael?” Ashton groaned into Luke’s neck.

Luke’s eyes popped open. Ashton was really behind him, his arm was draped over him and his face was buried into Luke’s neck. Turning his head ever so slightly he saw he was correct. He and Ashton were spooning. He let out another small groan, knowing what was going to come next.

“Oh, what the fuck!” Ashton said loudly, untangling himself from Luke quickly. He had his permanent frown set onto his features. 

Luke slowly sat up in bed; he glanced over at the older boy. Ashton was very sexy in the morning. His sandy blonde hair was untamed and Luke just wanted run his fingers through it. 

“Don’t worry, lovebirds. I took pictures, so we would remember it forever!” Michael said with a smile. “And I posted one on Instagram so that the world will remember it forever!” He flashed his phone at them. 

Luke took it from him and looked at the picture. He felt Ashton hovering over his shoulder. In the picture Ashton’s body was pressed up against the back of Luke’s, the actor had an arm thrown lazily over the blonde’s waist and Ashton’s face was buried deep in Luke’s blonde hair. 

At the bottom Michael wrote, _Found these two lovebirds this morning! ;)_

He tagged Ashton, Luke, and Calum in it. 

“Okay,” Roy said with a clap of his hands, “We have to be at the studio in an hour! Chop, chop!” 

 

They had been at the studio for two hours before Ashton got to take a small twenty-minute break. 

He was talking to Michael about something; Luke wasn’t paying much attention. Calum was on his phone playing a game. 

“Luke!” Someone shouted. It caused all four boys to look up. 

It was Miles. He was dressed in all black; Luke guessed it was for his movie. He grinned and stood. 

“Hi Miles.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Ashton was suddenly beside Luke. 

“Just came to talk to Luke. We’re friends. Is that going to be a problem?”

“Yeah, since when?”

“Since yesterday.”

Ashton looked to Luke. “You were with him yesterday?”

Luke looked down and bit his lip ring, “Um, yeah, for a little bit.” 

“We just talked, dude, chill out.” Miles explained. 

“What’s going on?” Calum whispered to his boyfriend. 

“That’s Miles Teller. He and Ashton both went up for a part in the Divergent series, but Miles got the part and ever since then Ashton has hated him.” Michael whispered back. 

“If you know what’s best for you then I suggest you stay as far away from me and anyone around me.” Ashton spat. 

“Luke is not your property.” Miles said in almost a sassy way. His smile didn’t help Ashton’s anger either. “He’s a person and if he wants to hang out on my break then he can.” He looked at the blonde boy as he said this. 

Luke liked that Miles remained cool and calm through the whole conversation while Ashton was absolutely fuming. They were polar opposites. 

“Well, he doesn’t want to hang out with you.” Ashton shot back. 

Miles looked to Ashton, with that Teller smile still on his face, “Luke is big boy, Ashton. He can speak for himself.” 

Ashton clenched his fists and his face was twisted into a horribly angry and red face. Luke noticed this. He really didn’t want Ashton to hurt Miles. Miles had a nice face and he was in the middle of filming a movie. Besides, it’s in his contract that he keep Ashton from doing anything stupid. 

He held onto Ashton’s tight fist until it loosened and Ashton held onto Luke’s hand for dear life. 

“I don’t want any trouble.” He mumbled, looking to the floor. 

“Okay,” Miles said. He didn’t want Luke to suffer Ashton’s wrath. “Alright, well, I’ll text you later. Okay Luke?”

Luke looked up to him and smiled with a nod. Miles smiled hugely at him before walking off. 

Ashton jerked his hand from look and turned to look at him, “You are not to talk to him!”

“Why not? We’re just friends!”

“Not as long as you’re with me!” He stepped closer to Luke and said more quietly, “Fake relationship or not. I don’t want rumors going around that you’re cheating on me. If there is going to be anyone cheating, it’s going to be me. It’s been a while since I had a good fuck anyway.”

“You’re not supposed to be going out…doing those things.” Luke felt stupid all of a sudden.

“I haven’t gotten laid in a little over two months because of you. I think its about time, don’tcha think?” He smirked. 

How did they even get to this topic? Does Ashton know about his crush on him and just wants to hurt him? 

“I’ll tell Ron.”

“You do and you’re dead. Do understand me?”

“If you won’t allow me to do my job, which is to keep your sorry ass in line, or even be happy, then the least you could do is let me talk to who I want.”

Ashton looked as if he was about to start cursing again when he was called to the set. He just glared at the blonde before stomping off. 

Luke ignored Calum and Michael and walked off. He needed to talk with Miles. It would make Ashton angry, but Ashton is always angry. There is no pleasing him. 

 

Miles was sitting flipping through a magazine on the couch in a dressing room. 

“Luke,” He smiled as said boy entered the room, “Hey.”

“Hi.” 

Miles stood, “Everything okay? I didn’t get you in any trouble did I?”

“Ashton is always angry. So,” He shrugged his shoulders. 

“I’m sorry about him. But um, listen, I was just informed that we’re moving filming locations. We’re packing up and heading out to Illinois tonight.”

Luke’s heart jolted. His only sanctuary was leaving. 

“Well,” Luke said with a fake smile, “That’s neat.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“What are you sorry for? This is your job.” 

“I don’t know. I just, hate Ashton so much. He’s an ass.”

“It’ll be okay. I’ve handled him this long.”

“How much longer is this charade going on?”

“A little over two months.”

Miles winced, “Damn. That’s must feel like a little over two years.” 

“No, much longer.” Luke gave a nervous laugh. 

“I’m sorry, man.” Miles went in for a bro-hug, but Luke latched onto him, just needing comfort from someone. He would have hugged Kristen Stewart at this point. 

“I hope everything works out with you and Shailene.” Luke told him. He wanted to tell Miles that before leaving. At least one of them should be happy. 

“Me too.” Miles mumbled. 

After saying talking for a while and then saying their goodbyes Luke left the room to go back to his own little hellhole. 

“Luke!” Miles said from the doorway, “Good luck with Ashton. You’re strong enough to handle this.”

Luke didn’t reply, didn’t smile or laugh. He just turned around and kept walking, because the truth is; Luke wasn’t strong enough. He was nowhere near close enough to handle Ashton. 

Luke sat down on the couch besides Michael. Calum was on the other side of Michael. 

“Hey, Luke. Are you okay?” The Kiwi asked. 

Luke was unraveling the earphones from his IPod Classic. “I’m fine.” He said quietly as he put the buds in his ears. The thing is Luke was so very far from fine. He blasted All Time Low for a while, listening to most of his favorites in hopes that it would make him feel better. 

It didn’t. 

 

A few hours later Roy came up to them, “Hey boys, have any of you seen Ashton?”

Michael frowned, “He’s not on the set?”

Roy shook his head, “No. I can’t find him. We were supposed to be back at the hotel half an hour ago.”

“Did you try calling him?” Luke asked. 

“I have.” Roy sighed. “Well, no use of keeping you three here. I’ll drive you back to the hotel so you can get some sleep. Then I’ll figure out what to do about Ashton.”

Luke was exhausted beyond belief. Not so much physically just mentally. Sliding the plastic card into the slot he waited for the light to turn from red to green. He then opened the door. He rubbed a hand over his face, which moved to scratch his scalp. 

He couldn’t wait to literally fall in bed and sleep. He knew he should be worrying about where the heck Ashton could be. But Luke knew he was just out getting drunk off his ass somewhere. He was glad Roy didn’t scold him for not keeping an eye on the actor. But Roy understood how out of control Ashton could be. 

Stepping from the short hallway and out into the room he noticed that there was a trail of clothes leading from where he stood to the bed. He knew for a fact that Ashton didn’t wear hot pink lacey underwear and he sure as hell didn’t. 

He was afraid to look at the bed. He knew he would regret it. But he did anyway. What he saw made him physically sick, but he pushed it back down. Ashton was sprawled on the bed on his stomach, his arm draped over the too thin waist of some leggy brunette. They were both asleep and Luke thanked God he had walked in on them asleep rather than…Luke stumbled back and quickly fled from the room. There are some things you just can’t un-see. 

Across the hall he rapidly knocked on his friends’ door. Calum answered. His smile fell when he saw Luke’s distressed face. He opened the door more, “Hey, Luke. Are you okay?” He gently took hold of the blonde’s hand and tugged him inside. 

Michael was laid on the bed with an Alternate Press Magazine open. He put it down and sat up when Luke entered the room. 

“Um,” Luke’s voice was shaky. “C-can I stay, here, tonight?”

“Of course you can.” Calum said. “What’s wrong?”

“I-It’s just Ashton.” Luke took a deep breath to calm himself. He was doing everything in his power to not cry. He’s cried so much since getting this job. 

“He’s in your room? What did he do now?”

Luke shook his head, tears forming in his eyes and he choked back a sob. Calum’s fists clenched tightly. 

“That’s it.” He muttered angrily and walked passed Luke. Michael jumped off the bed and ran as fast as Quicksilver to the door. 

“Babe, don’t. Just calm down.”

“How can I be calm, Michael? Your so-called best friend is a complete asshole! Look at Luke,” He gestured over to the blonde boy trying to keep it together. “This is because of Ashton! Luke doesn’t deserve this!”

“I-I know! Okay? I have no control over Ashton! He doesn’t listen to me anymore.”

“He’ll listen after I beat his ass!”

“Just stop, baby, please?” He looked over to Luke, “What did he do this time, Luke?”

“Nothing.” Luke’s voice was thick and hardly understandable. “I’m just being stupid.”

“No,” Calum’s voice was so sweet and soft as he made his way over to him. He wrapped Luke up in his arms, “What happened?”

“Ashton is in bed with a girl.”

That struck a cord in Michael. He saw red. “Where’s your key, Luke?”

“Huh?” He picked his head up from Calum’s chest. 

“Your key, where is it?” His voice was hard and forceful that it made Calum shiver. 

Sniffing Luke dug in his pockets until he pulled out the white card with the hotel name on it.

Michael snatched it from him. “Stay here.” He quickly left the room and walked across the hall. Opening the door with the key card he burst into the room. It startled Ashton and the girl awake. 

“What the fuck Michael!” Ashton yelled angrily. 

“Get out!” Michael screamed at the girl. She stumbled out of bed. She was completely naked. Scooping up her clothes she barely had time to slip into her bra and panties before Michael shoved her out of the room. 

Turning back around Ashton stood in his boxers.

“Why the hell did you do that for?” The actor asked. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you Irwin? Huh? You’re supposed to be doing better!”

“I have been doing better! I stopped cutting, and I don’t really drink anymore. I haven’t gotten laid in _months_! You have no idea how hard that is!”

“I lost my virginity when I was 16, Ashton! I haven’t had sex since then! I know what it’s like to go a long time without sex.”

Ashton rolled his eyes, “You’re fucking that Asian’s brains out every night!”

_Kiwi. Not Asian._ Michael thought. “Don’t you dare talk about Calum right now!”

Walking around the room Ashton looked like he was looking for something. He bent over and retrieved a whisky bottle. There was only a little left. He untwisted the cap and before taking a long swig of it he said, “So, I’m guessing Hemmings ran off and tattled on me.”

“He came to Calum and me because he didn’t have a place to sleep!”

Throwing head back he finished the bottle. It was only then that Michael finally understood. “You’re never going to change. You’re always going to be the rude, alcoholic who sleeps with anything that wears a skirt.” He gaze went to floor, his friend being too painful to look at. 

He licked his lips before looking back up. Ashton snorted, “Whatever you say man. I’m just having fun. I’m young. You’re young. You shouldn’t be so uptight all the time.”

Michael gripped at his hair, “Why are you like this? I’ve tried to help you, Roy has tried, and sweet, innocent Luke has done everything he could to help you! You’re ruining that poor boy! And you don’t even care!”

“He needs to fucking grow a pair! I’ve tried being nice. I offered to take him out, find some girl for him to fuck. He wouldn’t have it! He’s a fucking prude, not to mention annoying and just so fucking girly! He’s just some faggot I have to put up with!”

“That _faggot_ helped you to stop fucking cutting yourself! And-”

“I could have stopped any time I wanted. I just didn’t feel like him running off to bitch at Roy. He’s just a waste of space, good for nothing faggot.”

It happened in a blink of an eye. Michael grabbed Ashton by the front of his shirt, and slammed him into the wall. 

“You’re going to regret saying any of that!”

He punched Ashton in the stomach, then hit his face a couple of times. Michael was absolutely seething at the moment. Breathing hard he let Ashton slide down the wall. Ashton was cupping his nose, blood seeping through the cracks between his fingers. 

“I don’t know what to do anymore, Ash.” Michael said quietly before turning and leaving the battered and bruised boy to his thoughts. 

 

When the color haired boy returned to his room Luke was sprawled out in his boxers and one of Calum’s shirts. Calum was lying beside him playing on his phone. Calum quickly got up when Michael entered the room. 

“What happened?”

Michael just enveloped the smaller boy in his arms tightly. He inhaled the Kiwi’s scent. “I didn’t mean to.”

Before Calum could question him Michael continued, “I didn’t want to hurt him. We’ve been best friends forever. But he just said some things that were uncalled for. He pissed me off to no end. I hit him, a few times. I’ve never hit anyone before.” 

Calum held on to his boyfriend for dear life. “It’s okay. He might have needed this. It might be like a wake up call.” 

“Maybe.” He mumbled into the other’s shoulder. “How’s Luke?”

“He finally cried himself out.” Calum sighed, finally breaking away from his boyfriend to look back at his best friend. “I don’t know what to do anymore, Michael.” Calum admitted. “Ashton is tearing Luke down to nothing. Luke is a strong person, he really is.” 

And Michael had no doubt about that. He’s put up with Ashton’s abuse this long. 

Calum continued, “And I just don’t know how more he can take before he reaches his breaking point.”

Michael hoped that Luke could just hold on a few more months. Then they could all go back home to good ole’ Australia and Luke would never have to deal with Ashton again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Leave some feedback? If I still have any readers?~


	13. Knowing what you did in my heart doesn't feel right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Woo! Here's the next chapter! I had a little writer's block, but I just kept pushing myself to keep writing so I could update again. Faster than I have in the past! Although I'm not too sure what to do for next chapter. I have ideas. I know exactly how I'm going to finish this story though. It won't be finished for a while though!~

The next morning Luke awoke earlier than his friends. He laid in bed confused as to why he was in Calum and Michael’s room before he remembered. He wishes he hadn’t. He pushed himself up and got dressed the clothes he wore yesterday. Slipping his hands into his pockets he couldn’t find his key card. He remembered giving it to Michael. Internally groaning he looked around the room quietly. It was on the nightstand between the two beds. Glancing over at his two friends he smiled. Michael was wrapped around the Kiwi, his face buried in Calum’s black hair. They’re cute together. 

He still couldn't help but to feel slightly jealous any time he sees them do something couple-like. Luke has always wanted that. But he never found someone he wanted that with. Now that he had, he can't have that person. 

Luke’s anxiety was through the roof as he crossed the hall. His hands were sweaty and he could barely hold the card tight enough as he slid it into the slot above the door handle. Ashton was asleep in bed and there was no trace that there had been a girl in the room. Luke thanked the good Lord for that. 

Sighing he stepped into the bathroom and began stripping. He took quite a long shower. He just needed it. He wished he could scrub the vision of Ashton in bed with that girl from his brain. If he could do that then he would wash away any rude thing Ashton had said or did to him. He would keep all the good times they had together, which weren't many. 

He dressed in black skinny jeans, a black shirt with a black and red flannel shirt over it; left unbuttoned. He fixed his hair and then slipped into his pair of all black converse. When he finished he looked at his phone. It was time for Ashton to get up. He sighed again not mentally ready for this; not ready to handle Ashton all day long again. Walking over to the sleeping boy he gently shook his shoulder. Ashton groaned into the pillow. 

“M’getting up.”

 _No fight? No cursing and yelling? This is nice._ Luke thought as he stepped back to sit on his bed. Luke played on his phone for a couple of minutes while Ashton tried to wake fully.

The actor finally stood, went to the bathroom, and changed into his clothes for the day before Luke finally made himself look at him. Luke gasped when he saw the other boy’s fat bottom lip, black eye and swollen nose. 

“What happened?” Luke stood and cupped the actor’s face to get a better look. Ashton simply stepped out of his reach, Luke’s hands falling away from his face. 

“Don’t wanna talk about it,” Muttered Ashton. 

Luke’s phone dinged. Looking at it he saw it was Roy. 

_We’re down in the lobby having breakfast._

 

When Luke and Ashton joined them Calum stood and hugged Luke. “I was worried when you weren’t in our room this morning.”

“Ashton,” Roy said wiping his mouth with a napkin, “What happened to your face?”

“Uh, Michael and me got into a fight.” Ashton said plopping down in the chair next to Luke. 

Roy sighed, “I wish you boys could just talk your problems out rather than using your fists.” 

“Won’t happen again. I’m sorry, Roy.” Michael said. He refused to apologize to Ashton. He felt the need to, but Ashton deserved a few good punches. What he said was just uncalled for. 

Roy only nodded at him before saying, “Ashton, Luke, its about time for another date. You aren’t going to the set today. You have a day off.”

Luke looked at the bright red apple in his hand. He wasn’t so hungry now. He didn’t want to be alone with Ashton. Just sitting next to him now made him feel uneasy. All he sees is Ashton in bed with that girl. Were they safe? Was she a prostitute? Did someone see them together?

After breakfast Luke and Ashton venture out into the unfamiliar city. They held hands as they walked down the street. Luke was very self-conscious because he was so uncomfortable around Ashton now. It made his hands sweat. They went to shop after shop. They went into a record shop, bookstore, a few clothing ones, and a movie one. It was really quiet between them. It wasn’t until they were sitting down to lunch that Luke finally spoke. 

He glanced across the table at the actor. Ashton was leaned back in the booth, arms crossed over his chest as he read some of the signs on the wall. Luke took in the discoloration splotches on his face. 

_Michael did that because of me. No,_ Luke thought. _He did that because Ashton’s a jerk._

“Does it hurt?” 

Ashton looked at him, “Not really. I’ve had worse.”

“I – I didn’t know Michael was going to do that, “ Luke looked down at the menu, “I just went to them for a place to stay.” 

Sighing softly Ashton sat up and uncrossed his arms. “I shouldn’t have done what I did. I should have gone back to her place or got a hotel room for the night. It was wrong of me to kick you out of our room.”

Ashton shouldn’t have slept that girl at all. But Luke grinned because Ashton was admitting he was wrong. It was sort of his way of apologizing. 

“It’s in the past now, right?” Luke shrugged his shoulders.

“I have never met anyone like you.” Ashton said looking straight at Luke. 

Luke was taken aback. What did he mean? “L-like me?”

“Everyone I know around my age hasn’t been a virgin in _years_ , people I know hold grudges till the day they die, and are rough as hell. You’re none of those things. You’re so innocent and forgiving. You’re caring.”

Luke blushed, looking down as he bit his lip again. “Thanks?”

That’s literally the nicest thing Ashton has said at all since he’s known him. His heartbeat sped up. And he wished Ashton didn't make him feel this way. 

“It’s just, you’re like from another time or something. You care so much for everyone, especially me of all people. I treat you like shit every day. Why are you so nice to me? I just don’t understand.”

“You do treat me badly, but I know you’ve had it rough with your…” Luke swallowed hard, “Dad leaving and all the stress of the limelight. But you deserve to be happy Ashton. I want to be your friend if you’ll let me.” Luke had so much more to say. But that involved him revealing to Ashton how he feels about him. He knew for a fact that wouldn’t go well. 

Ashton looked at for a long time. They sat in silence the whole time that is until Ashton rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Your girly-ness is rubbing off, Hemmings. You’re turning me into a chick.” 

Luke knew that this time Ashton was being lighthearted. He was just teasing Luke rather than trying to hurt him. He grinned. Maybe things were going to be different from now on. 

After they ate Ashton suggested they see a movie sense it would be dark and they could get away from the fan girls. “Alright,” Ashton said once they walked up to the cinema, “What do you want to see?”

Luke looked up at the list of movies and times. It had been such a long time since Luke had went to the movies. He didn’t even know what was showing. 

“Fuck!” Ashton groaned, “We missed the showing for the Avengers. Next one isn’t for another two hours!” 

“Well, maybe on our next outing we can see it? The only movies we can make it to are Pitch Perfect 2 or Poltergeist.” Luke winced; he really didn’t want to see a horror movie. 

“Horror movies are shit!” He walked up to the window, “Two for Pitch fucking Perfect.”

The teenage girl with many freckles swiped Ashton’s card and handed him the tickets. “Here you go. Enjoy the movie. I’m a huge fan by the way!”

Ashton rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah.” He slung an arm over Luke’s shoulders and guided him inside. There were only a few people in the theater. They sat low so they could rest their feet on the railing. 

Luke didn’t want to admit that he really liked the first movie and he was really enjoying this one. His favorite was Fat Amy. She was hilarious. He always admired her confidence. He wished he had as much confidence as she did. At first Ashton just sat in his seat slumped and arms crossed over his chest. He didn’t laugh with Luke and the other people in the theater. But halfway through he began laughing along. He stopped trying to be such a hard-ass. 

They walked out of the theater later on laughing. Luke couldn’t help but to think how nice this was. Ashton was happy and being nice to him. They were having a great time. 

“Shit, that Fat chick is hilarious!” Laughed Ashton. 

“I love Fat Amy. She’s awesome!” 

“Oh man.” Sighed Ashton. He hadn’t felt this great in years. And to think it was because of this blonde, girly, faggot. His smile fell at that thought. _He still wants my dick though._ He thought. 

“So, are we going to see the Avengers next time?” Luke asked. 

“Hell yeah! I’d fuck Black Widow so hard she’d feel me for days!” 

Luke’s grin slipped off his face and he blushed. 

Oh, come on! You have to admit she’s hot!”

“She is. But I wouldn’t…have sex with her.”

“Alright, fine. Which Avenger would you have sex with?” Ashton asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Ashton guessed he would pick Thor or something. 

“Well, my favorite’s Captain America. And I think he’s really handsome, but I don’t know if I would have sex with him.”

Ashton shook his head, “So innocent. C’mon. Let’s head back to the hotel.”

A spike of anxiety hit Luke’s heart. The hotel meant going to their room, the same room Ashton had sex with that girl. Disgust washed over him like the plague. It was ridiculous. It shouldn’t bother him so badly. It’s not like he and Ashton are really dating. But Luke does have feelings for Ashton whether he likes it or not. And it just seems that his feelings grow stronger and stronger each day. 

“O-okay.” Luke clasped their hands together and they began walking down the sidewalk. 

When they got back to their room Calum and Michael were laying in their bed watching TV.

“We let the maid in. She cleaned up and changed the sheets and everything.” Calum said picking his head up off of Michael’s shoulder. 

“Thanks.” Smiled Luke. 

Ashton and Michael avoided any form of eye contact. The actor took his hand from Luke’s and walked over to his suitcase. He found some pajamas and went into the bathroom. The door opened just five seconds later and he pulled Luke inside, leaving Michel and Calum to exchange confused looks. 

“What?” Luke asked once the door was closed. 

“Promise not to blab to anyone?”

“I promise.”

“When Michael left last night,” He swallowed hard, “I may have cut again.” He rubbed at his left wrist. 

Luke stepped forward and gently took it in his hand. He slid the many bracelets up careful not to scrape them over the cuts. There were two nasty looking cuts on the actor's wrist. 

“Is this the first time you’ve-”

“Since you’ve helped me and all. Yes. But we haven’t really been on good terms. And since you do the writing my wrists have been bare.”

“Yeah, we haven’t been on good terms lately. I just thought you’ve been writing on them.”

Ashton shook his head. “No.”

The cuts were raised and red. “I think they’re a little infected. Come here.” He led Ashton over to the sink. He got out the first aid kit that was underneath the sink. He took out the bottle of peroxide and poured some over the wounds. Ashton gave a small wince as the liquid hit his wrist. Setting the bottle down Luke blew on Ashton’s wet wrist before getting a cotton ball and gently dabbing away the white bubbles. He then rubbed some Neosporin Pain Relief on the cuts and put a couple of Band-Aids to together over them. 

“When they heal I’ll start writing again. Okay?”

Ashton just nodded thinking about how nice Luke is to him all the time. It made him a little shitty that he talked so badly about him the night before.

“I’m sorry this all happened.”

“Not your fault.” Mumbled Ashton. “Now, get out. I’m going to shower. This ain’t no free show.”

“Free show? So, if I pay you I get to stay and watch?”

Ashton snorted as he opened the door. “I walked in to that one.”

Chuckling softly the blonde said, “You sure did.”

When Luke went back out into the room Calum sat up. “What was that about?”

Biting his lip to keep from smiling, and failing miserably, Luke said, “Nothing.” 

 

Laying in bed that night Luke rolled over to face Ashton, “Did it hurt?”

“What? When I fell from Heaven?” Ashton teased. 

“No, I mean, the cutting.”

“It stings like a bitch at first and if they get infected then yeah. But since you doctored them up they don’t hurt.”

Reaching down Luke took hold of Ashton’s hurt wrist. “I’m sorry you feel the need to do this. I promise I’ll make sure you always have something written on your wrist to distract you from cutting.”

“And what happens when your contract is up and we go our separate ways?”

“All I know is that I want to be your friend and help you, Ash.”

Ashton grinned, “Ash?”

“Sorry,” Luke blushed, “I don’t know why I said that.”

“It’s okay, Lukey.”

“Lukey? That sounds horrible!” Luke laughed. “At least yours sounds cool! But Lukey? That screams, “Loser!” 

“You’re not a loser.”

Luke opened his mouth to say thanks, but Ashton kept speaking, “You’re just a fucking chick and a prude.” 

Luke rolled his eyes. “Thanks.” He said sarcastically. “I had fun today.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Go to sleep faggot.” Ashton said, but it was light hearted instead mean. Luke grinned as he rolled over. 

 

Across the hall Michael and Calum were laying in bed. “Do you think Ashton is going to be different now?” Calum asked. 

Michael shrugged, “Who knows with him. It absolutely kills me that I got so angry that I turned to violence and on my best friend. But he just said some things and I just lost it.”

“If you ask me, he deserved it. He doesn’t need to treat Luke so badly. Luke doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. He’s so sweet.”

“He makes my teeth rot.” 

Calum snorted and playfully hit his boyfriend’s chest. 

“Dork.”

Michael rolled over onto his naked boyfriend. “What did you call me?”

Giggling Calum replied, “Dork!” 

Michael grabbed Calum’s wrists and pinned them above their heads, and with the other hand worked on tickling him. Calum squealed and fought against him to no prevail. 

“Take it back!”

“Never!” Gasped the Kiwi. 

“Do it!”

With the weight on his naked boyfriend on him, plus how his boyfriend was holding his hands above his head was turning Calum on. He let out of a moan as Michael shifted on top of him, their cocks brushing against each other. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. You want me to fuck you?”

Calum whimpered. 

“Want me to slip a finger or two inside you? Like this?” His hand disappeared under the blanket and found its way to Calum’s hole, where it slipped into the tight heat. 

“Want me to stretch you wide and even then you’ll still be hot and tight around my cock?” 

Calum gasped as Michael added a second finger. 

“Michael, please!”

“Please, what Calum?”

“Fuck me, Michael!”

Michael withdrew his fingers and aligned his cock to Calum’s entrance. He then slammed inside the tight heat. 

“Ugh! You’re always tight no matter how much I stretch you!” Grunted Michael. He released Calum’s hands and they immediately found their way to his boyfriend’s green hair. He pulled at the roots as they kissed. His green was growing out. He needed to re-dye it. 

They moaned it the kiss. Michael’s movement began to be sloppy and offbeat. 

“Michael!” Calum screamed as said boy found his prostate. 

“Almost there, babe!” 

Calum silently said he was too. Sometimes when they were like this Calum was left speechless. He just never thought he would find someone like Michael; thought he would just die a virgin, die never knowing what true love is. But he has Michael and he plans on never letting him go. 

Michael slammed in once more before releasing inside of Calum. Calum came just a few short seconds later. Breathing hard Michael stated, “I love you Calum Thomas Hood.”

“And I love you Michael Gordon Clifford.”

Michael buried his face in the Kiwi’s neck, “You ruined the moment.”

Laughing Calum asked, “Why?”

“I hate my middle name.”

“Gordon? I don’t know. I kinda like it.” Teased Calum. 

“I regret ever telling you.” He groaned. 

“Why Gordon, stop that!”

“Stoooop! You sound like my mother!”

Calum giggled and Michael secretly didn’t mind his boyfriend calling him Gordon. It made Calum happy and laugh. And that was just the best thing in the world to Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~I didn't mean to add the Malum sex scene. I really just wanted it to be fluff, but just see them being the couple that act like newly weds all the time.~


	14. I'm pretty sure that we're halfway there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~....Long time no see? Yeah, to say I had writer's block is quite evident! If it makes anyone feel better I already am writing the next chapter!~

The next day started off really well. After Ashton showered he laid in bed for a few moments, trying to gather patience for the day. He really didn’t feel like going to the set today. Luke finished his shower quickly. He sat on his side of the bed, sharpie in hand. 

“What do you want on your wrist today?” Ashton’s arm was thrown over Luke’s lap. He shrugged. 

Luke thought for a moment before he pressed the tip of the sharpie to Ashton’s skin and began drawing. Ashton tried to peer over, but Luke made sure he couldn’t see. “Stop moving or you’ll mess it up!” Luke scolded. Ashton leaned back on the bed with a small frown on his face. When Luke finished Ashton looked at the black marking on his wrist. It simply said; _Drummer_. 

“Good.” Was all he said. 

Luke patted his leg, “C’mon. Get up. We have to go.”

Ashton groaned, “I don’t wanna!”

“You have to!” Luke mimicked his whine. “Cal text me. They aren’t going to be with us today. Something about dying Michael’s hair.”

“Shit! He’s dying it again? He’s going to be bald by the time he’s 25.”

Luke chuckled because it was probably true. 

Ashton sat up in bed. “Why do we have to start filming at the butt crack of dawn?”

Luke shrugged, “I guess so you guys can get a lot done. I’m sure if you went in around noon everyday it would take longer to make the movie.”

Ashton groaned, rubbing his face. “Let’s go.”

Luke grabbed up his guitar case on the way out. 

Once Roy dropped them off at the studio Ashton was taken to makeup while Luke sat on _their_ couch. He took his guitar out and Lux waddled over to him. He picked her up and sat her down on the couch beside him. 

Ashton watched the scene from his chair as makeup was being dabbed on his face. He hated makeup. 

The blond began strumming some chords and sang some song Ashton didn’t recognize. Ashton would admit this; Luke is great with kids and he’s an even greater musician. 

He grins when he sees Lux stand on the couch and try to play the guitar too. She ran her little fingers over the string, making a bruuuum sound. Luke laughed as he instructed her to sit and he put the guitar in her lap. 

She squealed and giggled excitedly. The guitar was bigger than she was and swallowed her frame. 

Yeah, Luke is great with just about anyone.

 

“What color are you getting?” Calum asked from the floor of some beauty store. He was on his knees looking at ten different shades of reds and blues.

Michael leaned over him, “I’m not sure. Why don’t you pick?”

Calum quickly looked to him, “Really?” He asked his eyes wide, “You would let me do that?” 

“Yeah,” Michael chuckled, “Why not?”

“But what if I pick a color and you don’t really like. I know you’ll get it anyway just to make me happy.” Calum looked back to the million different options he had to choose from. 

“You’re probably right.” Michael said with a straight face. 

Calum reached behind him and slapped his leg causing his boyfriend to laugh. 

“Here.” Michael bent down and picked out a light shade of purple, a bright red, and an electric blue. “Pick out of these.”

“I liiike, this one.” Calum said pointing to the red one. 

“Perfect. So do I.” He helped his boyfriend to his feet and paid for the dye. 

“Now comes the fun part. You get to dye my hair!” Michael announced happily as they walked down the sidewalk. 

“But I’ve never dyed anyone’s hair! Not even mine!”

“Well, we have to bleach it first.” Michael ran his fingers through his horribly faded neon green hair. It wasn’t neon green anymore. Is there even a name for the nasty looking green his hair is now? Michael didn’t think so. It looked absolutely putrid. 

“Is that what’s in the other box you bought?”

Michael nodded, “It’s fun. I promise. You should do something with your hair too.”

“I am not putting red in it.”

“Who said anything about red?”

And Calum didn’t like the way his boyfriend was grinning at him. 

 

Back at the studio Ashton was on break. He ate quickly so he could play music with Luke. He would never admit that he enjoyed this time with Luke and Lux. He drummed while Luke played his guitar and sang. Lux loved it. She even slid off the couch and hit her tiny hands on the drum Ashton was sitting on. It made them smile.

Ashton looked up to see Luke smiling at him. It was a weird smile. No one has ever smiled at him like that before. He didn’t know how he felt about that. Ashton couldn’t put his finger on the smile. His own smile fell away from his face and he turned his attention back to Lux. She was still beating her hands on the drum. 

As Luke sang Ashton looked to him again. This is where Luke was happiest; making music. He could see it in the younger boy’s striking blue eyes. 

“We should be a band.” Luke joked.

“We sound pretty good, but Lux will have to practice.” Ashton teased.

“No,” Luke said dramatically rolling his eyes, “Us and Michael and Calum.”

“That would be something, wouldn’t it?”

“What could our name be?”

Ashton decided to play along, “Bromance.”

Luke chuckled, “Bromance?” 

“Yeah, Michael and me are close, and you and Calum are close. Even you Michael have gotten to be good friends. But Bromance couldn’t work because Michael and Calum are fucking each other.” 

Luke laughed, “Yeah, that probably wouldn’t work. Well, I’ll think of some names and get back to you.” 

Ashton grinned, “Same here.” 

It was like a silly game. There was no way on Earth they could be a band! But Ashton would never admit, it was kind of fun pretending. 

 

“Oh my God, it’s cold!” He giggled as he squirted some of the dye on his plastic gloved hand. 

“Hey, try it from this end!” Michael said. He was sitting in a chair in bathroom in front of the mirror. Calum stood behind him. 

“Just rub it all over?”

“Yepp!”

Calum pressed his hand to his boyfriend’s scalp and the color haired boy gasped at the coldness. 

“Don’t fuck up my hair, Cal.”

“I’m not going to fuck it up!”

“If you do I’ll fuck you up.”

“Is that a promise?” Mumbled Calum as he concentrated at the task at hand. 

But Michael heard and chuckled. After 30 or so minutes Calum had made sure every strand was drenched in the red substance Michael announced, “Okay, just got to let it sit for a while.” 

Calum peeled his gloves off and dropped them in the trashcan by the toilet. He hopped up on the counter in front of Michael. Michael rested his hands on the Kiwi’s thighs.

“We should have dyed your hair.”

“No. Way.”

Michael grinned, “One day I’ll talk you into it.”

“Well that day is not today.” He leaned down and kissed his lips.

When they pulled apart Michael asked, “Just a little blond streak!”

“Never!”

 

That night after both boys showered they lied in bed, a big bowl of popcorn between them. 

“This movie is shit!” Ashton shouted throwing a piece of popcorn at the screen. 

They were watching a black and white film. It was a romance. Luke had been entranced by it from the beginning. 

“I like it!”

“Figures.” Snorted Ashton. 

“It’s a good movie!”

“Whatever.” The actor rolls his eyes. 

They were at the part where the beautiful blonde actress is about to board a plane, to leave forever, but the handsome raven-haired man grabs her by the arm, spins her around, and tells her how he feels. He then kisses her hard and dramatically like they always did in old movies.

“Thank God it’s over!”

“It was a sweet movie.” 

“You want someone to stop you from getting a plane, Hemmings?”

Luke chuckled, “It _would_ be pretty cool though.”

“You are such a chick.”

Instead of answering him Luke throws a piece of popcorn at him. The ends up with popcorn all over the bed, but they were giggling so hard neither of them cared. Luke was proud of himself . Ashton normally doesn’t like this and Luke likes to think he is slowly breaking down Ashton’s walls. 

Ashton turned the TV off and they settled into bed. It was quiet until Ashton mumbled, “My pillow smells like popcorn.” It sent off a new wave of giggles. 

It’s safe to say they didn’t go to sleep for a while. 

 

The next morning they walked down to breakfast. Luke was talking about more silly names for the band one being; Four Australian Dudes. They were all quite horrible, but they cracked up at them. 

Ashton suddenly stopped. Luke ran into him, his nose colliding into the back of the actor’s head.

Rubbing his nose he asked, “Why’d you stop?” 

Luke followed Ashton’s gaze. 

“His hair is so bright.” 

Ashton nodded and they made their way over to their friends. 

“Shit Michael, you’re not going to have any hair by the time you’re 25.” 

“Screw you Ash.” He joked. 

Ashton crinkled his nose in disgust, “No thanks.” 

He and Luke sat down. Ashton ordered eggs and pancakes. Luke wasn’t really hungry, which is weird because Luke is always hungry. He ordered something anyway though. 

Everyone ate. Calum couldn’t keep his hands out of Michael’s hair, and Michael kept stealing short, but sweet kisses from the Kiwi boy. Luke picked at his food, unable to make himself eat any of it. 

Ashton finished his plate and stabbed fork into a sausage on Luke’s plate. 

“You okay Luke?” Calum asked. 

“Yeah, fine. Just not really hungry right now.” 

“Hey Mike,” Ashton called, getting everyone’s attention, “Does King Triton know you’re hanging with us humans?” He was making fun of his Ariel red hair. 

Michael glared and was all about ready to make some smart comment back, but Luke burst into laughter. His expression softened and he smiled. 

Ashton joined in with Luke. It just tickled the blond so much that he rested his head on Ashton’s shoulder giggling. 

Michael and Calum watched the scene before them shock. Ashton was being nice. Normally if Luke had tried to do something as small as this gesture then Ashton would have shoved his away spitting out some horrible name. 

When the laughter died down Ashton continued to pick off of the blonde boy’s plate until it was half empty. Roy made his appearance with a cup of coffee in hand, “Everyone ready?” 

Michael sat up front with Roy. Ashton laid sprawled down in the back seat while Calum and Luke sat behind Michael and Roy. 

“Everything okay?” Calum whispered.

“Yeah, why?”

Calum shrugged, “Just making sure. He’s treating you good from I see.”

Luke nodded. It was quiet after that, so Luke leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Even when they arrived at the studio he laid across the couch. He must have not slept well the night before. He and Ashton did stay up late. 

To stay awake he played on his phone for a while, listened to his friends be lovey dovey, and tried to converse with them. He fell asleep right before Ashton’s break. 

When the actor made his way over to his friends he glanced at the sleeping Luke on the couch. 

“He okay?” He asked as he sat down to eat his sandwich. 

“Ashton,” Michael said with wide eyes and a hand over his heart, “Are you showing concern for someone that isn’t yourself?”

“Oh fuck you.” He grumbled. 

“He totally passed out about half an hour ago. He didn’t eat breakfast either.” Calum commented as he felt his friend’s forehead for any fever. There was none. 

“We stayed up pretty late last night.” Ashton had a mouthful of food in his mouth. 

“Doing what?” The raven-haired boy asked. 

“Watching TV. We watched some old movie. Can’t remember what it was called. Some chick flick. Luke liked it though. Of course he liked it, it was total girl movie.” His attention was on his sandwich. When he looked up both boys were grinning at him. 

“What?”

“Admit it. You’re having fun.” Michael said.

“You like us!” Calum accused. 

Ashton snorted, “Don’t flatter yourself.”

“You aren’t denying it!” Michael pointed a finger at him and they both giggled. 

“You two are annoying! I’m about to wake Luke up. He’s only half annoying as you two are.”

Ashton finished his sandwich and got up. He sat on Luke’s back.

Luke groaned, “Get off!”

“No, wake up and save me from these fucking idiots!” 

“I will if you get off me!” Luke chuckled. 

“Fine!” Ashton rolled off him and Luke sat up, his blond hair tousled. He rubbed his eyes. 

“Now, what are Cal and Michael doing?” Sleep still evident in his voice. 

Ashton plopped down on the couch beside him and crossed his arms. “Being fucking stupid.” 

Luke gasped jokingly, “I never would have guessed!”

“Hey!” The couple shouted in unison. 

Luke sent them a smile. 

Ashton shoved him, “Stop being so nice to them!”

Luke shoved him back, “Stop pushing me!” He whined. 

Calum and Michael watched the scene before with wide eyes. 

“Ashton isn’t being a douche.” Calum whispered.

“Is this really happening? I’m not dreaming?” Michael asked. 

They all palled around until Ashton was called back to the set. 

“So, you two seem…” Michael began. 

“Close.” Calum finished. 

“Yeah, we’ve been getting a long pretty well recently. It’s nice.” 

“Hey,” Michael threw his hands up, “As long as he isn’t being a totally fucking dick, then whatever.” 

By the end of the day Luke was exhausted and all he did was sit on the couch and talk with Michael and Calum all day. He even fell asleep again, slept all through lunch. He hadn’t eaten anything all day, but yet, he wasn’t the slightest bit hungry. In fact, his stomach ached ever so slightly.

Back in the hotel room Luke was lying in bed, fresh out of the shower. Ashton came out of the bathroom and plopped down on the bed, making Luke groan as they bounced. 

“I’m thinking about ordering pizza. Pepperoni okay?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Michael said you haven’t eaten all day.” For a minute Luke grinned because Ashton was showing concern for him. Well, the moment was shattered when Ashton continued, “You’re not one of those people that throw up after they eat, right?”

Luke rolled his eyes, “My stomach hurts is all. I love eating.”

“Whatever you say, dude.” Ashton rolled onto his back and called to order the pizza. After the pizza was ordered Ashton grabbed the remote up, but before he could flick the TV on Luke said, “5 Seconds of Summer.”

“What?” He looked to the blonde. 

“Our band’s name. It could be 5 Seconds of Summer. Michael came up with it. Apparently all the ones I came up with sucked.”

Ashton laughed, “They did.” 

Luke playfully shoved the actor’s shoulder. 

“Oh come on, Lukey, really? Four Australian Dudes? Attack of the Penguins?”

“Oh! Like Bromance is any better?” 

“ _So_ much better than Attack of the Penguins.”

“Okay! I’m not good at names!” Luke admitted, throwing his hands up in the air in defeat. 

“Yeah, I feel sorry for your future kids. You’ll probably name them something like Archibald or some shit.”

“Archibald? How the heck did you come up with that?” Giggled Luke. 

Ashton joined in the giggling, “I have no idea!” 

Warmth spread over Luke; he and Ashton are acting like friends, no, they are friends. Even though Luke wanted more, he was happy being with Ashton just like this. 

 

Later that night after Ashton ate half the pizza they lay in bed the TV on, but the volume turned all the way down. “I have to go to the Teen Choice Awards on Friday. Fucking joy.” 

“Really? That sounds fun.”

“I’m not even a fucking teenager.”

“It’s the _Teens_ Choice though. Teenagers chose you for…whatever.”

Ashton rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m going to be surrounded by all these 12 year olds from the Disney channel and Nickelodeon that wear too much makeup, dress like sluts or Bieber. And the thing is, they will most likely turn out to be porn stars.”

“I don’t know about that. Nickelodeon kids usually turn out alright.”

Ashton chewed on his lip to keep from laughing. 

Luke glanced over at him, “You have to admit that I’m right.”

“Yeah, yeah, shove Hemmings.” Ashton grinned ever so slightly. 

“Am I going with you?”

“Of course you are. I can’t be seen without a date.”

Luke tried to ignore the excitement he felt in his chest. It seemed to be getting stronger with each passing day. He knew his friends felt bad for him. He didn’t want their pity though. So what, he had a crush on Ashton and said boy will never return his feelings. It’s not like he’s going to die from Ashton not liking him back…

“Well, we’ll make it fun.”

The actor snorted, “Impossible.”

“I promise you there won’t be a dull moment while we’re there.”

“I’ll hold you to that promise. Don’t fuck anything up.”

Luke couldn’t help the grin that found its way to his face. “I won’t.” 

 

In the room across the hall Michael lay in bed watching his boyfriend sway to the music playing in the background. Fall Out Boy’s American Beauty/American Psycho was playing and Calum swayed his hips to the beat. Michael was enjoying it more than he should. 

Calum finally stopped, his face red and he was giggling. “Okay, I’m done.” 

“Why’d you stop? Don’t stop!” Whined Michael. 

“I can’t dance!” Calum was actually quite embarrassed. Michael gave him confidence to do things he wouldn’t normally do though. 

“Just keep going!” 

Calum covered his face with his hands to hide his blush. 

“Come _on_ , baby! Please!” 

The song ended and another one began to play. Calum moved to the music, slow, but steady, hesitant but sexy. Oh how Michael loved it. 

Michael drank in Calum’s beauty; his tanned skin, the way his hips moved, the way he pretended to act like he was okay with this when he’s obviously not. Of course Michael loved more. He loved Calum’s eyes, the color, and the shape. He loved how Calum loved him. Michael always figured he would grow up alone, or with Ashton. And sometimes that feels like the same thing. 

All he wanted to do was prove to this boy that he loved him. He wanted to give Calum the world and so much more because Calum deserved everything. There are a billion people on this Earth and Calum chose to be with him. 

Yeah, Michael considered himself to be the luckiest guy on the planet, probably in the entire galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Okay, kinda boring...sorry! The story will pick up again soon!~


	15. There was always something about you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Wow, okay, this chapter is kinda boring. I'm so sorry!~

Over the next two days Luke hardly ate, and the pain in his stomach steadily grew. He kept brushing it off as twisting something, or sleeping wrong, and even eating something bad. 

He had to be okay; Ashton needed him in tiptop shape for the Teen Choice Awards. It was just a silly little sickness that would go away soon. He was sure of it…

 

When Luke awoke one morning his stomach hurt so much worse than it did the day before. He didn’t want to get out of bed and considered staying in his little cave of blankets. 

But after lying there for 10 minutes he finally made himself get out of bed. When he sat up he realized the source of his pain was mostly from his side. It bloomed outward. Breathing through the pain he pushed himself up and into the bathroom. 

He brushed his teeth and fixed his hair. He then threw on some clothes for the day. The blond boy also found out that the pain wasn’t so bad when he stood. Sitting down is the problem. 

He hoped he would be okay by tonight. He prayed and prayed. 

 

He leaned against the door, as Ashton got ready. When Ashton was dressed he looked over to the blonde boy, “You okay?”

“Just not really feeling all that good. I’m okay though. Are you ready?”

Ashton wasn’t too sure Luke should go out with how pale he was and the way he held himself. Luke seemed to be tucked into himself. 

“Ash, I’m fine. Let’s go.” 

 

Down at breakfast Luke drank a hot cup of tea and he seemed a lot better. Ashton didn’t worry so much then. And at the set, after he went through makeup, he threw his hoodie at Luke. 

“Watch this for me,” Was what Ashton said, but he really meant was, _Put this on. You look cold._

Luke smiled and slipped inside the hoodie. Ashton was grateful Luke understood. 

“Thank you.”

“Whatever.” 

Calum and Michael had run off into the city again, leaving Luke alone. He honestly didn’t mind though. He laid down on the couch trying to get comfortable. He managed to stay awake all the way up to Ashton’s lunch break. The actor came over with two sandwiches and two water bottles. 

“Hey. You feeling any better?” He sat down next to him on the couch. 

“I’ll be okay for the show tonight.”

“That’s not what I asked.” He said setting one sandwich and bottle in Luke’s lap. 

The thought of eating anything at the moment made Luke want to vomit. He set the sandwich aside and untwisted the cap of his water and sipped it. The cool liquid felt nice running down his dry throat. 

“I’m fine, really.”

“You would tell me or someone if something was really wrong, wouldn’t you?”

Luke hesitated before answering. He’d been sick the last few days. What’s one more night going to matter? “Stop worrying, Ash. I’ll go see a doctor tomorrow if that will ease your mind.”

Ashton seemed okay with that. He’ll tell Roy to take him to see a doctor tomorrow, the doctor will give him some meds, and vuala, Luke will be better in no time!

“Okay, but you are seeing someone tomorrow about this.”

“I know.” Luke sat his water bottle down and positioned himself differently on the couch. He rested his head on Ashton’s lap. Yeah, this felt nice. 

Ashton froze and nearly stood up quickly. But he remembered that he and Luke were _dating_ and the more people saw them act like the perfect couple then hopefully the rumors, that weren’t really rumors, about him would stop.

He hesitantly brought a hand up and rakes his fingers through Luke’s hair. He never knew how soft it was. It was like petting a fluffy kitten!

Roy had been walking over to them, but stopped when he looked up from his phone. He zoomed in with his camera app and took a picture. He then sent it to Michael for him to post on Instagram. He left unseen. 

A few minutes later both boys’ phones went off. Luke groaned, not wanting to look at his. Ashton, on the other hand managed to wiggle his out of his pocket. Opening Instagram he saw Michael posted a picture of them in the position they’re in now. Ashton looked at himself in the picture and the look on his face was something that he hadn’t felt in a long time. He was content. Luke wasn’t so bad, really. Ashton was still sure Luke wanted him to fuck him. That would never happen though. 

Below it the caption said, _Cuddles in between takes ;)_ He tagged him and Luke in it. 

Sighing heavily he showed Luke. Luke smiled at the picture. “At least it’s okay for my eyes to be closed.”

Ashton let out a small snort, “Yeah.” 

They remained in that position until Ashton was called back to the set. Luke slowly sat up, to let Ashton stand. He then laid back down, closing his eyes. Ashton turned to leave, but couldn’t fight the bad feeling welling up in his chest. He turned back around and knelt beside the couch near Luke’s head.   
Biting his lip he hesitantly rested a hand on Luke’s forehead. It startled the blond boy. Opening his eyes he said, “What?”

“You feel a little warm.”

“I’m fine. Now go and act.” He grinned up at the older boy. 

Standing he stared down at the blond boy. He couldn’t help but to notice that, even though he’s sick, Luke looks really good in his jacket. He quickly shook the thought from his head and corrected himself by saying black is a good color on Luke. 

“You okay?” Luke croaked. 

Ashton frowned. He’s not the one sick. “Just get better.” It came out a little rude and he hadn’t meant for it to. 

Luke lifted two fingers to his forehead and saluted the actor, “Yes sir!” 

Ashton couldn’t fight the grin that found its way to his lips. 

“ASHTON!” Someone yelled. 

He rolled his eyes and said, “Duty calls.” And Ashton would never admit this to anyone, but he didn’t feel right about leaving Luke alone. 

 

A couple hours later Luke awoke to a horrible churning in his stomach. He never felt anything like it before; almost as if his stomach was put in a jar and shaken up. 

Groaning he tried to stay still, afraid to move. But he knew no matter what he was going to be sick. He quickly pushed himself up and rushed to the nearest restroom. 

After emptying his stomach’s contents he flushed the toilet. Leaning heavily on the sink in front of him he looked in the mirror. Yeah, he was pretty pale. 

Running some cold water he cupped his hands together and drank from them. He sloshed the water around in his mouth before spitting it out. He then washed his hands and after he was done drying them he pressed the damp paper towel to his hot forehead. 

His skin was a flame, but he was freezing as well. He couldn’t bring himself to take Ashton’s hoodie off. It was warm and comforting, and it smelled of the other boy. 

When he stepped out of the restroom Ashton was walking over to him, “Hey, time to go.”

Oh, Thank God. Luke didn’t think he could be here another minute. 

Ashton must have seen the relief on his face because he added, “Yeah, Roy said we’re wrapping up early today since we have a big night ahead of us.”

Luke fought a groan that wanted to pass through his lips. He almost forgot about that. 

“Are you sure you’re up for this?”

Luke nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine.” 

Nodding slowly Ashton said, “Okay.” 

 

Luke laid in bed when they got back to the room. He didn’t sleep but just rested. At one point Ashton came in the room holding up a little white bottle. 

“I asked Roy for some Aspirin. Told him you had a headache. It should break your fever though.”

Luke took two. They still had five hours before they had to leave. His fever should be gone by then. Perfect!

 

Luke dressed in black skinny jeans, a white shirt with some black designs on it and a black sweater with his black and white converse. 

“Lookin’ gooood Hemmings!” Calum called as he stepped out of the bathroom. 

Ashton looked up and nodded in approval. He wore black skinny jeans, black boots, a red and black checkered t-shirt with black leather jacket over it. 

Ashton kept his eyes on the other boy. He really didn’t think Luke should go anywhere but to a doctor. But Luke’s fever broke hours ago and he seemed to be more awake and aware of his surroundings now. 

Ashton had asked if there had been anything else wrong and Luke replied that his stomach hurt. The actor wanted to brush the sickness off as Luke eating something bad. But couldn’t. He couldn’t shake this feeling off. 

“Thanks Cal.” Luke blushed and looked down. 

“Ready?” Ashton asked him. 

Luke nodded, “No bandana tonight?”

“Should I wear one?” 

Luke shook his head, “I was just asking. You always wear one.” 

“Do you think I should wear one tonight?”

Luke took in his appearance for a moment before saying, “Yeah.” Walking over to the dresser he opened a drawer and took a red bandana and a black one. He made his way over to Ashton and held each one up. 

“Can’t go wrong with black.” He laid the red one down on the edge of the bed and folded the black one up. He then tied it around Ashton’s head gently. 

Taking a step back he looked in the mirror on the wall. He nodded in approval. “Damn, I look good.” 

Luke chuckled softly, “Yeah.” 

Calum and Michael laid back on Luke’s bed and watched them; something they’ve been doing a lot lately. They noticed how Ashton was being so much nicer, ands how much more happy Luke is. 

In fact they were acting like friends, maybe a little touchier than friends. Neither boy knew if this was a good or bad thing with Luke’s feelings. No matter what happens they both know their sweet blond boy will get hurt. 

 

In the elevator Ashton took hold of Luke’s hand, making said boy look to him. 

“You nervous?”

Luke opened his mouth to reply, but instead nodded. 

“Don’t worry. Just look pretty for the cameras and it will all be over soon.”

“Did you just call me pretty?” Luke flashed him a toothy smile to which Ashton rolled his eyes and dropped the blond’s hand. 

“You ruined the moment.”

Luke let out a laugh, which made Ashton grin. Until Luke stopped, sucking in a choked breath as he leaned against the wall. Ashton was next to him in a second, “Hey what’s wrong?” 

Luke inhaled deeply, “I’m okay.”

“Is it your stomach?”

Swallowing hard Luke nodded. “Yeah, but I’ll be fine tonight. I’ll see a doctor tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Ashton said softly. 

Luke straightened himself up. The pain he had felt just a few short moments ago scared him. The fiery pain bloomed and branched out, attacking his insides, almost as if there was a war going on inside him. 

_I’ll be okay._ He told himself, hoping it would calm his nerves. 

It didn’t.

 

When they stepped out of the black shiny limo Luke felt overwhelmed with all the bright and flashing lights. He wanted to crawl back inside the limo and if Ashton hadn’t grabbed his hand and gave it a tight squeeze he thinks he would have. 

Fans of all ages were screaming and jumping up and down. Some were asking questions about them, about Ashton’s movie, etc. 

“Ashton can you sign this?”

“Ashton, tell us about your new movie!”

“You and Luke are so cute!”

“Lashton forever!”

“Are you two serious?” 

Ashton just gave them smiles as they walked towards the entrance. Ashton released his hold on Luke’s hand and wrapped his arm around his shoulders instead. He brought Luke close to his side almost protectively. Placing a kiss on Luke’s temple earned ear-piercing screams from the crowd.

“How are you feeling?” Ashton asked as they walked into a gigantic room. He retook Luke’s hand. Luke looked around at the huge stage. There were hundreds and hundreds of theater seats. 

Ashton squeezed his hand to get his attention.

“Oh, um, I’ll be fine.” To be honest, ever since his little episode in the elevator his stomach had not stopped hurting. In fact the pain got worse. 

“We’ll be here three hours at the most. It’s the Teen Choice Awards, these airheads can’t have too much to say.”

“If I may remind you, you are one of these _airheads_ , Ashton.”

“Shut up.” 

Walking up stairs absolutely sucked. Each step sent a wave of fire inside Luke’s body. They were seated somewhere in the middle and Luke, ever the optimistic, was glad they didn’t have to sit up at the top. 

Luke recognized some of the actors and actresses, but wasn’t really star struck. So, he sat back and let out a long breath. 

“Just 2 hours and 55 minutes.” Ashton teased. At any other time Luke would have smiled, but not this time. He was in absolute torture at the moment. 

The lights went out when the show began. Luke forgot the name of the actress hosting it, but he listened to every word she said and clapped when someone won an award. He thanked God they didn’t stand to clap. 

If that were the case Luke wouldn’t be able to stand, then sit, over and over again. He could look like a huge jerk, but Luke wouldn’t bring himself to care. 

They had gone through all the awards for Music, TV Shows, and now were just entering the Movie ones. 

As the hostess announced the award for best comedy Luke was struck with a horrible pain and he shifted in his seat trying find a comfortable position. Nothing he did helped. He finally bent over his lap. The pain got so intense tears found their way to his eyes. 

“Hey,” Ashton’s arm was around him then, “Are you okay?”

Luke shook his head. He wasn’t. Something was terribly wrong. 

“What can I do?”

“I don’t know.” Luke whispered back, but his voice shaky. 

Ashton knew this was a bad idea to bring Luke here like this. He knew what he had to do now. Standing, he quickly uttered an apology to the people behind them, and helped Luke to his feet. 

Luke had an arm draped around Ashton’s neck and Ashton had an arm circled around the blond’s waist. 

“What are we doing?” Luke asked.

“You’re going to the hospital.” 

Excusing themselves as they stumbled through the isle they made their way to the door. Luke didn’t protest, because he knows he needs to go to the hospital. Ashton led them to the back of the building. Luke looked at him in confusion to which the actor replied, “Too many people out front.”

Luke gave him a nod just as they walked out into warm night air. 

Looking around walked them over to the sidewalk, hoping no one would see them. He hailed a cab and they got inside. He let out a sigh of relief once the cab took off. He suddenly felt a weight in his lap. 

Looking down he saw Luke stretched out across the backseat and rested his head in his lap. He was breathing a littler heavier now. “Doesn’t hurt as much when I lay down.”

Ashton just nodded as if to say, ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s fine.’ 

A few minutes later Luke gasps and squeezes the living daylight out of Ashton’s hand. “Hurts.” He panted. Ashton tried ignoring the fact Luke had a steady stream of tears running down his cheeks. 

Running his fingers gently through Luke’s hair he said, “You’ll be okay, Lukey. You’ll see a doctor and he’ll give you some meds and you’ll be fine.” Ashton said it more to himself than anything. He was absolutely terrified. 

“Thanks Ash.” Luke breathed out. 

It took nearly twenty minutes; traffic was a bitch according to Ashton, to get to the hospital and another five to help Luke inside. Ashton couldn’t believe when they walked over to the front desk and explained Luke’s symptoms that the nurse told them they had to wait!

After they were seated, or well Ashton was seated with Luke lying across the chairs, Ashton grumbled and complained. “Glad you didn’t get shot or have some flesh eating disease. I’m sure we would have to WAIT EITHER WAY!” He said rather loudly, earning a glare from the woman behind the front desk. 

“I’m sure you’ve won some award. You can go back. I’ll call Cal or Roy to let them know I’m here.” Luke suggested as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Is this sickness messing with your brain too? I’m not going to _leave_ you here by yourself.”

“I said I would call Cal or Roy-”

“Screw that. I’m not leaving.”

“What about…?”

“Eh, I’ll have someone go pick up my award later. I would have had to say this stupid speech I wrote, but now I don’t have to. So, thanks.” 

Luke snorted, “You’re welcome. You’ll have to show me your speech later.”

“You really want to hear it?”

Luke nodded just as a man in navy blue scrubs walked over to them then, instructing Luke to stay lying down. He pressed around on certain areas of his torso, making Luke whimper. 

“Hey jerk, that hurts him!” Ashton shouted. 

“Dee,” He looked over his shoulder at the elderly nurse, “We need to get him ready for surgery.”

“Surgery?” Luke asked alarmed with wide eyes.

“I’m afraid you have appendicitis. We need to get you into surgery as soon as possible.” She gave him a nod and left. 

Ashton saw the fear in the other boy’s eyes. “Can I go in with him?”

The man shook his head, “No, not while the surgery is taking place. It’s a very simple procedure and should only take an hour at the most.”

The nurse came back with a wheelchair and the man and Ashton helped the blond boy into it. Ashton knelt in front of him, his hands resting on Luke’s knees. 

“Hey, Doc says you’ll be in and out in an hour. After you get out we’ll watch all the sappy black and white movies you want, okay?” Ashton has no idea why he said that. Maybe it’s the guilt that is seeping throughout his entire being. 

If Ashton had just pushed his selfish needs aside for once then he would have made Luke go see a doctor earlier today. No, scratch that. He would have made Luke see a doctor _days_ ago when he first noticed Luke was sick. 

Luke’s eyes shined with tears of pain and fear and Ashton just wanted to die. He reached up and cupped the back of Luke’s head and leaned up and pressed a kiss on Luke’s forehead. 

“You’ll be okay.”

Luke nodded shakily, then Ashton pressed a quick kiss to his lips. 

“See you soon.”

“Y-yeah.” 

 

They wheeled Luke away then and Ashton felt a horrible icy feeling incase his heart. He felt as though he couldn’t breath. And he wanted more than anything for the Earth to open up and swallow him whole. 

Roy’s phone was busy, so he tried Michael. He picked up on the second ring.

“What the hell, dude? We’ve been watching the whole show from our room and you didn’t go up to get your award!”

“I know,” Ashton let out a soft sigh, “Luke and I had to leave early. Uh,” He swallowed thickly. A lump had slowly formed from the time they left the show and now bloomed into a good baseball size. 

“We’re at the hospital. Doc says Luke has appendicitis.” 

Ashton pauses long enough fro Michael to utter a quiet, “Shit.”

“He’s in surgery now.” 

“Calum is telling Roy right now. We’ll be there soon.”

Ashton didn’t utter another word. He slowly brought his phone down and hung up. Luke was terrified when they took him away and he didn’t voice it. He knew Luke didn’t want him to worry. Luke was just like that, Ashton has noticed in the short time of knowing him. 

Luke cares more about others than his own well-being. He struggled through these last few days sick and in pain because he didn’t want anyone to worry about him. He struggled through today and through some of the award show for Ashton. 

Luke could have easily told Roy he didn’t feel well and stayed in the hotel the last few days, but he didn’t. No, he still went to the studio everyday. And he didn’t’ have to go with Ashton tonight, but he did because he knew Ashton needed him there. And Ashton didn’t do a damn thing about Luke’s sickness. He let Luke’s sickness slowly progress into something worse. 

Yeah, Ashton was just a piece of shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Sorry for the little cliffhanger...~


	16. Let’s do something new and unpredictable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~I'm telling you now that I haven't started on the next chapter yet, but I do have a lay out for the next few chapters. So, don't worry!~

It had been 20 minutes since he had last seen Luke and he was going crazy. He was itching for a drink. And he must have looked like some drug addict needing his next fix with the way he was bouncing his leg up and down nervously, how he chewed on his thumbnail. And he could only imagine the wild look he had in his eyes. 

Luke had been so scared when they took him away. What harm could it have done for Ashton to go with him? He would have stayed out of the way. He didn’t want Luke scared and alone in this place, even though he new Luke was knocked out for the surgery. 

If the doctors and nurses know what’s good for them they better let Ashton see Luke before he wakes up. The actor didn’t want the blond boy to be a lone for one second. He didn’t where this surge of protectiveness came from. Maybe it’s because Luke was so innocent and sweet. Who knows what it is? 

“Ashton!” Said boy looked up quickly to Michael’s red hair, followed by a frantic looking Calum and worried Roy. 

“What’s going on? What do you know?” Calum asked before they even got to him. 

Ashton stood, “He has appendicitis and he’s in surgery now.” 

“How long has he been in there? How long is it going to take?” Calum was wild with worry. Michael draped an arm around the Kiwi’s shoulder and rubbed his arm.

“He’ll be fine, babe. Lots people have to go through this.”

“Uh,” Ashton raked his fingers roughly through his hair, “About 15 minutes, maybe. Doc says it should take about an hour.” 

 

A few minutes went by before they all sat down, Ashton next to Michael, Calum was on the other side of Michael. Roy was talking to a nurse. 

After staring like a mindless zombie at nothing Ashton said quietly, “This is my fault.”

Michael squeezed his friend’s knee, “No, it’s not. Don’t say that.”

Looking to his best friend he said, “I should have done something.”

“You did! You brought him here.”

Shaking his head Ashton said, “No, I should have made him go see a doctor days ago when he first got sick.”

“What?” Calum shouted standing up, ripping himself from Michael’s comforting arms. “You knew?” 

Asthon stood as well, “Calum,” He shook his head, “I’m sorry. He said it was probably just a stomach bug and -”

“Even _you_ should know by now Luke puts his needs aside for other people! God, are you really that fucking blind? Luke has done nothing but be nice to you and you’ve treated him like he was absolute dirt! He doesn’t deserve this. _You_ don’t deserve someone as great as Luke in your life!” 

“I – I know. I’m sorry – I…”

Before Ashton could say anything else Calum reared his fist back and then slammed it as hard as he could into the actor’s nose. Ashton stumbled back and hit the ground. 

Michael quickly stood. He grabbed hold of his boyfriend’s flailing wrists from behind and then held him tightly to him before he could jump on his best friend. Saying in his ear, “Calum, calm down!” Calum fought against him.

“Let go of me Michael!” 

Ashton held his nose as blood seeped between his fingers. Roy rushed over and grabbed the boy by the elbow and hauled him up. A nurse was warning that they would have to leave if they didn’t settle down. Ashton was honestly surprised they didn’t have to leave. Calum was crying now and he turned around, wrapping his arms around Michael’s neck and burying his face in his chest. 

The same nurse handed him a box of tissues as Roy held Ashton’s face in his hands, inspecting the damage. His nose wasn’t broken and Ashton felt like such a sick bastard because he felt disappointed at that. He deserved to be pain just like Luke was. 

After everything calmed down they were sitting again, except Ashton and Roy sat on one side of the row of chairs while the young couple sat on the other. Michael had an arm over Calum’s shoulders, keeping him close. Calum had his head on Michael’s shoulder while the red head rested his head on Calum’s. Ashton’s nose stopped bleeding long ago, the only evidence was a red and swollen nose, and a small mountain of bloody tissues beside him. 

He heard Calum sniffle and say, “Luke doesn’t deserve this.”

“It’s just something that happened babe.” Michael told him quietly. “It happens all the time. It couldn’t have been stopped.”

“But he was in pain for days. This could have been taken care of sooner.”

“I know.”

“Ashton treats him like shit.”

“He’s been doing a lot better.”

“Yeah, but he should have told us Luke was sick.’

“Luke could have told us too.” 

Calum let out something between a whimper and a whine, “But he just sets aside his own needs to make people happy.”

“I know. He’s just a…he’s a baby.” Michael didn’t know what else to say. He felt protective of Luke as well. 

Calum let out a watery chuckle. “Yeah, he is.”

“But so are you.” He kisses Calum’s temple making him giggle. 

Ashton turned his attention away from them. He had this weird feeling in his chest and he couldn’t tell what it was. He rubbed the place over his heart and sighed deeply. It’s just the guilt eating away at him. 

_God, can time go any slower,_ He thought as he glanced at the round clock on the wall opposite of him. It had only been 40 minutes since Luke was taken from him. And that stupid clock seemed to be mocking him. It seemed as though every time he looked at it was the same time.

He swears if he looks up one more time and sees 11:27 again his eye will start twitching. For a brief moment he wished he had the power to control time and fast-forward through Luke’s surgery, and even fast-forward through him waking up. He just wants him and Luke back in their room watching sappy black and white romance movies. He wanted to tease Luke for being so girly and he wanted to hear Luke’s innocent comebacks. But the weird thing is, most of all, he wants to see Luke smile. 

Yeah, Ashton knew how gay that sounded. But he just didn’t care at the moment. When Luke smiles it lit up the whole room, almost as if sunshine poured from it. 

When the clock hit the hour mark Ashton looked around as if a doctor would magically appear. No one came up to them to tell them how Luke was doing. It angered Ashton. And after it had been an hour and ten minutes he got up, feeling his friends’ eyes on him. He leaned on the front counter and waited for the elderly woman to give her his attention. 

“Can I help you?” 

“Um, yeah,” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “my boyfriend went in for surgery, to have his appendix removed, over an hour ago. Can you tell me what’s going on?”

She looked to the computer to the side of her and moved the mouse around a bit. The suspense was killing Ashton.

“Oh, yes,” She pointed to the screen, “He’s should be getting out of surgery real soon. Removing appendix is a very simple procedure. There’s nothing to worry about, Dear.” 

“Okay. Thanks.” He pushed himself up off the counter and made his way back to his seat. He ignored the looks he got from the people around him. 

_Fuck them,_ He thought. He did have a heart no matter what people think or say about him. 

A few minutes later a man in navy blue scrubs, the same man who told them Luke had appendicitis, walked over to him and Roy. 

“You’re the young man who brought in Luke Hemmings, am I correct?”

The four of them stood, and Calum and Michael walked over to them. 

Ashton nodded, “Yeah, I’m his boyfriend.” He’d been saying that a lot lately. “Is he okay?” 

“The surgery went very well. He’s resting now. He can go home tomorrow morning.” He rested a hand on Ashton’s shoulder, “It’s a good thing you got him here when you did. Any longer,” He shook his head, “It wouldn’t have been good.”

“Can I see him now?”

The man nodded, “Yes, he’s in room 505. I have some other patients to attend to for now, but I will stop by the room tomorrow morning and talk with you both.” 

He began walking off in the opposite direction but stopped and turned back around, “Oh, he’ll be a little out of it because of the anesthesia.”

“This should be good,” Smirked Michael which earned smack in the chest by his boyfriend. 

 

Roy opened the door. Ashton had shoved passed Calum and into the room first. Luke lay flat on his back with his arms at his sides above the blankets. His eyes were closed and his mouth slightly open. He looked peaceful. 

Calum made it to the bed first. He ran a hand over Luke’s hair. “Poor baby.” He whispered. Luke hummed and turned his head. Cracking his eyes open he said, “Hey Cal.” 

“Hey, I didn’t mean to wake you. I just had to touch you.” _I needed reassurance my best friend was okay._

Michael came over to stand behind Calum. He was afraid to touch the blond boy. 

“Well you certainly scared the shit out of us.”

“Sorry.” His words were a bit slurred. 

Roy seated himself on the foot of his bed and patted his leg in a fatherly way, “The doctor says you will be released tomorrow morning. You’ll stay in the hotel until you recover, okay? I’m glad you’re okay, my boy.” He gave him a smile. 

Luke did something similar to a nod. 

“Well, I’m going to find that doctor of yours.” He pushed himself up and left the room. 

“Can I get you anything?” Calum asked. 

Luke shook his head. 

“It’s no trouble. I’ll ask a nurse if you can have some water.” He left and Michael went with him, because Michael followed the Kiwi boy anywhere. 

Ashton stepped forward and clasped their hands together. He did his best mind the I.V. needle embedded in the back of Luke’s hand. 

“If you pull any shit like this again, you’re fired.” Ashton had meant for it to come out lightly, but it didn’t. Nonetheless it made Luke grin. 

Ashton leaned down, their faces an inch apart, “I mean it.” 

Luke’s heart hammered in his chest and he thanked the good Lord above that he wasn’t hooked to a heart monitor. It would have skyrocketed. He tried swallowing but his throat was so dry and he was glad that Calum went to get him something to drink. Ashton couldn’t be this close to him. He wanted Ashton to kiss him again, like he had before he was taken off to have surgery. It was short and sweet. Well, maybe this time it would a little longer. He knew Ashton only did that for looks, just in case someone saw them and recognized them. Still, it was nice. 

With his free hand he brought it up to Luke’s hair and embedded his fingers in the softness. 

“Did you win anything?” Luke’s voice cracked. Man, his throat was dry. 

“Don’t know.” Ashton shrugged as he kept his hand in Luke’s, but seated himself on the edge of his bed. 

“Let’s see.” Taking his phone out looked up the results for the awards. Scanning his eyes over the celebrity names he searched for his. “I won the Actor Action award.”

“That’s awesome, Ash. Knew you would win something.”

He looked at the boy in front of him, taking in his smile. Yeah, that’s what he’s been dying to see. Luke doesn’t look like someone who just went through surgery and had an organ removed. No, he looked… _good_. He wanted to look at the boy’s smile for a bit longer so he said, “Smile for Instagram.” That way he could look at the boy’s smile any time he wanted. He had no idea what’s happening to him. He still blames the guilt and Luke’s smiling picture is some sort of reassurance. 

This woke Luke up a little. He grinned, giving thumbs up. 

Ashton grinned writing underneath it, _Sorry I wasn’t there to accept my award. Lukey got appendicitis :( But he’s a trooper!_ He showed Luke asking if it was okay. 

“Yeah,” Luke shrugged. In other words it was just fine. 

“Am I missing something?”

“Yes,” Luke grinned, “Your unending love for me.” Of course he was teasing even though he wish it were true. And he can't even believe he would joke like that with Ashton. Must be the anesthesia. Yeah, 'cause he would never joke about Ashton being in love with him unless it was drug induced. 

Ashton snorted and looked back at the picture. He smile fell as he thought of what to add. He simply added a heart at the end of the text and tagged Luke in it and posted it. Calum and Michael returned soon after that much to Ashton dismay. 

Calum kept shooting him looks that could kill. He really wasn’t Calum’s favorite person right now, but Calum wasn’t his either. He wished they would just leave. He let Luke be in pain for days and needs to fix what he messed up. 

“Thanks for the water, Cal. “ Luke said, “You guys can go back to the hotel though. I’m about to fall asleep.”

“I’m not leaving you here!” Calum burst out. 

“I’m being released in the morning. I’ll see you then.”

“I’ll sleep here.” Calum pouted as he dropped into the chair by the bed. He even crossed his arms over his chest. He was only half-joking. 

Luke looked to Michael as if to plead, _Help me out here Michael._

Michael walked up behind the chair and rubbed his boyfriend’s arms up and down gently. “Babe, I want to stay too, but we need to get some sleep. You can’t possibly get a good night’s rest in this sorry ass excuse for a chair. We’ll be here first thing in the morning, I swear.”

Calum’s arms loosened, “But…Fine!” 

Michael grinned at his boyfriend’s silliness. “Let’s go find, Roy. Coming Ashton?”

“Um, no. I think I’ll stay here for a little whole longer. I’ll get a cab back to the hotel.” 

“You sure?” Michael raised a brow in question. 

His friend gave him a nod. 

Calum hugged his friend gently, “If you ever scare me like this again, I’ll kill you myself.”

Luke let out a breathy chuckle, “Deal.”

“Bye Luke. See ya in the morning. We’re glad you’re not dead!” Michael was still scared to touch him. He was afraid if he touched him Luke would break like glass. “Your doc said you would be a little loopy with the anesthesia. You seem fine.”

“Well, I have been needing to say something and I don’t think I could ever admit it without the anesthesia.”

That caught everyone’s attention quickly. Calum sent him a worried glance. 

Luke grabbed Calum’s hand tightly in his, “I’ve been in love with you since were 13, Cal.”

Ashton knew that was impossible. Okay, it wasn’t impossible, but he knew Luke wasn’t in love with Calum of all people. And for a brief moment he thought that Luke would make a good actor. He’s a kept a straight face while _admitted his true feelings_.

“Are we going to run away together?” Calum caught onto his teasing. 

Luke shrugged, “If you’d like.”

Calum smiled and Michael chuckled. 

Once they left the room Luke turned to Ashton, “You really don’t have to stay, Ash. I’m fine, really. I’m probably just going to go to sleep.”

“Shut up, would ya Hemmings?” Ashton was said from his seat in his chair. Michael was right; this was a sorry ass excuse for a chair. But it would have to do for the night. He never planned on going back to the hotel. He was staying with Luke tonight. 

For some reason he just couldn’t bring himself to leave the blond boy. The thought of having Luke out of his sight after what happened tonight scares him. What if something else happens? 

At one point he thought, _why the hell should I care? He’s not my responsibility. But then again, he’s like a friend. No, he is a friend._ It was the first time he admitted he and Luke were friends. It wasn’t so bad being friends with him. 

“I’m staying.” He said in a that-is-final voice. 

Luke didn’t want to admit how giddy he felt that Ashton was staying. Warmth swept over him and it made him grin. The tightness in his chest returned. Yeah, he cared about Ashton so much that sometimes he wonders if he’s in love with him. 

He wasn’t sure because he didn’t know what being in love felt like. He would have to ask Calum about it soon. 

“Well, that chair can’t be comfortable.” He bit his lip, debating if he should invite the older boy to share his bed. It was large enough. The bed practically swallowed him by himself. “At least get up here with me.”

Ashton looked at him as if he had lost his ever-loving mind. 

“Don’t look at me like that. We share a bed every night.”

“It’s not that, Stupid! You just had fucking surgery!” 

“Sleep on the other side then.”

Ashton pondered whether he should or not. What harm could come with him sleeping on the side Luke wasn’t stitched up? 

“Um, yeah, alright.” He walked around the bed, toed his shoes off and waited for Luke to easily move himself over. Ashton then climbed into the bed, being as careful as he could possibly be. 

He eased himself down beside the blond. Luke threw the blanket over him as well. 

“You okay?”

Luke nodded, “You?”

It was Ashton’s turn to nod.

“This bed is absolute shit! You would think they could get some comfortable beds for the patients. My God.” 

Ashton’s little rant caused Luke giggle tiredly into his shoulder. It caused the actor to grin. 

“Get some sleep.” Luke said his eyes already closed. He was tucked into Ashton’s side and he felt warm and safe there. He never thought in a million years that Ashton would have allowed this. Maybe, just maybe, things were changing. 

Ashton has changed tremendously over the last two weeks, but things felt different, Luke could tell. He just hoped things would stay like this, or even if they progressed a little more, Luke wouldn’t mind at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Sorry this chapter is a little shorter.~


	17. Know you make me feel alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Still a little ways to go with this story...~

Ashton awoke first the next morning. The first thing he noticed was that he was very warm. The second thing was that he wasn’t in his room, or he wasn’t in his hotel room. 

Blinking he stretched, arching his back off the bed. It seemed a bit difficult to do this morning though. Looking down he saw that a certain blond boy laid half way on top of him. 

Looking around at their surroundings he groaned when he remembered the night before. Luke got sick and had to have surgery. Luke hummed softly in his sleep and readjusted himself against the actor. 

Ashton hated the way the guilt was slowly eating away at his entire being. Calum was right. He didn’t deserve someone like Luke as a friend. He didn’t deserve him in his life at all. 

He was brought back to reality by a light tap on the door. Luke’s doctor walked in with a smile. 

“Good morning.” He said quietly. “I just came by to check Luke over and explain what is expected of him to do while he’s healing.” 

“Oh, right. Sure.” He looked down at Luke. He was sleeping so soundly that Ashton hated to wake him. 

“Hey, Lukey.” He shifted ever so lightly, making said boy groan.

“What?”

Ashton couldn’t help but to grin, “Wake up, loser. Doc’s here.”

Luke opened his tired eyes. 

“Just a small checkup, Luke.” The doctor said moving to his side of the bed. He lifted back the blanket and then proceeded to lift Luke’s hospital gown, making Luke blush madly. Thank God he had underwear on still or else Ashton would have seen everything. Luke thinks he would have died of embarrassment if that happened. 

“The stitches look good. I’m going to change the bandage.” He pulled a tray from off to the side and then gently peeled off Luke’s bandage. Ashton found himself leaning over to look at the surgical incision. It didn’t look so bad. “Wait 24 hours at the most to change the bandage again. After 24 hours change it every day and night. Not too much activity, it will tears the stitches.”

He dropped the bloody bandage in wastebasket by the bed. “Use hydrogen peroxide and Neosporin is good too. Avoid swimming especially in chlorine water. That will cause infection. No aspirin or alcohol of any kind either, that will thin the blood.” He picked up a new square bandage and held it over Luke’s stitches. It made Luke wince and Ashton wanted to scream at the doctor to be more careful. But then again, the man is the doctor here, not Ashton. 

“If you contract a fever, if there is a lot of itchiness around the area, redness appears or if drainage becomes a yellow or green color then that means it is infected and you must come back here immediately.” He applied some surgical tape around the bandage before pulling the hospital gown back down again. 

 

“And finally, I used sutures to stitch up the incision. In other words, they will start to dissolve within two weeks. Your manager informed me you might be too busy to come back here and have the stitches removed. I thought sutures would be easier on everyone. 

“Any questions?”

Ashton shook his head turning to see if Luke had any. He didn’t. 

“Very well then. I will bring you your clothes you arrived in last night. It’s hospital regulations you leave in a wheelchair. I will get one of those as well. You’ll need to sign some papers, but other than that you are free to go.” 

“Thank you.” Grinned Luke. 

He left the room. 

“Well, ready to go?”

Sighing heavily Luke said, “Yeah. M’already tired of this place.”

“What do you want to do when we get back?”

Luke shrugged, “Don’t know. I’m sure Calum will be on me like white on rice though.”

Ashton rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Well, he can’t get in as long as he doesn’t have a key to our room.”

“He’ll find way in.” He replied seriously. 

“He’s probably already waiting underneath our bed.”

Luke giggled, “Or in the shower.”

“I was about to say in the closet, but we all know he is definitely not in the closet.” He made an _oops_ face which caused Luke to giggle some more. 

“Here you are.” The doctor said as he walked in with Luke’s clothes folded neatly in a pile. He sat them down at the foot of the bed. “A nurse will come in with the paperwork and wheelchair shortly.” 

After he left Ashton got up from the bed and closed the door. “Let me help.” He walked over to Luke’s side of the bed. Luke swung his legs over the side of the bed. Ashton put his hands on his hips, making sure avoid his stitches. With his arm around Ashton’s neck he slid off the bed. 

“You good?” The actor asked once Luke had been standing a full 30 seconds. 

“Uh, yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” 

Ashton hesitantly and slowly let go of him before grabbing Luke’s clothes up. 

“I’ll um, if you need me just ask.” _Or we can wait until Calum gets here._ He almost suggested, but for someone unknown reason Ashton didn’t want Calum to help Luke. He felt like it was his responsibility to help the blond boy if he needs anything. 

“Yeah, sure.” His cheeks turned pink, “Can you turn around?”

Ashton rolled his eyes, because _really_? What a fucking prude? They’re both guys. He turned around though like he was asked. 

“I - I wouldn’t want you to get hot and bothered.” Luke teased, which cause Ashton to bite his lip to keep from smiling. He failed. 

It had been easy to get out of his gown since there was no back. It literally slid from his body once he untied it from the back of his neck. He had to put his shirt on a little awkwardly because of his stitches. His pants were going to be a little more difficult because when he bent over it hurt. 

He refused to ask for Ashton’s help to put his pants on. That would just be way too embarrassing and besides he pictured Ashton laughing at him and saying something along the lines like, _Wow, baby can’t even put his fucking pants on!_

Luke would probably just cry…And then he really would be like a baby. 

“Do you need anything?”

“Um…?” 

“I take that as a yes.” Ashton turned around to see Luke in his shirt and black boxer-briefs. 

The blond boy blushed madly. 

“Here,” Ashton took his pants from him, making him squeak. “I’ll hold them down low and you can just step into them.” Luke nodded and Ashton held them down as low as possible. 

Luke stepped into them, his hands coming to rest on the actor’s shoulders. After Luke was in them Ashton knelt down in front of him, his hands on the button of the jeans, making Luke extremely nervous. 

“No blowjob jokes, got it?” Ashton sent him a stern look and Luke quickly nodded. He wouldn’t have made any jokes like that anyway. 

Ashton buttoned and zipped them. He had no idea why. Luke was perfectly capable of doing that himself. 

“Whoa-ho! What’s going on here?” Michael’s voice echoed through the room. 

The _couple_ whipped their heads towards the door to see their friends in the doorway. Calum had a single bright yellow daisy. 

“Hey, should you be out of bed?”

“Doc says I’m good.” 

Calum walked over to them just as Ashton was standing. 

“Got this for you.” Calum held the flower out and Luke took it with a stupid huge grin on his face. “Thanks Cal.” 

Maybe Ashton should have gone to get him flowers. Then he would be the reason Luke has that stupid grin on his face. Not stupid Calum. But then again, he was the one who spent the night here in bed with blue-eyed creature. 

“Here, I’ll help you with your shoes.” 

“So, Ashton helped me with my pants, Calum is helping me with my shoes, what are you going to help me with Michael?” Luke’s voice was light and teasing. 

“I can give you a sponge bath.” suggested Michael. 

Luke chuckled, “Okay. Be in our hotel room by noon.” 

“Deal.” 

“There,” Calum said as he finished tying Luke’s shoe. “All done.” 

Luke kicked his feet back and forth, “Thank you Calum!” He sang. 

Calum grinned at him. 

A few minutes later a nurse came by with a wheelchair and a clipboard full of papers Luke would need to fill out. Both Calum and Ashton helped him get in it while Michael began filling out the papers. 

“What’s your birthday, Luke?”

“July 16, 1996. I said I could fill that out.”

“Eh, I’m bored.” Michael gave a shrug. 

“Address?”

Luke gave it to him. 

“Phone number you can be reached?”

Luke sighed, but smiled and told him his cell phone number. 

“Now, do you or anyone in your family have any of the following; diabetes, asthma, cancer, high blood sugar, low blood sugar, AIDS, HIV, arthritis, epilepsy, STDs, or HEY!” His mouth ran a mile a minute before Ashton ripped the clipboard from his friend’s hands. 

“Why’d you do that?” Michael whined. “You’re no fun!” He threw the pen at the actor. It hit his chest and fell to the floor.

As he handed it to Luke he said, “Because you’re voice is super annoying.” Luke took it gratefully. Ashton picked the pen up and handed it to Luke. 

Luke hurriedly filled out the papers. He was so ready to get out of here. And maybe, he was hoping that him and Ashton could cuddle in their bed back at the hotel like they had here. He was trying not to get his hopes up to high since Ashton changed his mood like the wind. 

There was a small glare-down between Calum and Ashton who both wanted to push Luke’s wheelchair. Michael moved passed him and wheeled Luke out. That earned him a loud, “HEY,” from both boys. 

Roy was leaning against the front desk speaking with a nurse. He smiled when he saw his boys coming. “Luke, you look a lot better.”

“I feel a lot better.” He grinned. 

He squeezed his shoulder, “Good to hear. Ready to go?”

They nodded. 

The ride back to the hotel went smoothly and Luke couldn’t have been more relieved when they reached their floor. He had leaning against the wall, feeling exhausted. 

 

Ashton opened the door to their room and he quickly ushered Luke inside and closed the door before Calum could follow.

“Ashton!” He yelled and beat on the door. 

“Luke needs his rest!” 

“Ash.” Luke said in a warning tone as he moved passed the actor and opened the door. “I’m probably going to just sleep for a while, Cal.” 

“Okay. Well call me if you need anything.” 

Luke smiled, “I will.” He moved forward and hugged his friend. He closed the door and made his way to the bed, toeing his shoes off as he went. Ashton went over to the drawers and grabbed a pair of sweat pants and a lose t-shirt. 

“Here, let’s get you into these.”

After they were both in pajamas they laid in bed. “What do you want to watch?”

Luke shrugged, “Whatever you want to.” 

Ashton began flipping through the channels, barely skimming over the movie titles and summaries. One caught his eye, because it showed the year it came out, which was 1954. 

Luke loved old movies. It was about to start, so he clicked on it. Looking over to the blonde he saw Luke was on his phone. 

He bumped his shoulder against his, “Hey, do you like this movie?” 

Glancing over his phone his eyes widened, “I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to see it though! Can we watch it, please, Ash?”

“Yeah, we can watch it.” 

Luke set his phone on the nightstand and settled comfortably in the bed. As the movie began to progress, Ashton had to admit it was pretty interesting. This guy is stuck in a wheelchair in his apartment with a cast on his leg. And he suspects his neighbor kills his wife. 

When it went to a commercial Ashton looked over to Luke once again. He looked so comfortable. They were pressed against one another; Ashton sat up a little more than Luke, against the headboard. And Luke rested his head against the actor’s arm. Just like Luke’s smile, he had to capture this moment. 

Taking his phone he said, “Selfie.” It made Luke look up and smile; Ashton did the same. “This one’s going on Instagram.” And it did, with a caption that said; _Recovery/lazy day in bed with Lukey J_ Luke had come with the caption, but Ashton weirdly enough didn’t mind. 

The movie began again and they watched it excitedly. 

“OH MY GOD! CAN YOU BELIVE SHE DID THAT? GIRLS ARE DUMB!” Ashton yelled once the movie was over. 

“Or just brave.” 

“No, she was dumb.” He held the remote up, but before he changed the channel Luke grabbed it. 

He brought up the menu and said, “Psycho is up next, followed by Vertigo and North by Northwest. They’re all Alfred Hitchcock movies. I’ve seen Psycho, but neither of the others.” 

“Are they like Rear Window?”

“They’re all similar, creepy.”

“Let’s watch them then.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Why not?” Ashton gave the other boy a shrug. 

The rest of the day they watched Hitchcock films. When dinnertime rolled around Luke was starving, not having eaten much in the last few days. His hunger pains felt like being stabbed with a knife. 

Ashton ordered a pizza. Luke looked up from his phone just in time to see Ashton taking his shirt off. His throat went dry and he tried looking away. He failed. 

“I’m going to shower before the pizza gets here.”

“Alright.” 

As soon as the bathroom door closed he text Calum. He needed to ask his best friend something that has been on his mind for a while now. Well, the last week or so anyway. 

_Hey, how do you know you’re in love?_

He regretted it as soon as he sent it. Calum will obviously tell Michael and they’ll both sit him down and lecture him like a little kid. He knows Ashton isn’t gay. He knows this will only end badly. This wasn’t some fairytale romance movie where Ashton ends up falling for Luke and they ride off into the sunset on a white horse. 

He was just thinking how he should asked Miles instead when his best friend text him back. 

_Luke, Ashton isn’t gay. You know that._

_I know he’ll never return my feelings. I just want to know if I’m in love._

_Okay, well, all that love dovey shit about you’re heart beating faster and how you’re happy around them and want to be with them all the time is true._

Luke grinned at the text, because yeah, he’s always kind of known he was in love with Ashton. He just wants to confirm it. It did suck that the one he loves will never love him back. That happens in life sometimes though. 

And if he can only get Ashton’s friendship, then so be it. He’ll take what he can get. 

“Coming!” Ashton yelled, breaking Luke from his thoughts. How long has there been knocking at the door? Luke pushed himself up and was almost to the door when Ashton bolted from the bathroom. They rammed into one another, falling to the ground in a tangle of limbs. 

Luke let out a soft groan at the extra weight on top of him. Ashton muttered a soft, “Shit! You alright?” His hair was dark looking from the shower. Drops fell from his curls. Luke couldn’t help but to think of how handsome he looked. 

He bit his lip and flushed, “Uh, fine. I’m fine. Uh, are just in a towel?” Luke could feel the outline of Ashton’ cock. He’s never been underneath someone like this before. It wasn’t so bad. 

Quickly looking down as if he forgot Ashton got up, his towel barely hanging onto his hips. He didn’t help Luke up. He was clearly embarrassed. He was scowling and Luke hoped this didn’t change things between them. 

_He shouldn’t be embarrassed._ Thought Luke as he had to try and grip onto the wall to help him up. He was still very sore. As the actor answered the door Luke lifted his shirt to check his stitches. They were still in tact. Thank God. 

“Did your stitches tear?” Aston asked, setting the pizza on the bed and coming over to him. 

Luke’s skin was on fire, to be honest. Ashton had been on top of him in nothing but a towel. And he was still in nothing but a towel! Luke hoped his cheeks weren’t pink. God, that would just be so embarrassing. 

What was really embarrassing is that Luke wished Ashton had been completely naked. Luke had never been underneath someone naked before. Maybe they both could have been naked, on the bed, and kissing would have been nice too. 

Was Luke turned on now? That hasn’t happened before? Sure, he’s looked at Jared Leto or Alex Gaskarth and thought _I wouldn’t mind if he…._ Anyway, wow, it’s really hot in here all of a sudden. 

“Luke! Hey,” Ashton’s face was so close to his now. 

“Huh? What?”

“What the hell, man? You totally zoned out.” Ashton frowned slightly in concern. 

“Sorry, sorry, my stitches, they hurt really bad sometime. I’m sorry.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie, but they just weren’t hurting that particular moment. 

“Don’t be sorry,” Ashton shook his head, “Did they tear?” 

It was Luke’s turn to shake his head. 

“Good.”

“Hey Aston?”

“Yeah?”

Luke swallowed hard, “Do you think you can put some clothes on now?”

Ashton swayed his lips a little, “Why? You don’t wanna show?”

Luke’s blush deepened, “In your dreams.” He mumbled. 

Ashton snorted as he went over to the drawers, “Whose the gay one here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Sorry if this chapter was a little boring.~


	18. He put me on meds, he won’t get out of my head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Hey all! So, I've been out of the 5SOS game for a little while, but I'm back! What the ever living heck happened to them? They look like grown men now! They're all buff and Luke's jawline! They look like men! Anyway, in this story they're 2014 5SOS, okay? You know, SLSP era. Just wanted to clear that up, my lovelies.~

Three days later of laying in bed, watching movies, eating pizza and having all kinds of conversations Roy told Ashton he had to go back to the set. Ashton complained the whole time he got ready for the day. Luke laid back on their bed and watched with an amused smile on his face. He knew the actor just didn’t want to go back to work, that he enjoyed sleeping in and doing whatever he wanted.

Luke had even offered to come so he could keep him company on Ashton’s break. Ashton had simply replied, “Are you freaking serious? You got out of the hospital just a few days ago!” 

“Yeah, and I feel fine! I’m going to be bored here by myself.”

“I’m sure Mikey and Calum will drop by.” That’s true. Every hour Luke gets a text from Calum asking if he needed something or if he wanted him to come to their room. Luke would always politely decline. Ashton and him had spent almost every waking second together the last few days. And it’s been the best time of Luke’s life. 

“Yeah.” Luke said glumly. 

Ashton was adjusting his hoodie as he looked back at the blond. “I’ll, um, text you on my break.”

Luke grinned, “Okay. Thanks. Oh, um, if you see Calum and Michael can you tell them I’m asleep.”

Ashton smirked, “They are pretty annoying, huh?”

“It’s not that. I just,” Luke shrugged. He hasn’t been alone with them in days and he knew as soon as they are then they will bug him about how Ashton will never return his feelings. He didn’t want to deal with that now. 

“Yeah, sure. I’ll tell them.” Ashton grabbed his phone and wallet and headed to the door. With his hand on the knob he looked back at Luke, “See ya later.”

“Bye.” Luke gave him a small wave from the bed. Luke was not happy about spending the day alone, while also trying to avoid Calum and Michael. 

Ashton knew Luke didn’t want to be by himself and that added to the guilt he already felt. And a month ago he wouldn’t have cared if Luke was sad, but it’s different now. “Hey, give me a Hemmings smile eh, Lukey?”

It did make Luke smile, and for some his blue eyes looked more electrifying. Ashton’s heart hammered in his chest. And with a quick, “Bye,” he ripped the door open and stepped out into the hall. He leaned on it once it was closed. Closing his eyes he exhaled. 

“Hey Ash!” He heard Michael yell. He jumped slightly and then glared at his best friend. 

“Can you let us in to see Luke?” Calum asked hopefully.

Ashton looked at the Kiwi boy. “He’s asleep, totally conked out. Think its meds or something. By the looks of him he won’t be awake any time soon.”

He watched Calum slowly deflate. “Oh. Well, can you at least leave us your key?”

Ashton was quick to come up with a lie, “Nope. This,” He held up his keycard, “Is Lukey’s. Lost mine a while ago.”

“Lukey?” Michael questioned with a raised brow. 

Ashton’s face turned bright red, “It’s just a stupid nickname I call him. I’d rather call him that than Sweetheart or any other shitty pet name couples call each other. Anyway, I have better things to do than explain myself to you. And,” He looked at his phone, “Great, thanks to you I’m going to be late to the set now.” 

He stomped off down the hall. They watched him go. 

“How can Luke have feelings for him?” Calum wondered aloud. 

“I’ve been asking myself that everyday for the last couple months. Now, let’s go eat breakfast. Around lunchtime we’ll see if Luke is awake.” 

 

Ashton was actually 15 minutes early to the studio. Lou ushered him over to the makeup station. He climbed up in the chair and she began getting him ready. Taking out his phone he sent a quick text to Luke. 

_Mikey and Cal bugging you yet?_

_No, but I heard them say they will be back around lunchtime!_

Ashton smirked, _Sucks to be you._

_Wish I was at the studio with you._

Ashton could just picture Luke pouting as he sent the last text. _Yeah, wish you were here too. I don’t want anyone to endure Mikey and Cal’s annoying nature._

George came over to him, “Hello Ashton. How are you?”

Ashton glanced up from his phone. “Alright. And you?”

“Can’t complain. Hey, how’s Luke? I saw your post on Instagram.”

“He’s doing a lot better. Just resting back in our room. He wanted to come today, but I wouldn’t let him.”

The older man nodded, “You know, I couldn’t believe it when you introduced him to me as your boyfriend. With all of your…Female companions, I was just shocked. But you seem to care a whole lot about him.”

Ashton didn’t know what to say to that, so he kept quiet. 

“I,” He seemed to hesitant to continue, “I was really worried about you, with your lifestyle and attitude. And I don’t know too much about him, though I do know Luke seems to have changed you for the better. He’s good for you. You need each other. And I hope you two are together for a really long time.” 

Ashton lowered his phone, and looked away from the director. He ran through what George said a few times before he gave him an uneasy, “Thanks.” 

George smiled with a nod, “Didn’t mean to get all mushy with you. Be on set as soon as possible. He looks great, Lou.” He then left the room. 

“He’s right, you know. You and Luke are complete opposites, but you’re good together. He’s had such an amazing effect on you it’s almost unbelievable.” She walks round to stand in front of him, can of hairspray in one hand and a comb in the other. 

“I’m glad you’re together. I’m happy for you. Luke’s a really great guy. I better get an invitation.” She teased his hair and then used the hairspray. 

“Invitation?” He questioned. 

“To your wedding! I guess it doesn’t matter if I get one or not. I’ll come either way.” She giggled, setting the brush down. She picked up some foundation and began applying it to his face. 

Wedding? Since when is there going to be a wedding? Ashton could not be married to Luke! He wasn’t gay! And they’ve only been _dating_ a few months!

“Oh honey, don’t look so scared! I was only joking!” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “But I do hope you and Luke last a long time, and by a long time, I mean till they day you die. You two are just the cutest. All done!”

“Thanks.” He slid off the chair in a daze, not even checking himself over in the mirror. Lou could have made him look like a clown for all he knew, but at that moment he couldn't bring himself to care. 

His day hadn’t even really started yet and so far two people told him how much Luke has changed him and how they can tell that Ashton loves him so much. What the hell? That was impossible. He didn’t care for Luke, not like that anyway. Luke was a good friend, but that’s all he was to Ashton. 

The rest of the day went by in haze. He forgot his lines, or stuttered through them. He tripped his co-star by accident and he even dropped his water bottle all over his lap. George yelled for people to hurry and find him the exact same pants Ashton had soaked. All this happened because of Luke. Luke haunted is every thought and he didn’t like it. He couldn’t even concentrate on his job! It was bad enough he still felt terribly guilty over Luke's hospital escapade. 

George sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. It was nearing 5 in the afternoon and they only managed to film a scene and a half. George made them work through their lunch break to make up for lost time. “Okay everybody, take 5!”

“Ashton, what the hell is wrong with you?” He scolded once everyone dispersed. 

“I-I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.”

“He’s worried about Luke being by himself all day.” Lou said in a baby voice and kissed his cheek before giggling. 

George’s shoulders slumped, “Is that it? You’re worried about Luke? I thought you said he was doing better.” 

“He is. But, I just…I don’t know.”

“Look, let’s just get through the rest of this scene and you can get off early, okay?”

Ashton nodded eagerly. He did kind of want to see how the blond was doing. But he mostly wanted to get away from these people. He made a fool of himself more than once today. 

George slapped him lightly on the shoulder, “That’s my boy. Alright,” He shouted getting everyone’s attention, “This will be the last scene for today!”

“You must really love him, huh?” Lou grinned at him. 

Ashton’s heart beat widely in his chest, “I, uh, I – I don’t know.”

Her smile widened, “Tell Luke I said hey.” She walked away saying, "Ah, young love." 

And he was left with his thoughts. Or well, he was until George literally dragged him back to the set. 

 

Roy met him at the entrance of the building. “Hey, George said your head was up in the clouds today.” 

“Yeah, just having an off day.”

“Luke’s been bored out of his mind,” The older man chuckled. “He’ll be excited to see you. But for some reason he didn’t spend time with Calum and Michael today.”

“Calum would mother hen him to death.” 

Roy laughed, “I see. Well, let’s get going, so you can save him. I’m sure Calum and Michael all about broke the door down.”

“Uh, hey, I was wondering if I could go for a walk. I kind of just want to clear my head.”

“I don’t know, Ashton.”

“It’s not dark out yet and won’t be for another hour. I’ll walk around for a little bit and then take a cab back to the hotel.” 

Roy contemplated this for a good five minutes before sighing, “Fine. But you call me as soon as you get in a cab.”

“I will.” Ashton nodded. 

“Don’t go getting into trouble.”

“I won’t.”

“I don’t like this. Be careful.”

“See you later, Roy.” 

Ashton shoved his hands in his pockets and left the studio. It wasn’t long before he came across a place he was subconsciously hoping he would find; a bar. Luke and Roy and everyone would be so disappointed in him, but at that moment he couldn’t bring himself to care. His thoughts and emotions were so mixed up he just wanted to forget everything. 

 

Roy had sent a text to Luke telling him that Ashton was going for a walk and would be back later. Luke frowned at that. Did Ashton not want to see him? He tried to think back in the passed few days they spent together. He couldn’t think of one time Luke messed up and angered Ashton in any way. He thought about texting the actor, but decided against it. Ashton wanted to be alone so Luke was going to give him the space he needed. Luke felt so pathetic for wanting the actor here with him so badly.

It was nearing midnight and Luke still hadn’t heard from Ashton. Luke’s anxiety grew and at one point he almost left the safety of their hotel room to go look for him. But he soon pushed that thought from his mind. Ashton could be anywhere in the city. Just when Luke was going to go down the hall to Roy’s room and wake him to inform him that Ashton still wasn’t back the door opened. Luke rushed over to him and hugged him tightly. 

“Ash, I was so worried! You never…” He stopped when he smelt it. He stepped away from the actor. Looking at him to took his dazed expression, and they way he was barely keeping himself up. “You’ve been drinking.”

Ashton grinned lazily at him and used his pointer finger and thumb to show Luke he had been drinking, but just _a little bit_.

“A little my ass, Ashton!” Luke shouted. Ashton stepped inside and closed the door. 

“Why? You’ve been doing so well! What brought this on? Did something happen?” Ashton fell onto the bed with a sigh, ignoring Luke’s rant. 

“I thought you changed.” Luke said glumly, “I guess I was wrong. I’m not good enough to help you. I’m not _strong_ enough.” Tears formed in eyes. He felt betrayed. Why did Ashton want to go out and drink rather than spend time with him? Was he that boring, that terrible that Ashton couldn’t even bare to be in the same room as him? What had he done when he was out? Did he sleep someone? That thought hurt Luke too badly to ponder on for too long. 

He leaned against the door, a couple tears falling down his cheeks. Every time they take a step forward, they take two steps backwards. Bowing his head down, he let his tears fall to the floor rather down his face. Suddenly feet appeared in his line of vision. Looking up he saw Ashton standing right in front of him. 

“Ash, just go to bed. You’re going to have a horrible hangover tomorrow.” Luke half-heartedly pushed him back by the chest. 

Ashton, even in his drunken state was stronger than Luke. He pushed his way forward and crashed their lips together. Luke’s eyes widened and struggled against him. 

“Ashton!” He tried to shout, but it came out all muffled. 

He pushed the actor away long enough for him to yell, “Ashton! Stop!”

Ashton came forward again, burying his face in Luke’s neck, kissing the sensitive skin there. His hands went down to sweatpants. He pulled the string and the knot came undone. Luke’s heart was racing. What the hell was happening? Ashton always called Luke a girl, so maybe Ashton just thinks he’s about to have sex with some girl. Ashton slipped a hand up under the blonde's shirt, feeling the warm skin above his hip bone. Just as he slid a hand down Luke's pants he conjured up all his strength and he shoved Ashton away. The actor stumbled back and hit the ground and he just laid there. 

“Oh my God, Ash!” Luke raced forward and got to his knees, “I’m sorry. Are you hurt?” Luke’s pride was sure hurt. 

Ashton slurred something before his head dropped back on the floor. Luke starred at him for a long time before standing. Tying his sweatpants back up, tightly, he went over and switched the light off. He got in bed, leaving Ashton on the floor. Usually Luke would have dragged him up on the bed, so he wouldn’t be sore in the morning, but not this time. Let the bastard be sore. 

What would have happened if Luke had done nothing? Ashton would have surely raped the blond boy. Would it really have been considered rape though? Luke was in love with Ashton. But yes, it would have still been rape. Luke didn’t want his first time to be with someone drunk off their ass. 

Sleep didn’t come easy for him for a long time. 

 

The next morning Ashton woke with a loud moan. His head felt like someone took a hammer to it and his neck, damn, was it sore. He reached out for the blanket and pillow, but couldn’t find either. Cracking his eyes open he wondered why he never noticed how close the bed was to the floor. Wait, no he was _on_ the floor! 

“What the hell?” He rasped. Picking his head up slowly he saw Luke was not in the bed. He tried to remember what happened the night before. He remembered walking around the city for a bit before going into a bar. He ordered a few drinks and then nothing. The bathroom door opened and out came Luke. He looked at Ashton before getting into bed. He sat criss-cross on his side of the bed. 

Ashton used the foot of the bed to help him sit up. “Hey, what happened last night?” He was so thirsty. It felt like his mouth and throat were covered in sand. 

Luke ignored him, messing with his phone.

“Look,” He got to his knees, propping his elbows up on the bed, “I know I shouldn’t have drank that much, but I had a lot on my mind. I’m sorry, okay? Lukey?” Why the hell was he apologizing? He could whatever he wanted. But he just couldn’t stand the thought of Luke being mad at him. Why? He had no idea. 

Luke glanced up from his phone to look at him before looking back down. 

“Luke, hey! Talk to me! I’m sorry, okay?” Why was his heart racing like this? He wanted to hear Luke’s voice so badly all of a sudden. 

“Okay.” Luke said, not looking at him. 

“Are you mad because I got drunk?”

“It’s so much more that, Ashton!” Luke shouted finally making eye contact with him. 

“Well, what is it?”

Luke groaned loudly, resting his elbows on his thighs and throwing his face into his hands. “You know what you did, you asshole!”

Luke has only ever called Ashton ‘Jerk’ as an insult. So, him calling Ashton an ‘asshole’ surprised him. Whatever Ashton did must have been pretty bad. 

“Well, I don’t remember! I was drunk! So, maybe you can enlighten me a little bit!” 

Ashton needed to know what he did so he could make it right. He wanted things be like they had been between them. 

“I just,” Luke sighed with his face still hidden, “I’m tired, Ashton. I knew this job would be a lot of work, but I’m _tired_. You confuse the hell out of me. One minute we’re absolute best friends and then you’re a complete asshole. I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

Ashton’s heart jolted. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know!” Luke finally looked up at him. “I thought you changed Ashton. You stopped going out and being stupid. You were doing so well and then you went out last night got drunk. And the stunt you pulled last night. I just…” He sighed, not feeling like talking anymore. 

“I have changed! I won’t go out and drink anymore. I promise! Just tell me what _stunt_ I pulled.”

Luke cheeks were red and Ashton didn’t know if it was anger or from him trying not to cry. The actor felt horrible. The thought of Luke being so upset because of him made Ashton want to scream. What changed in him all of a sudden? It scared him. Luke has changed him. But into what? 

“You kissed me last night.” Ashton opened his mouth to speak, but Luke continued, “Twice.”

“Luke, I…”

“And then,” Luke began. Ashton didn’t think he could take anymore. Why would he kiss Luke willingly? He liked Luke as a friend and nothing more. “You tried to…” Luke searched for the right words, “Undress me. I just, you didn’t realize who I was, I’m sure. But it just, ugh!” 

“I – I’m so sorry, Luke. You’re right; I just probably mixed you up with someone else. I’m sorry. It's been a while since, you know.” He said.

He rested his forehead against the bed. What happened? Why did he kiss Luke of all people? He was straight for God’s sake! Everything people have been telling lately just went to his head. Luke is so girly he must have just mistaken him for a girl! That’s it! Makes perfect sense! 

“Just, go shower and get cleaned up. I told Roy you weren’t feeling good.” 

“Thanks.” Ashton said quietly. 

After his shower he crawls into bed with a content sigh. Glancing up at the blond he said, “Wanna watch a movie?”

“No.” Luke was too busy playing Quizup on his phone to be bothered by the older boy. 

“We can listen to music?”

“I’m good.” 

"We can talk about how annoying Calum and Michael are?”

“No thanks.”

Ashton sighed and rolled onto his back. 

Luke got out of bed, “I’m gonna shower.” 

When the bathroom door closed Ashton turned onto his side, facing the window. He rapped his knuckles on the wooden nightstand in the tune of Lies by McFly. An idea struck him and he quickly picked his head up and looked at the nightstand. Getting to his feet he moved the lamp and clock onto the floor gently and pushed the wooden block out from the wall. 

Luke took his sweet time in the shower, spending at least 20 minutes in there. When he emerged he wore another pair of sweat pants and an old All Time Low concert shirt. He was toweling his hair. When he looked up he dropped his arms to his sides, towel in hand. “What are you doing, Ash?”

“Cheering you up.” Was the only thing he said before he started drumming a familiar tune.

_When Rome’s in ruins_  
_We are the lions_  
_Free of the coliseums_  
_In poised places_  
_We are the anti-venom_  
_We’re the beginning of the end_

Luke bit his lower to lip to from grinning. He failed. 

_Tonight_  
_The foxes hunt the hounds_  
_It’s all over now_  
_Before it has begun_

Luke’s heart was racing. Ashton was singing to him! 

_We are wild_  
_We are like young volcanoes_  
_We are wild_  
_America exotica_  
_Do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby_

Ashton had no Earthly idea why he was doing this. He just couldn't stand Luke being mad at him. All these feelings were a bit overwhelming. 

_Come on make it easy_  
_Say I never mattered_  
_Run it up the flagpole_  
_We will teach you_  
_How to make_  
_Boys next door_ He pointed Luke.  
_Out of assholes _And then he pointed to himself to which Luke giggled at.__

_____Tonight_  
_The foxes hunt the hounds_  
_It’s all over now_  
_Before it has begun_  
_And we’ve already won_

__Before Ashton could continue with the song Luke said, “Okay, okay. I get it. You’re sorry.” He smirked, “Who knew you were such a romantic serenading me with music.”_ _

__“Ah shut up, Hemmings!”_ _

__Luke grinned, not understanding how he couldn't stay mad at the actor before him for too long._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~So, I'm thinking this only has about 3, 4, or 5 chapters left to go...Song Ashton sang was Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy.~


	19. I play the same part where I'm chasing your sick little heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Well, I think this story is almost done. I think about maybe three or four more chapters.~

“Plleeaaase, Ashton! I can’t take it anymore! Please!” Luke begged. 

“No!” Ashton shouted. 

“I feel fine! My stitches don’t even hurt anymore! I’m so bored here! Please!”

“Maybe tomorrow.” Ashton stated nonchalantly. 

“I have to get out of here or I’ll go crazy! I haven’t left this room in almost a week!”

It was the day after Ashton serenaded Luke with a Fall Out Boy song. Luke had begged Ashton to let him go out since they woke up an hour ago. Ashton didn’t want Luke to go out just yet. What if something were to go wrong? Or Luke got sick again? He wouldn’t be able to handle it. 

“I just want to walk around, feel the sun on my face!”

“You’re so corny.” Laughed Ashton as he laid back in bed. “There answer’s still no.”

Luke was on top of him then, hovering over him, “Ashton, please! I’m so bored!”

“Well, let’s watch a movie then.”

“No! No more movies! I want to go out!” 

“If we go out will you shut up?”

Luke nodded hurriedly. 

Rolling his eyes the actor said, “Fine. Let’s go.”

“Let me get dressed!” He flew off of Ashton at warp speed. In a matter of 60 seconds Luke was dressed in black skinny jeans, an All Time Low Raglan Shirt, and his black Chuck Taylors. Ashton was amazed he got dressed that fast. He hadn’t even made it off the bed yet. 

“Hurry, get dressed! I’ll get Calum and Michael!” He raced to the door. 

Ashton groaned, “Oh God, they’re coming? Calum hates me.”

“No he doesn’t. He just doesn’t know you.” He left the room then.

Ashton threw on a pair of black jeans, matching boots, and a plain light gray t-shirt. 

 

Luke knocked repetitively until Michael threw open he door. “God, what?”

“Hey, we’re going out. Wanna come?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

“Is that Luke?” Calum said and made his appearance. His smile smell and he put his hands on his hips, “I haven’t seen you in _days_ , Lucas!”

“I know, I’m sorry. I just had been sleeping off and on all day. Now, get dressed! Please, I _need_ to get out of here!” 

Before anything else could be said he turned and walked into his and Ashton’s room. Ashton was stuffing his phone and wallet into his pockets. 

“Are they coming?”

Luke nodded and Ashton groaned. The blond grabbed his hand and led him to the door excitedly. When they stepped out of their room Michael and Calum were standing in front of their room. 

Luke tugged on Ashton’s hand, “Let’s gooo! We’re burning daylight! Come ooon!” He practically dragged Ashton down the hall. Ashton couldn’t help but to chuckle at the younger boy’s enthusiasm. The other couple was a little shocked that Ashton was allowing Luke to act like that. 

Inside the elevator Luke asked what they were going to do. 

“I have no fucking clue.” Ashton draped an arm over his neck loosely. “Let’s walk around to some shops, I guess. We can get some lunch and then, I don’t know.”

That sounded like pure paradise to Luke. 

When they made it to nice strip of stores and places to eat Luke jerked Ashton’s hand. “Let’s go in here!” Calum and Michael gave one another a look before walking into the store after their friends. 

“Luke has fallen hardcore.” Calum mumbled as Michael held the door open for him. 

Letting out a soft sigh Michael replied, “I know. Poor guy. Ashton is going to kick him to the curb as soon as his movie is done.”

“I don’t want Luke to be hurt.” 

Michael wrapped an arm around the Kiwi’s shoulders and rubbed his arm, “We’ll be there to pick up the pieces.”

“There shouldn’t be any broken pieces to begin with.” 

 

Ashton couldn’t help but to laugh. Luke was looking at every single knick-knack in the store as if it were made of gold. Glancing back to Michael and Calum he saw they were looking at him and whispering to one another. Ashton frowned, turning his attention back to the blond boy. But he wasn’t there. Turning in a circle he tried to spot the boy. Luke was nowhere. Suddenly something dropped onto his head. It was a ridiculous, army green sun hat with a baby blue flower on it.

He heard Luke giggle. “Looks good on you.” 

Looking in the mirror Ashton fake-gagged, “Oh God, who in their right mind would wear this?”

Luke shrugged, “Beats me.” He returned to looking at the other ridiculous items in the store. Something wrapped around his neck. Looking down he saw it was a scarf. But it was burnt orange with army green dots. 

Looking to Ashton he said, “I don’t know what’s worse; this scarf or your hat.”

“Put these on too.” Ashton handed him a pair of sunglasses. But they weren’t any sunglasses like Luke has seen before. They were half lime green, half hot pink with swirls sticking out of the top of them. 

Luke pulled his phone out and they took a mirror selfie. In the picture he Luke had slid his ugly sunglasses up to his forehead and he was making a kissy face as Ashton had a goofy look on his face with his mouth wide open in a smile.

Luke immediately posted it on Instagram with that caption, _Lashton’s day out_. He tagged Ashton and the other boys in it. In the mirror Ashton watched as Calum pulled his phone out, most likely looking at the picture Luke just posted. 

He observed the Kiwi as he showed Michael, and Michael frowned slightly. They then looked up, making Ashton quickly turn his attention to the blue-eyed boy, who was taking the scarf off and setting the sunglasses down. Ashton ripped the hat off his head. He knew he’s treated Luke like shit in the past, but they were on good terms now. Why can’t Michael and Calum see that?

“Hey, I think I saw a sunglasses store down the street. Wanna check it out? We can take more pictures.” 

Luke beamed at him, “Yes!” 

Ashton laced their fingers together and led him out of the store; the other couple trailing close behind. 

In the sunglasses store Luke and Ashton tried on numerous pairs of glasses. Luke ended up posting about four more photos, each one sillier than the rest. Except for the last one though, Ashton kissed his cheek, and Luke faked a shocked look. It might have not been all that fake. Nonetheless it was a cute picture. 

“We need to have a lot of proof for the fans, you know?” Ashton had said. “Let’s get out of here. I’m bored.” Ashton wasn’t really bored. He was sick and tired of Michael and Calum looking at him and talking about him. Michael is his best friend and not supposed to talk about him behind his back. 

Luke nodded, following the actor to the door. 

“Let’s check out this store and then we can get something to eat.” 

“Sounds good. I’m hungry.”

"You're always hungry." Chuckled Ashton. 

The next store ended up being a jewelry story. They looked around nonetheless. Michael and Luke broke away from the other two to look at the gaudy watches on the other side of the store. 

Watching the other two Ashton said, “I’m surprised Michael isn’t trying to pick out an engagement ring for you.”

Calum looked up at, not saying a word. 

Looking down at the glass case in front of them the actor carried on, “If I buy Luke one of those ugly watches, do you think it would make us look more couple-like?” He chuckled, “I’m pretty sure Luke would just die if I...”

“What is your game?” Calum whispered rather loudly. 

“What are you talking about?”

“Why are you acting the way you are with Luke?”

“We’re friends?”

“Don’t sound so sure.”

Ashton rolled his eyes, “Luke and I are friends. I actually enjoy his company. Although, I’m not enjoying yours and haven’t since I met you.”

“Feeling’s mutual.” 

“Can you just get off my back, Calum? You’re a real pain in the ass. Stay out of our business.”

“Luke’s business _is_ my business, has been my business for since we were 5 years old.”

“You have to let him grow up sometime.”

“This isn’t about growing up! You’re leading Luke on with how you are acting.”

“What do you mean leading him on?”

“If Miles Teller started acting all boyfriendy and all towards Luke, Luke would be over the moon. Luke has never been in a relationship before. When your movie is over and we have to go back home, Luke will be the one getting hurt. You’ll toss him aside like trash.” 

“No I won’t!”

Calum rolled his eyes, “Yeah, sure.” 

Ashton scoffed as he walked over to the back counter. An old man with little to no hair sat on a bar stool reading East of Eden by John Steinbeck.

“Good day,” He said happily, setting his book down, “Can I help you?”

“Um,” Ashton bit his lip; “I want to…buy something for my boyfriend.” 

“Did you have something in mind?”

“Uh,” Ashton looked to the rings. Oh no, definitely no rings. That seemed like an engagement. Rumors would be on every tabloid. Bracelet? Nah. Necklace? Yeah, necklace seemed perfect. 

“A necklace, I guess.” 

“What kind of necklace?” 

“Um,” He glanced at all the different choices until his eye caught one he really liked. 

 

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Luke asked his head turned to look at his friends. 

“Is everything okay, Luke?”

He looked to Michael, “Yeah, why?”

Michael shrugged, “It’s just that Ashton and you seem to be acting…close.” 

“Yeah,” Luke grinned, “We are closer. It’s great.”

“You’re literally holding your heart out in a hurricane, Luke. You don’t know Ashton the way I do. He’s going to hurt you, more than he already has.” 

Luke looked down in the glass case. “I don’t think he will.”

“You think that because you’re in love with him.” Michael whispered, “He will never return your feelings. He’s straight. When his movie is finished we have to go back home and he’s going to push you aside.” 

Luke didn’t want to answer his friend. His good mood had just been crushed. Michael couldn’t possibly know what was going to happen in the future. Ashton could very much want to still be friends after this…Couldn’t he?

“Hey,” Ashton said walking up.

Luke had his arms wrapped around his thin torso. Ashton looked to Michael to Luke. He put two and two together. Michael said something to the blond boy. A wave of anger flared through him. Luke was sad now. Luke should never be sad. He had a wonderful smile and needed to share it with the world. 

Ashton faltered a bit. Where did that come from? It’s a fact. Luke did have a wonderful smile. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging when someone has a good smile. 

“Let’s go get something to eat.” 

“I’m not really hungry.”

“You just said you were. C’mon.” He laced Luke’s fingers with his own. 

“I’m going to use the restroom before we leave.” He untangled his hand from the actor’s. 

When Luke was out of hearing range Ashton frowned at his best friend. “What the fuck, Michael?”

“What?” Michael shot back. 

“What did you say to Luke? He’s quiet and sad now!”

“I told him the truth.” Michael said and walked off to find Calum. 

The truth? What truth? Michael would never be mean to Luke; Ashton knew that. So, what did he mean? What’s this _truth_ he was talking about. 

The shop owner walked around to him, “Your order is ready, sir. Cash, credit, or debit card?”

“Debit.” Ashton stated, reaching into his back pocket to get his wallet. He kept glancing back to where the restrooms are. He didn’t want Luke to see him buying this until he was ready to give it to him. 

“Would you like it wrapped?” 

“No, no, it’s fine. I’ll put it in my pocket.”

The man looked a little hurt that his creation would just be shoved into a pocket next to a clot of lint. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just that my boyfriend is _here_ with me and I don’t want him to know.”

The man gave him a nod and a smile, “I see. Here you go.” He poured the necklace into Ashton’s hand and said boy slid it into his pocket just in time. Luke stood next to him a few seconds later. 

“Ready to go?” 

“Yeah,” Luke said quietly. 

Ashton sighed softly. He wanted to personally kill both Michael and Calum. Luke was so happy to be out of their hotel room and those two idiots just had to go and ruin it. He thought about giving the necklace to Luke now, hoping it would cheer him up. But then Michael and Calum would have something to say about. And he was just tired of their crap. He wished there was some way he and Luke could ditch them. But it would just cause more problems. 

They found a pizza place and ordered half pepperoni and half pineapple and bacon. It was eerily quiet in the group. 

“We should see a movie.” Ashton suggested as they waited for their food. His attention was completely on Luke, acting as if the other two weren’t there. 

Luke gave a one-shoulder shrug. “If you want.”

Ashton fought the urge to sigh. “Or you know, we could, like, rob a bank or something?”

Luke looked to him with a small grin. “Is that a promise?”

Before Ashton could further the conversation a girl around the age of 13 or 14 walked up to their table. “Do you think I could get a couple of pictures of you?”

“Sure thing.” Ashton smiled to her. 

She squeezed into thee booth besides Ashton and her mother took a picture of the whole group. Then she got one of without her in it. 

Biting her lip nervously her cheeks flushed at what she asked next. “Could I get one of you and Luke?” 

“Yeah. Go ahead. How do want us?” The actor asked. 

“Just act like you always do.” He held up her phone. 

Ashton draped an around the blond’s shoulders, and Luke scooted closer so that their sides were pressed together. The girl took the picture. 

“One more? I’m sorry. I’m just excited. I know this is asking a lot.”

“You’re fine.” Luke said, sending the girl a smile. 

For this last picture Luke and Ashton sat in the same position but this time Ashton stuck his lips out and kissed Luke’s cheek. 

_It’s for publicity._ He told himself. 

“Thank you so much.” Ashton got up and hugged her. 

“It’s not problem.” 

She made the move to get closer to Luke, so he stood and hugged her. Once their hug ended she said, “You two are so cute together. You make a wonderful couple.”

Grinning Ashton looked back to the blond, “We do, don’t we?” He winked, making Luke grin. 

Calum rolled his eyes and Michael scoffed. How could Ashton lead Luke on like this? It was just sick. 

“Okay, Sweetie, let them enjoy their day.” The girl’s mother ushered her away with a quick, “Thank you so much.” 

Sitting back down Ashton stated, “That picture will be trending on Twitter within the next five minutes.”

Their food came and they ate in comfortable silence…For once. As they walked down the street half an hour later Ashton pulled Luke close to his side and whispered in his ear, “Let’s head back to the hotel. Malum is being a pain in the ass.”

Luke giggled, “I know, but they mean well.” 

“Too nice, you are Lukey.”

“Okay, Yoda.” Luke sassed. 

“We can hang out in our room and tonight maybe we can see a movie.” Suggested Ashton. 

“Sounds good.” Nodded Luke. 

 

When they stepped into their room Ashton felt as though the necklace was burning a hole in his pocket. He had no Earthly idea what possessed him to get it. He felt like throwing it away or returning it. But Luke would like it. If Ashton had gotten him a necklace with freaking Pelican on it Luke would have died of happiness. Luke’s just awesome that way. He can be happy about anything. Luke was taking his wallet and phone out of his pocket and setting it on the table by his side of the bed while he toed his shoes off. 

“Hey, uh, Luke?”

“Yes, Ashton?” Luke asked, his back to the actor. 

Clearing his throat Ashton willed his heart to stop beating so rapidly. “Um, so, today when we were in the jewelry store, I kind of, got you something.” 

Luke spun around, “You what?” 

Shock was written all over his face. 

“Yeah, I just thought it would look good for the pictures and stuff.” Ashton played it off well. 

He walked over to the blond, standing right in front of him. He dug around in his pocket and then put it over Luke’s head gently. Once it was placed around Luke’s neck he looked down at the silver chain and matching charm. It was a simple A. 

Ashton looked to the ceiling, regretting this decision tremendously. But then a body collided with his, just about knocking him over. Ashton stumbled back a little. Luke’s arms were around his neck in a vice-like grip, his face buried in the crook of his neck. 

“Thank you! I love it!” 

Ashton allowed himself to smile, feeling quite proud of himself. He returned the hug.

“I’ll wear it all the time. You know, so it’ll be in as many pictures as possible.” Luke couldn’t stop smiling. He didn’t care that Ashton just got this necklace for him because it’ll look good for the magazines. Ashton gave him something and he’ll cherish always.

 

They didn’t end up going to the movies. Luke was actually very tired from today’s events. Not doing anything but laying around for a week takes a toll on you believe it or not. So, here they are, laying in bed. Ashton lay on his back, scrolling through comments on the Instagram pictures he and Luke took earlier that day. 

Luke lay on his side, watching Ashton. He had wanted to look at his necklace, but he didn’t want Ashton to be onto his feelings for him. 

“Hey, Ash?” Luke asked tiredly.

“Yeah, Lukey?”

“Can we see a movie tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll talk to Roy. We’ll go when I’m done with the set.”

“Okay.” Luke was excited he would get to show off his necklace. 

“What do you want to see?”

“I don’t know what’s playing?”

Ashton brought up the show times on his phone. “At the cinema downtown, they’re showing an old movie called The Shop Around the Corner. It has the guy from Rear Window in it. Wanna see that?”

“Sure.”

Luke could hardly hide his excitement. He didn’t do a good job hiding it when Ashton put the necklace on him, but who wouldn’t? If Luke didn’t know any better, he’d say Ashton kind of liked him back. But let’s face it Ashton is straight. He would never return Luke’s feelings. And Luke’s okay with that. Well, he’s not _okay_ with it, but he is happy with being Ashton’s friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~I don't mean for Malum to be so rude. They're just worried!~


	20. Let's Forget Who We Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Okay, I have something really IMPORTANT to ask. If I change my username will I still have my stories and favorites? I am currently working on chapter 21. I think this story will end around 25. But who really knows with me. I might be struck with inspiration.~

The next day everyone tagged along to go to the studio. Lou about shoved Ashton out of the way to get to Luke. She hugged him as if her life depended on it. Luke returned the hug the best he could with his guitar in one hand. 

“Oh baby, I was worried!”

“I’m fine, Lou.” Assured Luke. 

George made his way to them, “Good to see you up and about, Luke.” He patted him the back. 

“Thanks George.”

“Okay,” Lou pushed Ashton towards makeup, “We need to get started. Follow us, Luke. I wanna talk! It’s been too long!”

Michael and Calum plopped down on the couch closer to the set, and a good distance from the makeup station watching Luke talk excitedly to Lou. They knew they were being hard on him, but they cared for him so much and didn’t want him to end up broken beyond repair. 

 

“Tom is bringing Lux over later. So, you’ll get to play for her then.”

Luke beamed, “That’s awesome! I haven’t seen her in a long time.” 

“When are you four going to make a band?” She joked.

“We have a name,” Luke joked, “Ashton came up with it.”

She was taken aback, “What?”

Ashton rolled his eyes light-heartedly, “5 Seconds of Summer.”

“Are you serious? You’re really starting a band?”

“Nah, Lou. We’re just messing around.” 

“Well, you four should start one. That would be exciting and fun.” 

“I’m an actor, Lou. Not a musician.”

“You could be one, if you wanted to.” Luke mumbled. “I mean, you’re really good.” He looked to the woman, “He sang to me the other night.”

“Aw,” Lou cooed. “How sweet.” 

Ashton flipped Luke off lightheartedly for telling something he wouldn’t ever dare tell a soul. Luke just grinned in return. After Ashton left for the set Luke was forced to return to Calum and Michael, no matter how much he wanted to just runaway. He sat down on a piece of a prop, a wooden barrel, next to the couch. 

“We aren’t going to talk about Ashton to you, Luke.” Michael told him. 

“Whatever happens, happens. And we’re going to be there for you no matter what.” The Kiwi said. 

“Thanks guys.” He replied quietly. He wished they saw how much Ashton has changed.

Luke strummed on his guitar for a while as Calum and Michael took turns singing. Overall it was nice to spend time with the couple without them bugging him about the actor. Around lunchtime Ashton came over with his square, wooden drum and sat next to Luke. The played songs like I Don’t Care by Fall Out Boy and A Love Like War by All Time Low. Ashton took a break from drumming to eat a sandwich and drink a bottle of apple juice. Luke continued to strum soft on his guitar. Ashton was in mid-sip when he recognized the song. It was Therapy by All Time Low. 

He watched Luke’s fingers move up and down the guitar slowly, playing every note as though it would be his last. Luke put his soul into playing. Ashton liked that about him. He was so passionate about it. Ashton wished he were passionate about something. Sure, he liked acting, loved it even when he was a kid. But he sure as heck didn’t love it now. It was just a hobby now. 

The drums. He loved playing the drums and he wished he had his set that was back home. He could tear them up rather than play this rink-a-dink thing he was sitting on. He knew Luke would be impressed. He continued to watch the blond play Therapy. 

When he finished he asked, “Do you know any Bon Jovi songs?”

“Um,” Luke thought, “I know of them, but can’t play them.” 

Ashton rolled his eyes with a grin, “Useless. Let me see it.” 

Luke hesitantly handed his pride and joy over to the actor. Ashton began to strum what seemed like the chords to Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi. 

“You’re such shit at guitar, Ashton.” Laughed Michael. 

“Aw, screw you, Michael!” Ashton shot back. 

“I can teach you some things, if you want.” Luke bit his lip ring and played with his fingers nervously. 

“Thanks Lukey. That’d be great.” 

He held the guitar out, “Now play something else.” 

Luke began the chord to Astronaut by Simple Plan. Ashton watched his every move until he was called back to the set. 

A few hours later George walked up to Ashton when he was sipping from a water bottle. “You can go ahead and go. You’re not in this next scene. Go take your boyfriend out.”

“Really?” Ashton asked surprised. George always made him stay even if he wasn’t in the scene. 

“Yeah, why not? Luke seems like he’s running out of songs to play.” 

Ashton looked back and sure enough Luke stopped what he was playing and by the look of his face, seemed to be thinking real hard. He repeated this a couple of times. Ashton chuckled softly before turning back to the director, “Thanks George. I better go save him from Michael and Calum.”

“See you tomorrow. Have fun. Treat Luke right!” 

Ashton liked that everyone loved Luke so much. Luke had that effect on people. 

Walking up to Luke he rested a hand on his lower back, “Ready to get out of here?”

“You’re done?”

“George is letting me go early. I’m not in this next scene. We better hurry if we want it make it.” 

“Where are you going?” Calum asked. 

“Out. And you two are not invited.” Ashton added quickly.

Calum sent him a glare. 

“Cal,” Luke asked, and Calum’s glare immediately turned into a smile.

“Yes, Luke?”

“Will you take my guitar back for me?” He stood in front of his best friend, holding the instrument out for him to take. 

“Of course I will.” He took it and laid it across his lap. 

Ashton draped an arm over Luke’s shoulders and led him away from the couple. They took a cab, not wanting to be bothered by paparazzi. When they stood in line waiting to get tickets Luke practically bounced up and down. He was too excited. He got to see a great movie with a great actor in it, and he was wearing the necklace Ashton got for him. 

At the studio he kept it hidden beneath his shirt so that Calum and Michael wouldn’t say anything. But now, he had it out for the whole world to see. Ashton got their tickets and they went inside. Ashton hands Luke his wallet. 

“Get me a coke. We can share a large popcorn. Get whatever you want. I’m going to the restroom.” 

Luke nodded before making his way to the line. He was looking up at the large movie posters advertising old movies like Gone With the Wind, The Wizard of Oz, North By Northwest, and Rebel Without a Cause. There were posters of John Wayne, Katherine Hepburn, James Dean, John Wayne, and Laurel and Hardy. He was so busy looking at them he hadn’t realized a tall man stood behind him. Well, that is until he tapped on Luke’s shoulder. Luke looked to him. He was just a bit taller than Luke with short dyed blue hair. He had a black nose ring, gages, and dressed similar to him and Ashton. 

“Hey Beautiful. You’re up.” He pointed ahead. 

Luke quickly looked ahead and sure enough it was his turn. He stepped up and told the young girl behind the counter what he and Ashton wanted. 

“It’s going to be a few minutes because I have to make more popcorn. Five minutes tops, okay?” She smiled sweetly at him. “You can still pay and wait right here.” She pointed to just a foot outside the line. Luke did so. 

“Hey,” The guy from behind him said. He leaned on the counter beside Luke. “What’s your name?”

“L-Luke.”

“Hi Luke. I’m Greg. What movie are you seeing?”

“Uh, The Shop Around the Corner.”

“Maybe you could just skip your movie and come see The Birds with me.”

“Um, no, thank you. My boyfriend and I just recently watched The Birds.”

Greg didn’t seem fazed that Luke mentioned he had a boyfriend. He pressed further. 

“I can just skip my movie and come watch yours with you.”

“I don’t think my boyfriend would approve of that.” 

“Well, maybe I can change your mind.” He rested a hand on Luke’s thin hip, making Luke’s heart jolt rather harshly in his chest. It felt wrong for this guy to touch him. He didn’t want anyone to touch him except for Ashton. 

 

Ashton was just coming out of the restroom, wiping his damp hands on his pants. He cursed the hand dryers. They sucked and were a waste of money. He expected to see Luke sitting off to the side somewhere with their food, but didn’t. Frowning he looked to the food stand. Luke stood out of line, with some ugly ass punk touching his hip. Surely, Luke was not willing. By the looks of Luke’s face and the way he was biting his lip ring he wasn’t. How dare this guy touch Luke? He know Luke told him no. And no means no!

Marching over to him he stood in between Luke and this guy, making the guy retract his hand from Luke’s hip rather quickly. “Hey, hi there.” He smiled, but his tone of voice was smartass-like. “What’s your name?” 

The guy looked puzzled for a moment before saying, “Greg.” 

“Well, _Greg_ , do you see this?” He reached behind him, roughly pulling Luke to stand beside him. He then picked up the necklace off of Luke’s chest, “This right here? This is an _A_ , not a _G_. So, you can go on your merry way before I make it my mission to end your sorry life.” His smartass tone, never wavered. Looking down Luke saw how tightly Ashton's fists were clenched. He covered one of his hands over Ashton's fists to try to and bring him back down to earth. Ashton's fist relaxed and laced their fingers together, a bit too tightly. 

Greg stared Ashton down for a good minute before scoffing and walking away. Ashton closed his eyes, thanking God he kept his cool and didn’t completely bash that jerk’s face in. He probably would have if Luke hadn't been there. He inhaled and exhaled deeply. 

As soon as he opened his eyes Luke giggled, “That was awesome.”

Ashton opened his mouth to say something, but instead he let out an airy chuckle. “Yeah, it was. Are you okay?” 

Luke nodded, still grinning like an idiot at the actor. “I’m fine. Thanks. He was a real creep.” 

“Looked like it. You ready to go?”

“I’m waiting on the popcorn.” 

Ashton gave him a nod. Their wait only lasted a minute or two more before the girl working behind the counter held a big tub of popcorn out for Ashton to take. When he took it he said a quick thanks. She smiled and said, “I’m a huge fan, of both you.” 

As they walked away Luke said, “How is that I have a lot of fans when all I am is your boyfriend?”

Ashton snorted a laugh. “It’s them baby blues you got.”

Luke blushed as they made it to ticket guy. Ashton balanced the tub of popcorn and his drink as he tried to reach for their tickets. “Get the tickets for me, huh Lukey?” Luke’s heartbeat quickened when he remembered Ashton had put the tickets in his back pocket. Instead of getting the tickets Luke merely took Ashton’s drink from and Ashton proceeded to get their tickets. 

Before the movie started Ashton got his phone out and took a selfie of them. Luke added the caption _#DateNight #CuteDate_. Ashton didn’t seem to mind. Luke enjoyed the movie and even though Ashton would never admit it, he liked it too. It was a sweet, romantic movie with bits of sarcastic humor. They walked out hand in hand. 

“Let’s pick up a pizza and go back to the room.” Ashton suggested as they passed by some closed shops. 

“If I eat pizza again any time soon, I will hurl.” 

Ashton chuckled ‘cause yeah, they had been eating pizza a lot. 

“Chinese?”

“I knew we were friends for a reason.” Luke childishly swung their hands back and forth. 

Ashton found this refreshing. Luke was so full of life and always happy and just so, so innocent. 

Days later you find Luke and Ashton at the set during Ashton’s break. Ashton had just finished his sandwich and was happily sipping his bottle of apple juice while he scrolled through Twitter. Luke was strumming on his guitar; a song Ashton didn’t recognize. 

He stopped scrolling when he saw a picture of him and Luke at the theater the other night. Ashton was standing in front of Luke, talking with the asshole that made a move on the blond boy. By Ashton’s face you could tell he wasn’t happy. The picture was posted from People magazine’s Twitter account. The tweet said, _Ashton Irwin reverting back to his old ways?_

The comments underneath read; _Knew he didn’t change._

_Once an asshole, always an asshole._

_Poor Luke. He deserves better._

“Shit!” He stood for no apparent reason. 

Looking up Luke ceased his guitar playing. “What’s wrong?” He set his guitar down on the empty space next to him. 

Ashton angrily tossed his phone at the other boy. Luke barely managed to catch it. Reading over the tweet Luke said, “You’re not though. You’re doing a lot better.”

“They don’t think that!”

“You can’t let this get you down, Ash. It’s just a magazine. They’re full of crap anyway. You and I both know you’ve changed.”

“Well, tell it to the public!” 

Luke nodded, “Okay.” He pulled his phone and got onto to his Twitter account. Ashton watched him, “What are you doing?”

“Telling the public.” Luke said as he typed away. Ashton heavily plopped down next to him, pressing his body into Luke’s so he could read what he was typing. 

_Ashton has come a long ways. We are both very happy. Stop with the rumors, please_. He posted it and within minutes people were retweeting it and commenting on it. Luke let Ashton read over the comments. 

_He has!_

_Lashton forever!_

_I’m so proud of him!_

_My babies!_

Ashton handed the phone back to its owner. He looked at Luke so intently. “Thank you. That meant a lot to me you did that.”

Luke grinned, “No problem.”

Ashton continued to stare at the blond boy. He leaned over and pecked his lips quickly. “I need to get back to the set.” 

“Uh, okay. Yeah.” Luke replied a little dazed. 

Ashton beat himself up for the rest of the day for doing what he did. 

 

The following day Ashton had an interview on some crappy talk show. Roy, Luke, Michael and Calum stood backstage as Ashton walked out onto the stage, the audience screaming. He lifted a hand to wave and gave them a smile. He then shook hands with the interviewer, who was a too thin, white blond haired woman. She wore a red dress suit with tacky gold earrings. 

When they were seated she asked him, “How are you doing? It’s been a long time since you’ve been here last.”

Ashton to refrain himself from rolling his eyes ‘cause he’d never been there before. 

“I’m good. How about you?”

“I’m wonderful! How’s the new movie coming along?”

“Great! Almost finished. We actually just came from the studio.”

“We?”

“My manager, my boyfriend, and a couple friends.”

“Oh how nice. How are you and uh, Lewis, doing?”

“Luke, his name is Luke. And we’re great!”

This woman needs to get her facts straight. She looked down at her desk and picked up a magazine. The front page was the picture that had been all over every social media site; the one of them at the theater. 

“I understand that there are some rumors going around, like this one right here. Can you explain what is going on in this picture?”

What the hell kind of interview is this? She was talking to him like a pre-schooler!

“Uh, yeah, I had gone to the restroom while Luke got us some food and this bastard here,” He pointed to the so-called Greg guy, “Was making a move on my boyfriend. Of course Luke tried to get away from him, but the guy just wasn’t having it. So, I kind of just scared him a bit.” 

“Yes, of course. I understand! Poor Luke look like all about ready to die. Poor thing!” Her voice was full of fake sympathy. 

“How do you feel about the rumors about this picture?”

Seriously?

“Uh, not going to lie. But it hurt my feelings quite a bit. Um,” He licked his lips, “Luke has been very supportive of me. He even got on Twitter and defended me.”

“Yes,” She pulled up a thin piece of cardboard, Luke’s tweet printed on it. “We have that here.” She held it up so the audience could read the tweet even though Ashton was sure every single member of the audience already retreated, favorited, and screen shot it. He wouldn't be surprised if it someone's lock screen. “This was very nice of him to do. He seems like a sweetheart.”

“The sweetest.” Grinned Ashton. 

She went on to ask stupid questions that Ashton gave bull-crap answers to. By the end of the interview he was mentally exhausted. When the show ended Ashton walked back behind stage where Roy patted him on the back telling him what a good job he did. Ashton leaned heavily against Luke, all about draping himself over the thinner boy. Luke stumbled a bit, giggling. “I’m tired.” Ashton mumbled against Luke’s neck. 

Luke chuckled, “Well, let’s go then. It’s midnight.” 

On the way out Ashton kept complaining his curls were annoying and he threatened to shave his head. To which Luke said, “Don’t you dare!” He pulled Ashton’s black bandanna from his pocket and tied it around his forehead. 

“There, see? Problem solved.” 

Ashton smiled, "Thanks Lukey." 

Calum and Michael watched the scene from the backseat. Luke was in way too deep to recover now. Ashton kept leading him on and they both wished the movie were over with so that Ashton can break Luke’s heart already. It’s not that they want Luke’s heartbroken, it’s just the anticipation was all too much for them. But they were so blindsided by Luke getting hurt, that they missed a very important detail; Luke and Ashton were genuinely happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Hope this was okay. I have no idea why, but I really enjoyed writing this chapter.~


	21. You hit me faster than I hurt inside my head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Okay, so after this chapter there should only be three more chapters.~

The interview, for some reason, got to Ashton. It was all he thought about for two full days afterwards. It wasn’t just the interview it was that guy that hit on Luke, the rumors about him going around again, Luke sticking up for him and just Luke in general. 

He’s been noticing things about him lately. Things guys shouldn’t notice about their guy friends. He can’t stop staring as Luke’s fingers move along his guitar. The way Luke looks in the morning; his blond hair a mess, his cheeks slightly pink and they way he tiredly rubs the sleep from his eyes. When Ashton forgets a bandana Luke usually has one in his pocket for him. The way Luke smiles and laughs like he never will again. The way he’s always hungry. How he can always calm Ashton down when someone gets to him. When Luke is sad Ashton wants to go after whoever caused him pain and beat the living daylights out of them. His love for old movies, no matter what they are. He likes it that Luke and him talk late at night until one of them drifts off. 

The list is endless. What straight guy notices and likes these things about another guy? 

Ashton tried not to let his thoughts show. The only thing he did differently is not shoot out comebacks and insults toward Michael and Calum. He would mumble, “Yeah,” or “Whatever.” 

Michael seemed to noticed something off about his best friend. One night he knocked on their bedroom door. Luke opened and instantly smiled, “Hi Mike.”

“Hey Luke.” Michael smiled back. It’s hard not to smile at Luke. “Can I come in?”

“Of course.” Luke stepped aside. 

When Michael stepped into the room he looked to the blond, “I was wondering if I could maybe talk to Ashton alone for a few moments. I left our door cracked open so you could go see Cal.” 

“Oh, yeah, sure. Is everything okay?” 

“Everything’s fine. Just been a while since I spent some time with my best friend is all.” 

Ashton was laying on his back in their bed, on his phone, not doing anything in particular. He did look up when he heard Michael’s voice. He listened to his friends’ short conversation. He didn’t want Luke to leave him here with Michael. Him and Michael weren’t the same anymore. He tried to explain to him and Calum both that he has changed, but they just weren’t having it. And he didn’t want Luke to go see Calum. It seems that Calum and Michael make Luke sad nowadays. Luke should never be sad. 

Luke slipped out and Michael walked over to the bed. He laid down on Luke’s side. Ashton didn’t like that. He didn’t want Luke’s side to smell like Michael. 

“Okay,” Michael began, “What’s up?” 

“What do you mean?”

“Something’s off. I can tell. Talk to me.”

“Oh, so, now you want to be friends again?” Ashton sassed as he rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t give me that, Ashton. We’ve always been best friends. It’s just been hard these passed few months. You have to admit you’ve treated Luke like shit and…”

“Yeah, I know! But we’re okay now!” 

Michael nodded, deciding it was best to change the subject. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” Michael would probably understand. But Ashton didn’t even understand. So, what’s the point of telling him?

“Try me.” Michael urged. 

“It’s too embarrassing.” 

“Again, try me.” 

“Ugh! Michael, it’s not that simple!” 

“Just fucking spit it out, Irwin!”

Ashton had to think quick. He couldn’t let Michael know what was going on in his head. 

“It’s just, I’m fucking trying so hard to be different, you know? And then the rumors started back up at the movies last week. They acted like I beat the shit out of that guy. Did I threaten him, yes I did. But no one’s ever touched Luke like he was. Luke was uncomfortable with the way he was treating him and I had to do something! The old me would have just beat the shit out of him. But I didn’t! Because I defended Luke the magazines think I’m going back to my old ways! It’s not fair!” Ashton had tears in his eyes, and even Ashton didn’t know if they were real or fake. 

Michael hung onto every word. He had no idea his friend felt this way. Maybe he had been a bad friend by not being there for him.

“Ashton, I know things have been tense between us, but Calum and I are terrified that when your movie is done that you’re going to forget all about Luke when we go back home. Luke really thinks you two are friends and-”

“We are friends.” Ashton said quickly. 

“We just don’t want Luke to get hurt.” 

“I really like Luke. We are close now. I don’t want to kick him aside after my movie is done.”

Ashton looked so much younger than he really was at that moment. Young actors have so much thrown onto him and they grow up and lose a part of themselves that’s hard to get back. Michael held his arms open for him. “C’mere.” 

Ashton hesitated before scooting over, resting his head on the red head’s shoulder, their bodies pressed to one another as Michael held onto him tightly. 

“You have changed, Ashton. I’m proud of you.”

Ashton sniffed. “Luke said the same thing.” 

“Now, let’s just hope Luke and Calum don’t walk in. I think we would have some explaining to do.”

Ashton let out a watery chuckle. He had missed his best friend. It felt good to talk about his troubles again. But he really wanted to talk about how Luke was slowly taking over his mind.

 

Across the hall when Luke entered his friends’ room Calum looked up from his magazine. “Hey.” He said quietly. 

“Hi.” Luke plopped down on the bed next to him. “Whatcha reading about?”

“Taylor Swift’s newest boyfriend.”

Luke chuckled, “ _Another_ boyfriend?”

Calum chuckled, “Yeah. I’m just bored. I’d do anything at this point. How are things going?”

“Good, good. How are things with you and Michael?”

“Let’s cut this crap, Luke. We’re acting like we just met! You and I have never done crappy small-talk.”

Looking down at the his black jeans Luke mumbled, “I know. I don’t want things to be like this, Calum. I love you too much. I want things to go back to the way they were.”

“I love you too.” He shuffled over and wrapped his arms around the blond boy. Luke returned the hug just as tight. 

“I know Michael and me have been hard on you lately. We’re just so worried.” He mumbled into Luke’s shoulder. “We don’t want you hurt. Michael just knows how Ashton is.”

“I know you’re worried, but I honestly think everything is going to be okay.”

Calum released his friend, “Luke, you think you’re in love with him.”

“I don’t think. I _know_ I am.”

“That’s worse.” Calum sighed, looking up asking the good Lord above what he should do. “Ashton is…”

“Straight. I know that, but,” A lump formed in his throat and he blinked back tears, “But I would rather be in life as a friend than not at all.” The fear of Ashton kicking him to the side after all this is over has been in the back of his mind for a couple weeks now. He just chose to ignore it and hope that wouldn’t happen. 

Calum held Luke as Luke cried. He leaned down and kissed Luke’s hair. “I’ll be there for you no matter what happens. I promise. I’m right here.” He kissed his friend’s hair once more, wishing he could take away his pain. 

“Imagine if Michael hadn’t returned his feelings for you. And you have to just be his friend while Ashton and me were madly in love.” 

Calum’s hold tightened. He never thought about that. He never thought that it was hard for Luke seeing him and Michael so happy. Closing his eyes he thought of what a horrible friend he has been. 

 

It was about half an hour later when Luke finally was calm enough to return to his and Ashton’s room. He knocked and waited for someone to answer. It was Ashton who opened the door. 

Each boy took in the other’s red-rimmed eyes and disheveled appearance. 

“Are you okay?” They asked in unison before chuckling nervously. 

Michael appeared behind the actor. “I was just about to leave. Bye Ashton. See ya Luke.” 

When he left the room Luke stepped inside. Ashton closed the door. 

“So, uh, is everything okay between you and Michael?”

Ashton nodded, “Yeah, just fine. What about you and Calum?”

“We’re good.”

It was eerily quiet after that. Just as Ashton began to ask if the other boy was hungry Luke attacked him, wrapped his arms around Ashton’s waist. Ashton hesitantly returned the hug, his rapid heartbeat worrying him. Luke’s been having that affect on his heart lately and he, for the love of all that’s Holy, couldn’t figure out why. Even though this worried him, he couldn’t help but to notice it felt good. 

After their showers they fell into bed. Ashton began flipping through channels, not really paying attention to what was playing. Luke looked at the actor, the TV the only light source in the room. 

“Hey, Ash?” 

“Yeah?”

“Do you think, um, do you think that we’ll still be friends after all this is over?”

Ashton glanced down at him and didn’t answer for a long time. He and Michael have stayed friends all these years. Why couldn’t he and Luke stay friends?

“Yeah, I don’t see why not.” 

It made Luke smile. “Okay. ‘Cause I like you and I think I want to keep you around.”

Ashton grinned, “You _think_? And what is this _keep me around_ business. I’m not a dog!”

“Ashton, don’t raise your voice to me. If you’re good I’ll get you a treat tomorrow.” 

Ashton whacked him in the face with a pillow, earning a giggle from the blond. “Ashton!” 

“Don’t raise your voice to me, Lukey. If you’re good I’ll take you on a walk tomorrow.” Ashton said in the same teasing tone Luke had. 

“Jerk.” Joked Luke. 

“Aw, go to sleep.”

Luke turned over, facing away from Ashton. His mind was at ease now and he could sleep. Ashton hadn’t meant for the boy to actually go to sleep. He wanted to keep playing with the other boy. 

Ashton watched as Luke’s breathing steadied, signaling he was asleep. Ashton kept the TV on, but muted it so he had some light for what he was about to do. He rolled onto his side, propped himself up with his elbow. Gazing down at the boy beside him he couldn’t help but to think how peaceful he looked. 

Luke rolled onto his back, still deep in sleep, which worked out better for Ashton. He could really see his face now. He swept a bit of blond hair away from Luke’s forehead before using the back of his hand to caress the blond’s soft cheek. His knuckles gently stroke the warm, soft skin. He never wanted to take his hand away. 

Luke let out a gentle hum. “Ashton.”

“Yes?” Ashton whispered, hoping to get a rise from the boy. He was met by silence. He wished Luke hadn’t drifted off. He would have liked to talk to him more. Tonight’s conversation was just too short. 

“Lukey?” He whispered, his lips brushing against said boy’s ear. 

Luke hummed in response. “I don’t know what’s happening to us, but what I do know is that I want to keep you.” Ashton made a vow that he would not abandon the blue-eyed beauty. He would remain friends with him until Luke says otherwise. Luke makes Ashton happy, truly happy, something that he hasn’t felt in a long time. 

And he’d be damned if he let Luke go now. 

 

The next morning Luke awoke slowly. He had a nice dream about Ashton watching him as he slept. Ashton was so gentle and sweet. He wished that it had really happened, but let’s face it Ashton would never do anything like that. 

He gingerly touched his cheek where Dream Ashton had touched him. He sighed in pure content. The dream had been nice. 

 

Later that day at the studio Luke had just finished playing Painting Flower by All Time Low for Lou and Lux when he stood to get a bottle of water. As he grabbed one a man a taller, almost sickly thin man walked up to him. He wore navy blue suit and had thick glasses. 

“Hello.” He had an Australian accent as well. 

Luke looked to him, “Hi.”

“I’m sorry,” He held his hand out, “I’m Adam Wilkinson.”

Luke took his hand, “Luke Hemmings.” 

“Nice to meet you Luke. I work with Artistry and Producer Management. I worked with Coldplay, Iron Maiden and some other bands too. I heard you play just now. You’re really talented.” 

“You think so?”

“I know so.” Adam smiled at him, “I know you can make it big.”

Luke looked down nervously, “Thank you.”

“Here’s my card. I think you should call me sometime and we can talk.” 

Luke took the small white business car from him and looked it for a moment. Adam chuckled, “I know. It’s a lot to take in. But, please, call.” 

Luke put the card in his wallet. “I’ll think about it.” 

 

Ashton’s break just started and he walked over to their usual couch to see Lou and Lux, but no Luke. 

“Where’s Luke?” He questioned. 

Lux was sitting in Lou’s lap, facing her. She was playing wit her daughter’s hands and making her laugh. 

“Oh, he went to get some water, but some guy started speaking with him.”

Ashton looked to the table where the water bottles were. Sure enough Luke was talking to some middle-aged man in a suit. A small frown found its way to Ashton’s features. He made his way over to them, instantly wrapping an arm around Luke’s thin waist. 

“What’s going on here?” 

The man held his hand out, “Hello. I’m Adam Wilkinson.”

Ashton didn’t take his hand. Adam dropped his hand, his smile faltering just a bit. 

“I was talking to Luke about calling me sometime. I work with…”

“Acting management.” Luke said. “He wanted me to audition for a role in a horror movie. You know, my baby blues you say everyone loves.” Luke covered quickly. He rested a hand on Ashton’s toned chest and leaned into his friend, “I was just telling him you’re the actor, not me.”

Ashton rubbed his hand up and down the small of Luke’s back. “Yeah, my boyfriend’s not interested.”

Adam seemed to get was going on. Luke didn’t want start anything at the moment, especially not without Calum. As much as music means to him, he didn't want to leave Ashton. If Aahton knew Adam was with the music industry he might have urged Luke to go. Maybe. 

“Very well. Just give it some thought Luke.”

“He won’t.” Ashton says as he leads Luke away, Adam’s business card seemed to burn a hole in Luke’s pocket. 

“What a creep.” Ashton said once they were away from him. 

“He was nice.” 

“Yeah, just wanted in your pants.”

“I’m pretty sure he didn’t.”

“He did. Trust me.” 

“Well,” Luke says grinning, “You said everyone loves my baby blues. And apparently blondes with blue eyes are super amazingly hot.” 

Ashton chuckles, “They are.”

Luke fake gasps, “Did you just agree that I’m hot?”

Ashton’s arm tightens around his waist, “Shut up, before I take it back.” 

Luke bumped his hip into Ashton; “You can’t take something back once it’s been said.” Speaking louder Luke said, “My boyfriend just said I’m hot! How sweet is…” Ashton clamped a hand over Luke’s mouth to silent him. He wasn’t angry, but boy, was his face red. 

Ashton felt Luke smile behind his hand. “If I take my hand away, you promise to keep it down?” Ashton was smiling and he honestly didn’t care if Luke started screaming from the top of his lungs. Luke gave him a nod and Ashton retracted his hand. It was quiet for about two seconds before Luke took off running away from the actor. He ran right up to George, “Ashton calls my eyes baby blues!” He then ran off giggling. He went to a stage hand and told her, “Ashton said I was hot today.” 

“Lucas Hemmings!” Ashton shouted as he made his way over to him. Luke took off again, giggling. He kept stopping at random people and telling them something sweet Ashton has done or said to him, Ashton always one person behind him. He circled the studio and made it back to Lou and Lux. “And what are you going to tell me about Ashton?” She asked with grin on her face. 

“He gave me this necklace.” Luke held it up. He only got to show her for a split second before a body collided into his; making them fall to the ground. Luke lay on his back on the cold floor while Ashton lay on top of him. 

“You’re going to pay for that, I hope you know.” 

“What? Don’t want people to know how nice you can be?”

“Exactly,” Smirked Ashton.

Luke lifted a hand up and brushed some sandy blond curls away from the actor’s forehead. “What’s so wrong with being nice?”

“It’s a horrible thing.” He teased.

“I’m nice.”

“You’re almost too nice.” It was Ashton’s turn to brush Luke’s blonde hair out of the way. His hand stalled before going lower and gently stroking his face with his knuckles. Luke closed his eyes; enjoying the feeling Ashton was giving him. But this all felt too familiar. He let out a small gasp when he realized he hadn’t been dreaming last night. 

“You should show your soft side more often.” He said quickly, to cover his gasp. 

Ashton rolled his eyes, “Yeah, how about no.”

“You’re showing it now and I hate to break it to you, but everyone is staring.” 

Ashton quickly looked up to see the stage hands, sound people, George and whoever else there was, staring at them with smiling faces. When Ashton looked up they burst into laughter. Ashton pushed himself up, red in the face. Luke giggled, making Ashton’s posture soften. 

“Might as well help me up like a gentleman.” Luke held his hand out and Ashton grabbed it, pulling the blond to his feet. “Why, thank you good sir!” Luke said, pressing his hands to Ashton’s chest and kissing his cheek before sitting down next to Lou and Lux on the couch. 

This whole short ordeal had made Ashton feel…giddy? Luke’s been a lot sillier with him lately and dare he say it, he was enjoying himself more and more. He just wished he could control his erratic heartbeat. 

He was called back to the set then. He threw himself into his scene, trying to push thoughts of Luke away for the time being. It seemed the task was getting harder and harder to do as of late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~I am actually excited for this story to be almost done. I just feel accomplished when I finish writing a story.~


	22. Let me make my own mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Okay, I have a small window open to post a new chapter before finals next week. This chapter was very hard for me to write. You'll see why...~

There are only a few things in life Ashton is certain of; his mother was an amazing person, he loved drumming more than acting, he believed in God and no one would ever be able to change his mind on that. 

Then there are a lot of things he was unsure of. Why his heart was pounding so much harder recently. Why he bought Luke that necklace. Why he’s been touchier with Luke. Why he’s been kissing Luke, even if they are just small pecks on the cheek and lips. Why he’s been staying up for hours just to watch him sleep and caress his face. Why he suddenly loves watching old black and white movies. And Luke. Just Luke in general.

Yes, there were a lot more things he was unsure of than things he was certain of. But that’s life. Of all the things he was unsure of they all centered around the blond, blue eyed boy. Luke is all Ashton seemed to think about and it was slowly driving him mad. Luke, his smile, laugh, his thin girly body, his soft skin and softer hair. Ashton thought about him constantly and he didn’t know what to do. 

No one has ever made him feel the way Luke makes him feel. He once felt these feelings in his chest whenever he was around this certain girl at school. Of course, they weren’t as strong as when he is around Luke. But they were still there. That is until Ashton fucked her. Then they went away shortly after. At that moment Ashton contemplated fucking Luke Hemmings. He shook the thoughts from his head. He couldn’t do that! First of all he was straight! And second, Luke was a virgin. He couldn’t take that away from him. 

He had gone for a walk over an hour ago. He just needed to clear his head. And it seemed this walk did the opposite for him. Damn, how could he even think about having sex with Luke? It was just disgusting! Luke had said before he wanted his first time to be with someone he was in love with. 

But that brings up another point. The thought of Luke being with anyone else angered Ashton. And left him with a hole in his heart. Why? He didn’t know. It made him feel sick to his stomach. Luke couldn’t be with anyone like _that_. No, he was far too innocent. And what if who ever he does it with doesn’t treat him right? What if they hurt him? Your first time is a delicate thing that needs to be done right and handled with care. 

Ashton's had been quite shitty and if given the chance he would do it all over again. If he were to have the chance with Luke he would do it right. Ashton physically shook his head. He needed to stop these thoughts. It just wasn’t happening! How could he think of something as sick as that? 

Walking into the hotel he couldn‘t help but to feel very disappointed in himself. He leaned heavily against the back wall of the elevator, shaming himself the whole ride up. When he walked into their room Luke was laying on his back in their bed. He looked up from his phone with a smile.

“Hey, Ash. How was your walk?” 

Ashton wanted to run his fingers through his always-perfect hair, and pull those gray sweat pants off the other boy and rip that old All Time Low shirt off. And that’s exactly what he was going to do. 

Marching over to him he said, “Stand up.” 

Luke looked at him with those big confused azure eyes and it drove him crazy. 

“Stand up! Now!” 

Luke hadn’t even been standing a second before Ashton roughly pulls him into a needy, desperate kiss. Luke’s eyes are wide, but he doesn’t push him away. He lets out a small squeak as Ashton thrusts his tongue in his mouth. 

When Ashton breaks the kiss he demands, “Take your clothes off.” 

“What?” Luke asks breathlessly. 

Ashton groans, stepping forward, and he pulls Luke’s pants down, leaving him in his band t-shirt and a pair of gray boxer-briefs. “Ashton!” Luke yelps. He then grabs the hem of the All Time Low, “Just trust me.” He says when Luke resists. When Luke nods Ashton pulls the shirt over his head and tosses it the carpet. Ashton stares at the silver A on the matching chain that lay against Luke's chest. He didn't know why the sight turned him on. He never wanted Luke to take it off. 

“What’s happening?” Luke asked. 

This isn’t going how Ashton pictured it in his head. He drags a finger over the waistband of Luke’s boxer-briefs. “I want you.” Ashton tells him after swallowing thickly. The silence between them is deafening and Ashton regrets doing this. He hadn’t even thought whether Luke would even want this or not. 

“I want you too.” Luke says and that’s all Ashton needs. He slips his fingers behind the waistband and pulls the material down. Luke blushes a color Ashton had never seen on him before. 

He steps forward, pressed their bodies together; Luke’s naked one against Ashton’s clothed one. Luke’s breathing is heavy and nervous. “It’s okay,” Ashton tells him softly, “I got you.” He kisses him, starting off sweet and ending with it hot and heavy. He pushes Luke down on the bed a bit roughly, but that’s all he knows. He’s never made love before, only fucked. He takes in Luke’s appearance. His cheeks are flushed, his blue eyes wide, and his breathing is still heavy. He’s going to absolutely ravish him. 

His body falls down on top of his, kissing like there was no tomorrow. Just when his erection couldn’t get anymore painful in his skinny jeans he stands up abruptly. He quickly unzips his pants, pulling them and his boxers down in one go. He then all about rips his shirt off before crawling back on top of the blond. Hovering over him, afraid to press their bodies together now that they are both naked. They look each other in the eyes for a moment before Ashton slowly brings his body down to Luke’s. Luke gasps at the electricity going through his body while Ashton moans. 

Ashton brings their lips together once more; Luke nervously brings his hands up to Ashton’s hair, tangling his fingers in it. Ashton breaks away, trailing kisses down the blond’s neck. He reaches the curve of his shoulder and Luke gasps, tugging on Ashton’s hair. Ashton couldn’t help but to grin. He found Luke’s _spot_. Luke can’t believe this is happening. He must be dreaming. Ashton would never do this, right? And most of all, Luke can’t believe he gave in so easily. Does that make him desperate? Or crazy?

“A-Ash?” Luke stutters. 

“What?” Ashton manages in between kisses. He’s back to Luke’s lips now, finding them very addicting. 

“W-what’s happening right now?” 

Ashton picked his head up to peer down at the boy, “Even as innocent as you are, Lukey, you really don’t know what’s happening right now?”

Luke swallows and nods. 

Ashton kisses him again, slipping his tongue back into the other boy’s mouth, tasting every inch of his mouth. His hand slid down Luke’s hip, making him shiver. Ashton, moaning into Luke’s mouth, asked, “Ready?”

A spike of fear went straight to Luke’s chest. Was he ready for this? He spent 18 years proud of being a virgin; proud he was waiting for someone he loved. But the things is, he loves Ashton. And even though Ashton didn’t return his feelings, at least his first time would be with someone he loves. 

Luke nods shakily.

“You sure?”

Luke nods again. Ashton sat up, “Spread your legs.” 

And then Luke was very self-conscious. Ashton was about to see _everything_. Ashton almost rolls his eyes out of habit, “I’ll be gentle.” And Luke believed him. He parted his legs. Ashton had never done this with another guy before, but it couldn’t be _that_ different, right? 

He said nothing as he spits on his finger and slips it into Luke’s hole. Luke gasped. It felt strange and he didn’t like it. He kind of wanted to stop, but he knew he would never get a chance to be with Ashton like this again. 

“You’re okay.” Ashton says, rubbing his thigh softly. “Ready for another one?”

 _No_ , Luke wants to say. But he knew it was just his nerves. “Y-yeah.” 

Ashton added another and this time it burned a little, one and two fingers were a big difference and Ashton’s cock was going to be a huge difference. Ashton moved his fingers around inside Luke for a good three minutes before Luke thought it began to feel nice. Yes, he didn’t regret this one bit. Ashton retracted his fingers and Luke missed them immediately. He then climbs off the bed and went into the bathroom. He came back out with a small tube of lotion that the hotel provides. “I don’t have any protection.” Ashton said, almost ashamed of himself. He should have planned this better. Surely, Ashton wouldn’t have started this if he couldn’t finish it. That would just be plain cruel. And surely, he wouldn’t be doing this with Luke if he had something.

“It’s okay.”

“You sure?”

Luke nods. Ashton knew he is clean and Luke, being the shy, blushing virgin he is, is too. Ashton slicks himself up with the lotion before tossing it aside. “You sure this is okay?”

Luke nods, his throat tight with anticipation. 

When Ashton just barely pressed in, Luke’s breath hitched. He grabbed Ashton’s face and pulled him down roughly into a kiss to distract him. Ashton would ease in ever so slightly, and then wait for the blond to adjust before going further. When he was completely sheathed inside the singer he let Luke grip onto his hair as tightly as he wanted. He pressed sweet kisses to Luke’s jaw line, hoping the pain would pass soon. He didn’t like he was causing him pain. Luke should never be in pain of any kind. 

Luke didn’t know what the big deal about sex was. It felt weird Ashton being inside him. Adding to the weird feeling it hurt! Just when he didn’t know how much more he could take a tingling sensation filled him and it slowly began to feel good. “OH God, Ash, move. Please.” Ashton pulled back, almost all the way out before sliding back in. Damn, Luke was so tight! The immense pleasure from being inside Luke’s tight heat was about to drive Ashton insane. “So tight, Lukey.” Grunted Ashton as he repeatedly thrust in and out. 

Breathing harshly Luke said, “Feels s’good.” 

Ashton smiled. Luke’s hands were still deep within in his hair when Ashton finally found that certain spot inside the blond. Luke all about screamed, gripping Ashton’s hair tighter than he ever had. 

“Ashton!” Luke yelled. And that’s all Ashton needed to fuel his thrusts. He hit the spot over and over again. He knew Luke wasn’t going to last much longer. This was his first time after all. He wasn't going to last long either with Luke being so tight around him. What should he do? Should he jerk Luke off? He doesn’t know what to do with a guy. He might as well try it out. Bringing a hand down to Luke’s cock he jerked it a few times before Luke gasped, “Ashton, m’not gonna last!”

“Me neither at this point.” Luke’s body against his, his gasps and cries of Ashton’s name were all too much for Ashton. No one had ever had this effect on him before. Luke came first, between their stomachs. Luke’s orgasm made him clench tightly around Ashton, as he thrust into the blond. Luke was tight as it is and now this…Ashton came hard inside Luke, the actor burying his face in the crook of Luke’s neck. 

It was the most intense orgasm he ever experienced, leaving his limbs weak and jelly-like. Breathing hard he slipped out of Luke, carefully. Luke winced as he did so. “You okay?” Ashton asked once he was laying beside the other boy. Luke was panting quite harshly. “Yeah, I’m good, really good.” 

Ashton leaned over Luke, and grabbed his shirt up off the floor. He wiped their chests clean before tossing it the floor once again. Luke was almost asleep. Ashton remembered his first time. He passed out right after and slept like a rock. Ashton lay on his side as he brushed blond hair away from Luke’s forehead. He then leaned over and kissed his lips gently. 

He had no idea what the hell he was doing. 

 

It was close to 3 AM and Ashton lay on his back, staring up at the darkened ceiling. He had yet to go to sleep and there was no trace of him going to. He had sex with Luke. He took Luke’s virginity. Should he feel guilty? He doesn’t. Everything about it had been amazing. He knew Luke enjoyed it. But he wished he were awake so they could talk about it. He had no idea what condition Luke’s mental state was like. 

Sighing he rolled over to look at the other boy. He was facing Ashton, dead to the world. His lips, parted slightly, and his hair messed up from Ashton running his fingers through it. He could only imagine how crazy his hair looked. He slept with Luke and still all he thinks about is Luke. Luke just looked so beautiful. What the hell is happening to him? He shuffled over to him, pressing his front to his back, spooning him. He threw an arm over his thin waist. It was like Luke’s body was made for Ashton’s. Inhaling the blond boy's scent he realized how nice it was just being with him.

He just took Luke's virginity earlier. Yes, he indeed was a horrible, selfish person. Things were going to be different between them from now on, Ashton was sure of it. 

The feeling was still there as Ashton eventually drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~I'm not good with love scenes. I'm sorry.~


	23. I was already missing before the night I left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Alright! I hope this chapter is okay! I'm so self-conscience about it!~

The next morning Ashton awoke feeling gross. He needed a shower. Glancing down at the blond beauty beside him guilt seeped into his entire being. He wasn’t gay, but he slept with a boy. He took Luke’s virginity. Luke was so bent on protecting his virtue and Ashton came and screwed that up. Literally. He gripped his hair, willing it to stop. His shower could wait; he needed to get out of here, needed to get away from Luke. He felt as if he was suffocating. His head was swimming as he quickly got out of bed. He hastily searched for his clothes. 

He slipped his shirt on, then his underwear. Getting overly anxious he stumbled as he tried to put his pants on. He hit the floor with a loud THUD! He let out a soft, “Shit!” Luke opened his eyes, ignoring the dull throbbing pain in his backside he looked to the noise that had awoken him. His heart raced as he saw Ashton getting dressed; getting ready to leave. Ashton knew had woken up the blond. He could feel his eyes on him. He continued to slip into his pants. He grabbed up his shoes and began putting them on as well. 

“Ash…”

“Look, I just have to get out of here.” Ashton said quietly. 

“Please, don’t leave.” Ashton winced at how soft Luke’s voice sounded.

“I –I just need to think. My mind’s all screwed up!” He felt as though he was going insane just being in the same room as Luke. 

“Ashton, please,” He begged, “Just stay. We can talk.” Luke’s voice began to get shaky and he cursed himself for being so emotional. 

“I – I can’t. I _need_ to get out of here.” He stood, grabbing his wallet and phone. He made his way to the door. His hand gripped the doorknob. He knew he shouldn’t be leaving. He and Luke could talk about things. But his heart was beating so fast and his head was swimming; he thought he was about to pass out. 

“Don’t leave me, Ashton.” Sobs Luke. 

Ashton chances a glance back at the boy in their bed. His hands are covering his faces and he’s crying so harshly. It pains him to think he’s the cause of it. Ashton thought before, _Luke should never be sad_ , but at the moment Ashton was too busy trying to calm himself down. He was too busy being selfish. 

“Please.” 

Ashton's grip on the knob tightens and he opens the door slightly. 

“I love you, Ashton.” Luke says so quietly Ashton almost didn’t hear it. Anger flared through his body. But it wasn’t for Luke it was for himself. Because of him Luke wasn’t a virgin anymore. Because he took Luke’s virginity Luke thinks he’s in love with Ashton. Luke doesn’t love Ashton. Your first just always means a lot to you. He’s fucked up Luke’s mind as well as his own. He is a useless, a waste of space. 

“I’m sorry.” He says as he walks out of the room.

 

Luke sits in their bed for a long time. Eventually the tears ran out and he just sits there. He thought after last night things would be different. Ashton knew how important his virginity was to Luke. He didn’t care though. He played Luke like a game piece. Luke felt hurt, embarrassed, betrayed. He finally decided he needed to shower, hoping he could wash away any trace of Ashton on his skin. It didn’t help. Not one bit. He threw on Fall Out Boy raglan t-shirt and a pair black skinny jeans. Leaning against the door of the bathroom, he contemplated on what to do next. He gave Ashton _everything_ and the actor didn’t care one bit. If he had then he would have stayed and talked things over with Luke. 

There was a knock at the door. Luke had hoped it was Ashton. He was always forgetting his key card. Opening the door Luke was disappointed to see that it was Michael and not the actor. “Hey, Luke. You alright? You look rough.” 

“I’m fine.” Luke mumbles, as he turns away from the door and walks back further into the room. 

Michael steps inside, closing the door behind him. “Where’s Ashton?”

“He, uh, he left.” 

Luke thought at hearing the actor’s name he would burst into tears again. But he didn’t. Didn’t even get the urge to. Truth be told, he didn’t feel anything. He was just kinda…numb. 

“Everything alright between you two?” Michael raised his pierced brow in question. 

Luke shrugged. He couldn’t possibly speak to Michael about this. He would tell Calum. And Luke didn’t want to talk about this. Calum would yell and tell him how stupid he is. And maybe he is stupid. Michael steps closer, rubbing his friend’s back. “Ashton is doing a lot better, believe it or not. You’re going to have your ups and downs still. But just hang in there.” 

_I can’t Michael. I can’t ‘hang in there’ anymore._ Luke though. No, Luke just couldn't hang in there any longer. He was letting go and falling. 

“We’ll be going home soon, just a little over a month to go. Want to come down and have breakfast with Cal and me?”

“I, uh,” He swallowed thickly, “Thank you. I’m going to take a nap. I didn’t sleep too well last night.”

“Oh, okay then. I’ll text you later.”

“Okay.” Luke says quietly as he watched Michael leave the room. As soon as the door closes Luke pulls his phone out. Putting it to his ear after scrolling through his contacts, he waits. 

“Yeah, hey. It’s Luke. Um, we need to talk.” He paced around the room as he spoke. He stopped in front of the full-length mirror on the closet door, the chain to his necklace poking out of his shirt. He withdrew it from his neck. He held it in his palm, studying it. He brushed his thumb across the A. He gently laid it down on Ashton’s nightstand across the room. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” He whispered into the phone. 

 

Down in the hotel restaurant the red head sees his boyfriend sitting at a table near the middle of the room. He’s engrossed with his phone. He makes his way over to him and sits across from the tan boy. Calum puts his phone down and smiles. “Hey, where’s Luke?”

“Oh, he didn’t look so good. He wanted to go back to sleep.”

“What’s wrong?” Calum knits his brows in confusion.

Michael shrugs. “Just looked really tired.” 

“I should go check on him.” 

“No,” Michael stops him from standing all the way by grabbing onto his hand. “Stay. He’s probably already asleep by now. We’ll check on him in a little while after he gets some sleep.”

Calum reluctantly eases back into his seat. “Okay.”

After they finished eating they went up to Luke and Ashton’s room. Calum knocks on the door. No reply. He knocks again before Michael pulls his phone out to call the blond boy. No answer. That’s when he looks down to see a plastic keycard.

“Well, that’s dangerous.” He bends over to pick it up and slides it in the slot above the door handle. Entering the room Luke is nowhere to be seen. The bathroom door is open, light off. Luke wasn’t in the room at all. 

“He’s not down in the lobby. We were just there.” Calum says uneasily. 

“Maybe he met Ashton somewhere.”

“Maybe.” 

“We can wait here until they come back.” Michael says sitting down on the freshly made bed. House keeping must have just come. The sheets were wrinkle free and smooth. Calum joined him and rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

Out on the street, blocks away, Ashton was about ripping his hair out. He must have looked like a crazy person, mumbling to himself, gripping his hair, his clothes disheveled.

“Pull yourself together, Ashton!” He bumped into someone, but paid no mind to them. He had bigger things to worry about, “It’s just a phase. No, it can’t be a phase. Haven’t ever felt like this before. This is different.” The guilt he felt about what happened between him and the blond last night made him sick to his stomach and then he left him just moments ago, crying, begging Ashton not to leave. But Ashton had to get out of there. He could barely breathe with Luke in the same room. 

When Luke sobbed, “I love you.” Ashton all about lost it and didn’t leave. He almost crawled back in bed. A weird, claustrophobic feeling engulfed his chest and he didn’t know what it was or how to handle it. The thought of Luke being in love with him was almost too much to bare. How could Luke be in love with him, him of all people? Luke wasn’t really in love with him. Luke just thought he loved him. 

Ashton was unlovable.

But as he continued to walk and mumble nonsense to himself the thought of Luke being in love with him begin to sound…Good. It wouldn’t be so bad being in a relationship especially with Luke. Luke was his friend and they had a great time together. If they were together it would still be like that but with kissing and…sex. The sex last night wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t bad at all. Now, the thought of sleeping with any other guy made him want to vomit. Is it possible to be attracted to women and one man? Is that a thing? Ashton didn’t know. 

All these months being with Luke hadn’t been so bad. Yeah, he had hated Luke in the beginning but Ashton liked him now. Maybe even more than liked. He cared for Luke a lot now. He enjoyed his company and Luke was the only person that could bring out a real smile out of the actor. Ashton let all his walls down around Luke. Luke had chiseled his way into his heart. And Ashton was just now realizing it. 

Luke’s smile, his laugh, his love for others, all made the funny feeling in Ashton’s chest expand. Just Luke in general made Ashton so unbelievably happy. Maybe when Luke told Ashton he loved him, Ashton left because he was scared. He was scared that maybe, just maybe, he loved Luke back. This made Ashton stop dead in his tracks. Someone bumped rather harshly into him, but he didn’t care. “I love…Luke?” He muttered to himself. “I love Luke.” He said with more confidence. It just felt right saying it. 

As soon as he admitted this a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He hadn’t felt anything like this. He hadn’t felt this happy in a long time. He had to hurry back to the hotel and make things right. If Luke will give him a chance then Ashton do everything in his power to make it up to the blond beauty. He turned around and ran as fast as he could back to the hotel. 

His heart pounded hard in his chest as he walked up to their room. He didn’t know if it was from running 6 blocks or from being so nervous. He slid the key card into the slot, waiting for the tiny bulb above the handle to turn green, and entered the room. Calum and Michael were laying down on the bed watching some crime show. 

Calum sat up, “Hey, where’s Luke?” 

“He isn’t here?” 

“No.” Calum frowned, worry showing on his face. 

“I saw him this morning, before breakfast. He was tired and went back to bed. We came up here after we ate and he wasn’t here.” Michael told him as he propped himself up on his elbows. 

A feeling of pure panic rose in Ashton’s chest. 

“Have you tried calling him?” 

“No. We just figured he met up with you somewhere.” Calum said. 

Before anything else could be said there was a knock at the door. Ashton quickly went to the door, hoping it was the blond boy. He had never felt such disappointment in his entire life when he saw it wasn’t Luke, but Roy. Roy stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He licks his lips before saying, “I have some news, boys.” 

Ashton didn’t care about anything but Luke at the moment. He had to find him and tell him everything he felt and how sorry he was. 

“It’s Luke.” Roy said and Ashton whipped his head to look at his manager. An icy feeling gripped at Ashton’s heart. What if something happened? Is Luke hurt? 

“What is it, Roy?” Ashton asks, trying to keep his voice calm. 

“He cancelled his contract. I booked him a flight back home.” 

Michael looks down at the bed sadly, not knowing what to do or say. Calum bites his lips. They stay silent, both knowing this would happen. 

“What?” Ashton yells. “Why?”

“He’s done Ashton.” Roy says, rubbing his eyes with his hand. “He can’t do this anymore.”

“No, this has to be…” Something catches his eye. On the nightstand on Luke’s side of the bed he sees it. Walking over he picks up the chain and looks at the A. Luke left the necklace Ashton had given him. Roy’s words about Luke leaving seems so real now. Luke is really gone. 

Michael, still laying back on his elbows asked, “Ash?” 

Gripping the necklace in his hand he asks, “When does his plane leave?” 

Roy looks at his wrist watch, “Half an hour or so.” 

“We have to stop him.” 

“He’s done, Ashton. Let him go.” Calum pleads. 

Ashton grips his hair, “No! I won’t! He can’t leave! You don’t understand!” 

“What do we not understand Ashton?” The older man asks calmly. 

“I love him.” Ashton mumbles, wishing the first person he says that to would have been Luke. 

“You love him?” Calum asks not believing this. “You have a real great way of showing it.” 

“I know I messed up a lot. But Luke’s changed me. He really has.” He turns to look at his manager, “I _need_ him, Roy.” Ashton says, his voice thick and tears shining in his eyes. 

Roy looks at him for a good few minutes before he sighs, “Let’s go get Luke, boys.” 

On the way to the airport Calum threatens the actor, “This better not be some sick joke, Ashton. I’ll kill you if you hurt Luke again.” 

“And as much as I love you Ashton, so will I.” Michael adds. 

Ashton vows he will never hurt the blond again. Luke doesn’t deserve it. 

Roy pulls up to the entrance, “I’ll keep circling around. His plane leaves in 15 minutes! Hurry!” 

The boys jump out and rush inside. It’s crowded and chaotic inside. They will never find him. It all seems hopeless. 

“Split up.” Ashton says as they split up in three different directions. 

“Luke!” Ashton shouts, but his voice is drown out by the sea of people. He sees Michael standing up on the hard plastic chairs, his hands cupped over his mouth. Looking to his right he sees Calum standing on his tiptoes next the restrooms. He signals for both of them to meet back up. The two boys fight their way to get to the actor.

“It’s no use.” Michael pants.

“There are just too many people.” Calum says. 

Ashton is beyond panicking now. If Luke gets on the plane now he wouldn’t see him for months. If he had a choice, if Luke did get on the plane, Ashton would drop everything and follow. But he is in a contract for his movie and can’t leave. He doesn't really want to be sued. 

He rubs his face roughly. He turns around to search for a clock, there is a large one across the room. 7 minutes. Luke leaves in 7minutes. He was just about to turn around and admit defeat to his friends when he sees him. He’s standing in line about to board the plane. Some blond locks peaking out from underneath a gray beanie. 

“Luke,” He whispers, not believing his luck. “LUKE!” He yells, louder than he ever has, getting the blond boy’s attention plus a few others. Luke steps out of line, eyes wide, one earphone in his ear, the other dangling against his chest. Ashton runs as fast as he could to him, not caring he was mowing people down in his path. He crashes into him, tripping over a mixture of his and Luke’s feet. They hit the ground, Luke groaning in pain from underneath the actor. “Ashton,” He groans. 

“Luke! Shit, sorry! Are you okay?” 

“What are you doing here? Get off!” Luke shoves at the actor's shoulder. Ashton quickly stands and helps the blond boy up. 

“You have to listen to me! You can’t leave. I-”

“I’m tired, Ashton.” Luke says miserably. “I can’t do this anymore.” His eyes shine with unshed tears. 

“Just listen.” Ashton steps forward and strokes his cheek softly, “I realized something today.”

Sighing softly Luke asks him, “What?” He wasn’t in the mood for this. He was going to miss his flight. 

“I shouldn’t have left you this morning. It was wrong. I keep running away from my problems and…”

“I’m sorry I’m such a problem for you.” Luke shot back. 

“I’m not done. I realized how much I need you. I was all ready to tell you, but Roy said you were leaving and I kind of lost it. There’s so much I want to say to you Luke, but for now I’m going to start off with saying; I love you.” 

Luke seemed to be searching Ashton’s eyes. Maybe trying to decipher whether Ashton was telling the truth or not. 

“I mean it. I love you and I want to be with you as long as you’ll have me.” 

Luke’s blue eyes look into Ashton’s green ones, “Ash…” He began quietly. Suddenly Ashton is grabbed roughly by the back of his shirt. He’s yanked backwards. Ashton looks at up to see a tall, but chubby man in a uniform; a cop. 

“You, young man, have been causing a big disturbance around here.” 

Michael and Calum run up to them.

“Hey let him go!” Michael shouts. 

“He hasn’t done anything.” Calum says. 

“He’s pushed by people, knocked some down, and tackled this poor kid.” He gestures to Luke. “I should bring you in for disturbing the peace.” 

Michael and Calum protest further, the cop ignoring them. This goes on for a few moments until Luke steps in. “Sir, please don’t. My boyfriend is just a cheesy romance movie cliché. He was trying to stop me from getting on the plane.” 

The cop looked into Luke’s blue eyes, his frown lifting upwards. “Well, I guess I’ll let it go this time. Are you alright, kid?” 

Luke grins widely and nods. It makes the cop smile and it just goes to show the effect Luke has on people. He releases Ashton with a shove. “Stay out of trouble, kid.” He states before walking off. They all watch him go. When he disappears into the crowd Ashton looks back to the blond. “Lukey?”

Luke bites his lip and looks at his feet. He doesn’t know what to do. What if Ashton just doesn’t want him to leave because it would be all over the headlines that they broke up. Maybe Ashton doesn’t want to face the embarrassment. Or this could all be some sick joke. Luke would just die. That would be the last straw. The thing that sent Luke spiraling down a dark abyss. He watched Michael took Calum by the arm and lead him away. Luke stays silent not knowing what to do or say.

“I should have stayed and talked with you this morning. It was wrong f me to leave. I was just scared and…”

“Did you think I wasn’t?” Luke shot back coldly. “I was terrified Ashton. I developed feelings for a complete asshole. You left me this morning. I felt so...cheap, so dirty. Like one of your whores. I kept telling Calum and Michael that they were wrong, that you wouldn’t push me to the side. That you changed…”

“I have!” Ashton cuts him off, feeling like the world’s worst person. And maybe he is. He is in first place. 

“I know I’ve treated you badly. I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.” He reaches out and takes Luke’s hand in his. “I have no idea how to be in a relationship. But I’ll learn. I do know I won’t ever hurt you again. I love you, Luke.” 

“I don’t know Ashton.”

Ashton sounded so sincere and Luke wanted to believe him and maybe a small part of him did. But a huge part of him was just so unsure. Luke heard his flight being called. He heard it for a second time and then a moment later they called for the last time. Glancing down at his ticket in his free hand he knew he wouldn’t be happy going back home. His heart and soul belong here with Ashton. 

He sighed before crumpling up his ticket. Ashton let out a noise that sounded between a sigh and a laugh. Finally looking up at the actor he grinned, “I love you too.” Ashton released his hand, bringing it up to the back of Luke’s head. He quickly stepped forward and dove in, their lips crashing together. 

From afar Michael sighs exasperatedly, “Fucking finally!” 

“I’m worried.” Calum admits watching his best friend smile into the kiss. 

“I am too. But I really think things will be alright now.” 

“I hope.” 

Michael squeezes his boyfriend’s in hand in reassurance. 

 

When their kiss ended due to Michael making catcalls, Ashton held onto Luke’s hand tightly. “Let’s get back to the hotel. We need to talk.” 

“What about studio? You’re supposed to have been there hours ago. You’re going to get…” Ashton silenced him with a kiss. 

“George will just have to deal without me for today. Let’s get outta here." 

 

Ashton locked him and Luke in their room as soon they made it back to the hotel. He locked the door and quickly turned back around and kissed Luke hard. “I love you.” He said almost desperately. 

“I love you too.” Luke smiled. 

Ashton bites his lip to contain his happiness, but it leaked through. He smiles widely. “I uh, almost forgot.” He digs around in his pocket and pulls out a chain. “Will you wear this again? I mean, I have no idea why it’s so important. It’s just a necklace…” 

Luke covers Ashton’s mouth with his hand. “It’s important because it’s the first thing you gave me. Of course I’ll wear it.” He takes his hand away from Ashton’s mouth. Ashton is smiling, as isLuke. 

Ashton parts the necklace and hooks it around Luke’s neck, their eye contact never breaking. Luke looks down at the necklace. His heart seems to beat faster just by looking at it. Is this really happening? 

“I never thought…” Luke shakes his head, “This could happen.”

“What? Us?”

Luke nods. 

“To be honest, me neither.” Ashton chuckles softly. “But I’m glad it did.”

“Me too.” 

Luke’s grin suddenly returns to his face and he shyly drapes his arms around Ashton’s neck, walking closer until their bodies are pressed together. Ashton settles his hands on the blonde’s waist. 

“Tell me something, Mr. Irwin. Are you going to keep kissing that lovely boyfriend of yours?”

Ashton grins down at the boy who stole his heart. Just one look into Luke’s eyes told him everything. Luke could keep his heart. He could do whatever he wanted with it. It's his forever. 

“Well, Mr. Hemmings, I am going to do a lot more than that.” 

He leans down, pressing their lips together. It’s the best feeling in the world knowing that Ashton has the love of his life in his arms. Now that Ashton has him he’s never letting him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~I'm scared to see what you all think about it. I'm not sure when the epilogue will be up. Hopefully soon. I still need to write it. But I know what's going in that chapter. So, have no fear!~


	24. You're the thing I can't quit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Sorry it's been so long. And sorry it's so short. I just liked where I ended this. I hope you all do too. And sorry once more for Malum not being in the epilogue. If y'all think there should be more let know. Talk me.~

It’s been two years since Ashton stopped Luke from getting on a plane back home like some cheesy romance cliché. The passed two years have been full of ups and downs for the couple. But they loved one another even more than they did two years ago. Calum and Michael are still going strong as well. The four of them are best friends and do everything together. 

In fact, a few days after Ashton finished his movie Adam Wilkinson made his appearance once again. With some talk and lots of planning he signed them. That’s how the four boys became known as 5 Seconds of Summer. They released a few EP’s, and a self-entitled album. They were quite proud of themselves. Ashton put acting on the backburner for now. Drumming is his life. Luke moved in with Ashton after being together six months. 

Luke was currently doing laundry. They would be going on tour in a few days and he wanted to make sure he and Ashton had plenty of clean clothes. He just closed the lid to the washer. After a second thought he opened it back up. He then slid out of his sweat pants and put them in, leaving him in a pair of black boxer briefs and one of Ashton’s shirts. It was loose and smelled of the ex-actor’s cologne.

Bending down to stuff the wet clothes from the door of the dryer further into the machine he heard a moan followed by, “Damn, who knew doing laundry could be sexy.” 

Luke straightens up and looks over his shoulder to see his boyfriend leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. Luke grins, turning his attention back to his task. Bending over again Luke’s grin widens. He finishes loading the dryer and turning it on. Arms wrap around his middle, straightening him once again. Feeling hot breath against his neck Luke shivers. “I don’t believe we’ve had sex in here yet.” 

Luke lets out a laugh, “Sex in the laundry room? How romantic.” 

“If you keep wearing my shirt when I’m fucking you it will be.” 

The blonde chokes, which makes Ashton grin. His hand slides from Luke’s waist to the elastic of his boxer-briefs. “And you’re wearing my underwear? You’re killing me Lukey.” His hand ventures further. His fingers wrap around his length and Luke throws his head back against the drummer’s shoulder. “Ashton,” He pants, “C’mon. Don’t tease me.” 

Ashton’s hand moves and the singer lets out a loud, throaty moan. Luke feels Ashton’s cock grow hard against his back. Ashton walks them forward, “Hands on the washer.” He barely let’s out before he’s jerking Luke’s boxer-briefs down his long legs. Luke does as he’s told and braces himself up against the machine. 

There was some shuffling behind the blonde as Ashton yanks his own boxers down. “You’re so beautiful, Lukey.” Ashton says huskily. “Love you.” He places one hand the blonde’s shoulder, the other on his hip and eased into his boyfriend’s heat. 

“I, ugh, love you too!” 

It wasn’t long before the drummer found that certain spot in his boyfriend’s body that made him weak to the knees. Luke threw his head back on Ashton’s shoulder and cried out his name. 

“Don’t stop, don’t stop,” Luke chanted. 

Ashton wouldn’t dream of it. His thrusts became more rapid, more animalistic. Luke wished he could kiss his boyfriend’s lips. But having Ashton’s lips on his neck and shoulder was nice too. The hand that was resting on his hip slid down to his length. Ashton pumped in time with his thrusts. 

“Almost there, Ash.” Luke groans. 

“Me too, Lukey.” 

Luke comes first, over Ashton’s hand and on the dryer. Ashton is mere seconds behind him, filling his boyfriend. Their legs are weak, their bodies tingling all over. Ashton waits a few short seconds to compose himself before gently pulling out of the blond. Luke turns, cupping the back of Ashton’s head and pulling him down for a deep kiss.

Smiling into the kiss Ashton pulls away. He tumps over the laundry basket of clean clothes. Luke is about to protest when Ashton spreads them out and pulls Luke down on them. Luke waits on the makeshift pallet of clothes as he watches Ashton open the dryer and grabs arms full of hot clothes. He dumps them on his boyfriend. He continues to get arms full until Luke is buried. He joins him in the warm clothes. Luke giggles. 

“I’m going to kill you.” Luke whines, “I’ll have to wash all these again.” 

Ashton wads up some shirts and hoodies to make pillows. He then ushers Luke to lay down with him. He does. Ashton wraps an arm around Luke’s shoulders. “How about you wash and dry, while I’ll fold. I’ll do the most un-fun part. Okay?” Ashton promises. 

Luke grins widely. “Deal,” He says right before kissing him again. Luke settles down beside him, their bodies pressed together. Ashton lazily plays with the soft, blond hair. 

They laid there until the clothes lost their warmth and then some. “We need to get up.” Luke states. 

“No we don’t.”

“We need to redo all this laundry.” Luke gestures at the clothes around them. 

“No.” Ashton whines. Luke smiles at this boyfriend’s child-like manner. 

“I’ll do the laundry naked.” Luke bribes. 

Ashton stopped his whining and looked at him. He bit his lip, pondering. “Promise?” 

As to answer Luke stands and takes off his shirt. He lets it fall to the ground. Ashton drinks in Luke’s body. Luke holds his hand out for Ashton to take. Ashton does. With one more look at the singer’s naked body he lets out a moan, pulling Luke on top of him. “One more go.” Ashton begs. 

Luke smiles and says, “As long as I get to ride you.” 

Hearing those words made Ashton’s length stiffen. “Please.” He says throatily. 

Luke places his hands on Ashton’s chest and leans down to kiss his lips. He then pushes the drummer down so that he’s lying on his back. Ashton rests his hands on Luke’s hips. He looks at him, takes in his beauty. From his blonde hair and blue eyes to his mile-long legs. But it’s not just Luke’s body Ashton loves. It’s his mind. His kindness towards others, how he still blushes when Ashton says dirty things to him, and how much he loves Ashton, even when the drummer treated him like dirt in the past. He’s the luckiest guy in the world. 

Before they begin Ashton says seriously, “I love you Luke.” 

Luke looks at him smiling softly, “I love you too Ashton.” They share one more kiss before making love again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Well, I'm so sad this over. But I'm glad it's finished for you all. I have no more 5SOS fics planned right now, but who knows what will happen. I love you all! Remember, talk to me if you think I should add anything to this! I love your feedback!~

**Author's Note:**

> ~I hope you all liked the first chapter. I've had this story typed up on my computer for a couple of months now. I've been so scared to post it!~


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